Tuesday, September 1, 2026

The Dandelion Effect: Silver Wishes Helps Seniors Feel Seen, Known and Valued

Stephanie Berger, Silver Wishes Co-Founder, and Stacy Rea Thomas coffee conversation

For Stephanie Berger, granting a wish has never been only about the person receiving it.

Before founding Silver Wishes, Berger served as a Wish Maker with Make-A-Wish. There, she learned that while a wish may begin with a child, its impact extends to the entire family. Parents, siblings, volunteers and others become part of an experience that creates joy and hope during difficult circumstances.

Berger also spent time delivering Meals on Wheels, where she encountered a different reality: some seniors feel invisible.

Those experiences stayed with her.

“I knew there were seniors in our community who didn't feel seen,” Berger said. “It is important that they know they are known and valued.”

Combined with Berger's passion for spreading kindness, those experiences eventually led to a question: Why should the power of a wish end with childhood?

In April 2021, Silver Wishes was born.

Today, the nonprofit has received 286 wish nominations and granted 180 wishes. Now, Silver Wishes is taking another significant step, expanding its reach into Citrus Heights, Orangevale, Fair Oaks and Carmichael.

And Berger is asking the community to help find the seniors who need them.

“We need eyes and ears in the community,” she said.

From Make-A-Wish to Silver Wishes

Berger's experience as a Wish Maker helped shape a philosophy that remains central to Silver Wishes today.

A wish has a primary recipient, but the experience doesn't stop there.

The child receiving a Make-A-Wish experience was at the center, but Berger saw how the child's family was affected, too. She saw what happened to the people who participated in creating the experience.

Years later, that lesson would become fundamental to Silver Wishes.

The organization grants wishes to seniors, but Berger believes the impact of a wish can travel far beyond the senior receiving it.

She calls it the Dandelion Effect.

Imagine blowing on a dandelion. One seed becomes many, carried outward and eventually landing somewhere new.

Berger sees kindness working the same way.

One act touches a senior. But it also touches the volunteer who helps make the wish happen, the business that donates a product or service, the donor who provides financial support, the senior's family, neighbors and others who witness the experience.

Then those people have the opportunity to spread kindness again.

“The ripple effect is real,” Berger said. “It doesn't stop with the senior. It touches the volunteers, the businesses, the donors and the families.”

In fact, one of the biggest surprises for Berger has been discovering what Silver Wishes gives back to her.

“I didn't expect the level of joy I am receiving,” she said. “When I see the ripple effect, it is real and it is happening.”

Sometimes a Wish Is a Basic Necessity

The word wish can conjure images of dream vacations and once-in-a-lifetime bucket-list experiences.

That's not necessarily what Berger and the Silver Wishes board encounter.

After hundreds of nominations, a pattern has emerged: many seniors aren't asking for extravagant experiences.

They're asking for basic things.

Some are financially strapped. Something many people would consider an ordinary household expense or necessity can be beyond the senior's means.

That discovery has helped Berger better understand the population Silver Wishes serves.

The wish may be practical, but its impact can be profound.

Something that improves mobility can restore independence. Something that makes a home more comfortable can allow a senior to live with greater dignity. A relatively simple need being met can relieve a burden that has weighed on someone for months or years.

Silver Wishes isn't simply asking, What would you like?

It is asking what difference granting that wish could make in the senior's life.

How a Silver Wish Is Granted

The process starts with the community.

A senior can nominate themselves for a wish. A friend can nominate someone. So can a neighbor, family member or another community member who sees a senior with a need.

The nominations then go before Silver Wishes' eight-member board, which reviews them monthly.

The first consideration is whether the senior and the request meet the organization's wish criteria.

Among those criteria, the senior must be cognitively aware that they are receiving the granted wish.

That requirement reflects an important aspect of Silver Wishes' philosophy: the senior isn't simply the beneficiary of an anonymous charitable transaction. The experience of knowing that someone noticed, someone cared and someone wanted to do something specifically for them is part of the wish itself.

The board also evaluates the potential impact of the request before deciding which wishes to grant.

To date, the community has submitted 286 nominations, and Silver Wishes has granted 180 wishes.

Behind each number is a person.

And behind each nomination is another person who first noticed.

