Maybe Being a Good Leader isn't Always Catching the Ball

Grab your coffee... this one is for the rescuers.

You know who you are.  

You're the person people call when something isn't getting done.

Someone misses a deadline?

    You figure it out.

Someone forgets something important?

    You handle it.

Someone is overwhelmed?

    You take something off their plate.

Something is about to fall through the cracks?

    You catch it.

And if we're being honest over coffee…

There's something rewarding about being the person who saves the day.

People know they can count on you.

    You're dependable.

        You're capable.

            You care.

                Those are good qualities.

But I've been thinking about something:

What happens when helping someone becomes protecting them from the consequences of their own performance?

That's where leadership gets complicated.

Because covering for someone once is kindness.

Maybe twice is teamwork.

But when you're covering for the same person every week?

It's no longer an exception.

You've created a system.

    They drop it.

        You catch it.

            They miss it.

                You fix it.

                    They forget.

                        You remember.

                            They don't finish.

                                You stay late.

                                    And eventually everyone adjusts to the arrangement.

                                        Including you.

Here's the uncomfortable part.

The rescuer often pays the highest price.

The other person leaves at 5:00.

You're still working.

They aren't stressed about the deadline because somewhere in the back of their mind they know you'll make sure it gets done.

You're frustrated.

    They're comfortable.

        And then resentment starts creeping in.

            “Why am I always the one doing this?”

                “Why doesn't anyone hold them accountable?”

                    “Doesn't anyone see what's happening?”

Those are fair questions.

But eventually there's another question we have to be willing to ask:

Why do I keep rescuing them?

    Ouch.

        Take another sip. 

Because this isn't only about the person dropping the ball.

Sometimes we need to examine why we're always so willing to pick it up.

Maybe we hate conflict.

Maybe we don't want someone to be upset with us.

Maybe we're worried the team will look bad.

Maybe we believe good leaders protect their people from failure.

Maybe we like being needed.

Or maybe we're so accustomed to being the responsible one that stepping in has become automatic.

But here's something I've learned about leadership:

Accountability and compassion are not opposites.

You can care about someone and still expect them to do their job.

You can understand that someone is struggling and still have a conversation about performance.

You can give someone another chance without pretending the first problem never happened.

And you can allow someone to experience a consequence without being cruel.

In fact, sometimes the consequence is where the learning happens.

Think about it.

If I miss every deadline but someone quietly fixes everything before anyone notices…

What exactly have I learned?

    That deadlines don't matter?

        That somebody else will handle it?

            That my work eventually becomes someone else's problem?

We've protected the person from failure.

But we may also have protected them from growth.

That's the part I think leaders especially need to wrestle with.

Our job isn't to make sure the people around us never struggle.

Our job is to help them become capable of handling the struggle.

There's a difference between:

“I'll do it for you.”

and

“I'll help you figure out how you're going to do it.”

The first solves today's problem.

The second develops tomorrow's employee.

That's coaching.

Ask questions.

• “What happened?”
• “What got in the way?”
• “What are you going to do differently?”
• “What support do you need?”
• “How are you going to get this back on track?”

Notice what's missing?

“Don't worry. I'll take care of it.”

And here's another uncomfortable truth for leaders:

When you repeatedly cover for poor performance, the rest of the team notices.

Your strongest performers especially notice.

    They're meeting deadlines.

        They're carrying their responsibilities.

            They're solving their problems.

                And they're watching someone else repeatedly drop the ball without consequences.

Eventually they stop asking:

“Why isn't that person performing?”

And start asking:

“Why is our leader allowing it?”

That's when an individual performance problem becomes a culture problem.

Because what leaders repeatedly tolerate eventually becomes part of the standard.

That doesn't mean we stop helping people.

Far from it.

People have bad weeks.

Life happens.

Emergencies happen.

Good employees stumble.

Teams should absolutely support one another.

But there's a difference between someone who needs help and someone who has learned that help will always arrive before accountability does.

So here's what I'm thinking about over coffee this Thursday:

Maybe being a good leader isn't always catching the ball.

Sometimes it's letting the person who dropped it pick it back up.

Stand beside them.

    Coach them.

        Give them the tools.

            Help them understand what went wrong.

                But let the responsibility stay where it belongs.

Because there's something worse than allowing someone to experience a small failure:

Teaching them that someone else will always prevent it.

Support people.

    Believe in people.

        Give people grace.

            But don't confuse grace with removing accountability.

And if you're the person who's always rescuing everyone else, ask yourself one question before you pick up the next ball:

Am I helping them succeed... or am I helping them avoid learning how to succeed without me?

Sometimes leadership means stepping in.

And sometimes…

leadership means resisting the urge to rescue. 

Leadership is leading with strength and showing your team that you believe in living on purpose. 

Happy Monday all,

-srt

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