What Are You Missing Because You’re Already Thinking About What’s Next?

Grab your coffee. Mine is hot, which means there is at least a 50 percent chance I will actually drink it before it gets cold today.

I want to tell you about something I learned recently.

Well, technically, I had to learn it.

It was an assignment for my doctorate and coaching certification called BREATHe, from Charles Stone's book Holy Noticing.

You know how sometimes you do something because it is on the syllabus, and then somewhere along the way you think...

Oh.

I actually needed this.

That was BREATHe for me.

The practice is pretty simple. You slow down and pay attention to your Body, Relationships, Environment, Affect (your emotions), Thoughts, and Heart.

In other words, you notice.

And apparently, I am not always very good at that.

I am really good at doing.

I can teach a class, answer emails, work with a coaching client, serve on a board, write something, solve three problems, think about dinner, and mentally start tomorrow's list all before finishing the cup of coffee sitting next to me.

Maybe you know the feeling.

We are physically in one place while our brains are already three places ahead.

And here I am with present as my word for the year.

God has a sense of humor.

But there was one part of this practice that really stayed with me.

Instead of saying:

I am anxious.

Try:

I am experiencing anxiety.

Instead of:

I am overwhelmed.

Try:

I am feeling overwhelmed right now.

That tiny shift stopped me.

Because how often do we take something we are experiencing and turn it into something we are?

I am frustrated.

I am afraid.

I am angry.

I am overwhelmed.

I am not enough.

Wait.

Is that actually true?

Or is that simply what I am feeling or thinking in this particular moment?

There is a difference.

And sometimes that little bit of space gives us enough room to get curious instead of reactive.

What am I actually feeling?

Why did that bother me so much?

What story am I telling myself about this?

What do I actually know to be true?

And perhaps most importantly for me:

What do I need to notice here?

Not fix.

Not solve.

Not defend.

Not immediately respond.

Just...

notice.

That might be the part I'm carrying with me most.

I was trained as a journalist, so I learned to look for the story.

Becoming a coach has taught me to listen for the person inside the story.

And lately, I think God is teaching me to notice Him in the middle of all of it.

Maybe being present isn't about slowing our entire lives down.

Maybe it is simply learning to stop long enough, every once in a while, to realize we are actually living them.

So that's my Thursday Thought over coffee today.

Before you rush into whatever is next, pause.

Take one breath.

Look around.

Check your heart.

Notice what you're thinking.

Notice what you're feeling.

And maybe ask:

What am I missing because I'm already thinking about what's next?

I'll be practicing right along with you.

And hopefully drinking my coffee while it's still hot.

Happy Thursday Lovelies,

-srt

 

#ThursdayThoughts #CoffeeWithStacy #BREATHe #HolyNoticing #BePresent #FaithInEverydayLife #PauseAndNotice #ReaCoachingAndConsulting #LeadWithStrength #LiveWithPurpose

Maybe You Don’t Need to Do More. Maybe You Need to Notice.

I learned something recently because I had to.

Isn't that how some of the best lessons begin?

As part of my doctoral work and coaching certification, I was assigned a practice called BREATHe, from Charles Stone's Holy Noticing.

And yes, there was an academic paper involved.

Because apparently simply saying, "Wow, that was really helpful," doesn't quite meet doctoral level requirements.

But somewhere between completing the assignment and writing the reflection, something happened.

I realized I wasn't just learning a coaching technique.

I was learning how to notice.

BREATHe walks you through six areas:

Body
Relationships
Environment
Affect, or emotions
Thoughts
Heart

It sounds simple.

Until you actually stop long enough to do it.

I spend a lot of my life moving.

Teaching. Coaching. Writing. Serving. Leading. Planning. Solving. Thinking about what needs to happen next.

Maybe you do too.

We can become so good at managing our lives that we forget to actually experience them.

BREATHe asked me to stop.

What is happening in my body right now?

What relationships need my attention?

What is happening around me that I haven't even noticed?

What am I feeling?

What am I thinking?

And what is happening in my heart?

Not fixing.

Not judging.

Not immediately developing a five point action plan.

Just noticing.

That last part may be the hardest for those of us who are used to getting things done.

I was trained as a journalist, so I learned years ago to look for the story.

As a coach, I am learning to listen for the person within the story.

And through BREATHe, I am learning something else:

Sometimes we need to become quiet enough to notice what God may already be doing in the middle of it all.

Maybe today's Monday Motivation isn't about doing one more thing.

Maybe it is about noticing the life you are already living.

Take a breath.

Notice your body.

Think about your relationships.

Look around you.

Name what you're feeling.

Listen to your thoughts.

Then ask one simple question:

What do You want me to notice today?

You may be surprised by the answer.

Hoping you take time to notice today,

-srt

#MondayMotivation #BREATHe #HolyNoticing #BePresent #PurposefulLiving #FaithAndLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #ReaCoachingAndConsulting #LeadWithStrength #LiveWithPurpose

The Stories We Live By

I've been thinking about our conversation on Monday.

A few weeks back, I wrapped up another semester teaching graduate Project Management at Jessup University.

As I was meeting with students about their final projects, I found myself wondering...

Years from now, what will they actually remember?

Will it be the project charter?

The Gantt chart?

The executive status report?

Maybe.

But I have a feeling they'll remember something else.

The stories.

The story about the project that failed before it succeeded.

The story about a leader who admitted they didn't have all the answers.

The story about taking a risk.

Making a mistake.

Learning the lesson.

Trying again.

One statement from a recent leadership course has stayed with me all week.

The brain is wired for stories.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized storytelling isn't just something authors or speakers do.

It's one of the greatest gifts we can give another person.

Think about it.

When someone shares a story about overcoming failure...

    You borrow courage.

When they talk honestly about grief...

    You borrow hope.

When they describe starting over...

    You borrow possibility.

Stories help us believe that if someone else found a way forward...

    Maybe we can, too.

As a coach, I've noticed something else.

The most powerful stories aren't always the ones we tell other people.

They're the ones we tell ourselves.

"I'll never be good at this."

"I'm too old."

"I've missed my chance."

"I'm not enough."

Those stories shape our decisions long before anyone else hears them.

But here's the beautiful part.

Stories can be rewritten.

Instead of saying...

"I failed."

What if the story became...

"I'm learning."

Instead of...

"I'll never figure this out."

What if it became...

"I haven't figured it out yet."

The facts haven't changed.

But the story has.

And sometimes that's enough to change the future.

Coffee Conversation

Before we finish our coffee together...

Can I leave you with one question?

What story have you been telling yourself that no longer deserves a leading role in your life?

Don't rush to answer.

Sometimes we don't realize we've been living inside an old story until someone gently invites us to imagine a new one.

This Week's Reminder

The stories you tell yourself become the life you build.

Choose them carefully.

Until next time, keep leading with strength and living with purpose.

-srt

#ThursdayThoughts #Storytelling #LeadershipDevelopment #Coaching #Mentorship #Learning #GrowthMindset #LeadWithStories #ProfessionalDevelopment #Purpose #ReaCoachingandConsulting