Learning to Build a Nonprofit

Silver Wishes was founded in April 2021 by Berger and co-founder Cyndi Dolan, who is no longer involved with the organization.

For Berger, starting Silver Wishes also meant learning what it takes to build and operate a nonprofit organization.

In November 2021, she joined the board of the Lincoln Community Foundation in part because she wanted to understand the inner workings of a nonprofit, including the important compliance responsibilities that happen behind the scenes.

There was a natural connection between the work, too.

The Lincoln Community Foundation awards grants to support organizations and needs in the community. Berger saw a parallel between evaluating grants and evaluating wishes: resources are limited, needs are plentiful, and thoughtful decisions have to be made about where those resources can create meaningful impact.

That education helped Berger develop not just as a Wish Maker, but as the leader of a growing nonprofit.

The Next Chapter

Five years after its founding, Silver Wishes is entering a new phase.

What began in Placer County is expanding.

Silver Wishes is now moving into Citrus Heights, Orangevale, Fair Oaks and Carmichael, creating the opportunity to reach seniors across a broader region.

But expanding into a community doesn't automatically mean Silver Wishes will find the seniors who need it.

That's why Berger is looking for more “eyes and ears in the community.”

A neighbor might notice that the senior next door is struggling.

A business owner might hear a customer's story.

A church member might recognize that someone in the congregation has a need.

A friend might know that a senior would never ask for help themselves.

A community volunteer might encounter someone who has quietly gone without something important because they simply cannot afford it.

Those people can become the connection between that senior and Silver Wishes.

And sometimes, the most important first step isn't granting the wish.

It's noticing the person.

A Community That Sees Its Seniors

That idea goes back to Berger's Meals on Wheels experience.

Some seniors feel invisible.

Silver Wishes wants them to know they aren't.

A wish can provide something tangible, but it can also deliver a much more fundamental message:

We see you.

We know you're here.

You matter.

You are valued.

And then the Dandelion Effect begins.

The senior receives an act of kindness. The volunteer experiences the joy of giving. A business discovers another way it can serve its community. A donor sees the human impact of a contribution. A family is touched by what happens to someone they love.

One act creates another.

Berger started Silver Wishes intending to bring hope and joy to seniors. What she didn't anticipate was how much joy she and others would receive in return.

That discovery may ultimately be one of the most powerful things about Silver Wishes.

Kindness isn't depleted when it's given away.

It multiplies.

Become Part of the Dandelion Effect

As Silver Wishes enters Citrus Heights, Orangevale, Fair Oaks and Carmichael, Berger's invitation to the community is simple: pay attention.

Look around.

Who is the senior in your neighborhood who might be struggling quietly?

Who has stopped doing something they love because they can't afford what they need?

Who might never nominate themselves?

Who needs to know that somebody sees them?

Be the eyes and ears that notice.

Nominate a senior. Volunteer. Support a wish. Introduce Silver Wishes to a business that might be able to help. Tell someone else about the organization.

And there is another opportunity to get involved: Silver Wishes will host Bingo on October 14.

Come play. Meet the people behind the organization. Learn about the wishes being granted and the seniors being served.

Most importantly, become part of what Berger calls the Dandelion Effect.

Because after 286 nominations and 180 wishes, Silver Wishes has learned that granting a wish isn't necessarily where the story ends.

Sometimes it's where the next act of kindness begins.

Monday, August 31, 2026

The Books That Meet Us Where We Are



Over the past few weeks, many of you have reached out after picking up The Let Them Theory, Wintering, or one of Brenรฉ Brown's books because of something I shared here.

First...thank you.

There are few things that bring me more joy than hearing someone found exactly the book they needed at exactly the right moment.

It reminded me of something I've come to believe.

Books have seasons.

There are books we read for information.

And then there are books that quietly walk beside us while we're becoming someone new.

As an executive coach, I've watched that happen over and over again.

Someone is navigating a career transition.

Retirement.

A broken relationship.

A leadership challenge.

A season of uncertainty.

And one book somehow gives them words for what they've been feeling all along.

If I had to recommend five books for someone navigating a significant life transition, these are the ones I return to again and again.

