Rising Again Is a Skill

Earlier this week, we talked about rising again.

Today, let’s talk about how.  Because most people do not struggle with failure, they struggle with what they say to themselves afterward.

Shame slows recovery.
Structure accelerates it.

Then walk them through the coaching tools.

Coaching Tool 1: The Failure Debrief Process

Instead of:
“I messed everything up.”

Ask three grounded questions:

1. What actually happened? (Facts only.)
2. What was within my control?
3. What was outside my control?

This separates reality from emotional distortion.

Failure feels catastrophic when it is vague.
It becomes manageable when it is specific.

Coaching Tool 2: The Three Lesson Method

Every setback contains instruction.  

Let me repeat that.

Every setback contains instruction (we just need to decomp the setback to find it).

Write down:

• One practical lesson
• One leadership lesson
• One personal growth lesson

If you extract the lesson, the failure pays you back.

Coaching Tool 3: Self Compassion Practice

This is where most high performers resist.

Instead of:
“I should have known better.”

Try:
“I am learning.”
“I am growing capacity.”
“This is uncomfortable, not fatal.”

Self-compassion is not weakness.
It prevents emotional paralysis.

Research consistently shows it increases accountability and improvement.

Coaching Tool 4: The Bounce Back Plan

Resilience requires movement.

Ask Yourself:

"What is one small action I can take within 24 hours?"

Not a grand redemption arc.
Just one forward step.

Send the email.
Have the follow-up conversation.
Revise the proposal.
Apply again.

Momentum restores confidence faster than rumination.

Final Thoughts

The goal is not perfection.
The goal is shortening the gap between fall and rise.

Recovery is trainable.

And every time you rise again,
you build evidence that you can.

Stand firm. Bend wisely. Rise again.

Happy Thursday Lovelies,

-srt

Rise Again

There is a Japanese proverb: Nana korobi ya oki.

Fall seven times.
Stand up eight.

Culturally, it reflects a deep value in Japanese philosophy: endurance, persistence, and steady effort despite hardship.

It does not say, “Do not fall.”
It does not say, “Strong people stay standing.”

It assumes the fall.

Because falling is part of living.
Part of leading.
Part of stretching beyond what you already know how to do.

Resilience is not about avoiding failure.
It is about recovery speed.

How long do you stay in self-doubt?
How long do you rehearse the mistake?
How long do you let one moment define you?

Failure is an event.
It is not an identity.

The strongest leaders are not the ones who never stumble.
They are the ones who refuse to stay down.

They get up before their confidence fully returns.
They move before the embarrassment completely fades.
They act before they feel ready.

That is resilience.

This week, if something does not go as planned:

Pause.
Breathe.
Learn.
Then rise.

Fall seven times.
Stand up eight.

Stand firm. Bend wisely. Rise again.

-srt

When Standing Feels Lonely

On Monday we talked about standing anyway.

But here’s the part we don’t always say out loud:

Standing can feel lonely.

It sounds empowering in theory.
Until you’re the only one in the room who sees it that way.
Until the energy shifts after you speak.
Until the email tone changes.

Until the silence lingers a little too long.

That’s when doubt creeps in.

Was I too much?
Should I have just let it go?
Did I create tension?

This is the moment where most people retreat.

Not because they lack conviction.
But because they fear disconnection.

Here’s what’s true:

Standing is not about volume.
It’s about alignment.

You don’t stand to overpower.
You stand to stay congruent with who you are.

And congruence builds self-trust.

So, if this week required you to stand (in a meeting, in a boundary, in a difficult conversation) here are a few ways to steady yourself.

Coaching Tool 1: Core Belief Inventory

When standing feels uncomfortable, examine the belief underneath the discomfort.

Ask yourself:

• Do I believe I must be liked to be effective?
• Do I believe conflict equals failure?
• Do I believe strong equals aggressive?
• Do I believe my needs are less important than harmony?

Write the beliefs down.

Then ask:
"Is this belief rooted in truth or in fear?"

Often, the tension isn’t from standing.
It’s from challenging a belief you’ve carried for years.

Coaching Tool 2: Personal Mission Statement

Create a short identity anchor you can return to when doubt surfaces.

Finish this sentence:

“When I am fully aligned, I show up as someone who…”

Then craft a 1–2 sentence mission statement.

Example:
“I lead with clarity, integrity, and calm strength. I honor my values even when it’s uncomfortable.”

Let this become your internal compass.

When you feel shaken, return to it.

Coaching Tool 3: Boundary Setting Framework

If standing required you to set a boundary, reflect on this:

• What behavior was misaligned?
• What is my responsibility?
• What is not my responsibility?
• What consequence maintains alignment moving forward?

Boundaries are not punishments.
They are clarity.

And clarity reduces resentment.

Coaching Tool 4: Values Alignment Check

After a hard moment, don’t ask:
“Did they like it?”

Ask:

• Was I respectful?
• Was I honest?
• Was I clear?
• Was I aligned with my values?

If the answer is yes ... then you stood well.

Even if it was uncomfortable.

Standing is not about force.  It is about rootedness.

The goal isn’t to win every room.
The goal is to remain steady within yourself.

So if it felt lonely this week, that doesn’t mean you were wrong.

It may mean you are growing.

Reflection Question for You:

Where do you need to keep standing, even if it feels uncomfortable?

Growth rarely asks for applause.
But it always asks for courage.

Stand steady. Rise strong.

-srt