๐Ÿ“š The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

๐Ÿ“š Wintering by Katherine May

๐Ÿ“š Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud

๐Ÿ“š Grit by Angela Duckworth

๐Ÿ“š The Gifts of Imperfection by Brenรฉ Brown

As I looked at that list this week, I realized something.

These books don't just stand alone.

Together, they tell a story.

    They remind us to let go of what we cannot control.

        To honor seasons of rest.

            To release what no longer serves us.

                To keep showing up when life is hard.

And ultimately...

To become more fully who we were created to be.

Maybe that's why they've meant so much to me.

Because each one has met me in a different season of my own life.

And together, they've quietly shaped the person I'm still becoming.

This Week's Reminder

The best books don't simply change what you know. They change how you live.

I'd love to hear from you.

What book met you exactly where you were and quietly changed the way you see the world?

Happy Monday, friends.

Until next time, keep leading with strength and living with purpose.

-srt

#MotivationalMonday #Leadership #Books #PersonalGrowth #LiveWithPurpose #ReaCoachingandConsulting

Saturday, August 29, 2026

If It Can Happen to Me, It Can Happen to You

I want to talk about something more serious today.

Verbal and emotional abuse.

And before I go any further, I think we need to be careful with that word.

Not every argument is abuse.

Not every angry text is abuse.

Someone disagreeing with us is not abuse.

Someone telling us that we hurt them is not abuse.

And someone setting a boundary we don’t like is certainly not abuse.

Relationships are complicated. People get angry. People misunderstand each other. People say things they regret.

But there is a point where conflict can become something else.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes emotional abuse as nonphysical behaviors used to control, isolate or frighten another person. Those behaviors can include manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, excessive jealousy, insults, constant monitoring and attempts to separate someone from people who support them.

And sometimes it happens one sentence at a time.

Isolation Doesn't Always Look Like Isolation

Rarely does someone say:

“You can't be friends with her.”

Instead, it sounds like:

    “You should know what she says about you.”

        “I’m the only one who defended you.”

            “You have no idea what people really think about you.”

                “Eventually you'll see who your real friends are.”

Think about what happens next.

You begin looking at people differently.

An innocent comment suddenly feels suspicious.

A short text seems unfriendly.

You start wondering what conversations are happening when you aren't there.

And eventually you may pull away from people without anyone ever explicitly telling you to.

Isolation can happen emotionally long before it happens physically.

Then Comes the Erosion of Self

You’re selfish.

    You’re cruel.

        You’ve changed.

            You don't care about anyone but yourself.

                You always make everything about you.

                    You abandoned me.

Repeated criticism can do something incredibly damaging.

Instead of evaluating a particular behavior, you begin evaluating your entire character.

The question changes from:

“Did I handle that situation well?”

to:

“Am I a bad person?”

Those are very different questions.

Healthy accountability addresses behavior.

    “You said something that hurt me.”

        “I felt dismissed when that happened.”

            “I wish you had handled that differently.”

Those statements leave room for conversation.

Character attacks don't.

And Then You Start Defending Yourself

This may be one of the most exhausting parts.

You explain what you meant.

You clarify what happened.

You apologize for anything you legitimately did wrong.

You reassure the person.

You try again.

But somehow the conversation never reaches resolution.

Your explanation becomes another argument.

Your boundary becomes another offense.

Your request for space becomes proof that you don't care.

Your decision not to engage becomes another accusation against your character.

Eventually you realize something:

You aren't having a conversation anymore.

You are defending yourself in a trial that never adjourns.

Boundaries Are Where We Learn A Lot

A healthy person may not like your boundary.

They may be disappointed.

They may disagree with it.

They may even be hurt by it.

But ultimately, healthy relationships require respect for another person's autonomy.

“I don't want to discuss this anymore.”

“I need some space.”

“Please stop texting me about this.”

“No.”

Those are complete boundaries.

A boundary doesn't require the other person's agreement in order to exist.

And repeatedly trying to break someone's boundary through guilt, accusations, relentless messaging or emotional pressure doesn't become acceptable simply because the person doing it is hurting.

Pain deserves compassion.

Pain does not give any of us permission to hurt someone else.

There Is Another Piece We Don't Talk About Enough

Sometimes we participate in our own isolation without realizing it.

Someone tells us terrible things another person supposedly said about us.

    We believe them.

        We begin seeing that person through somebody else's eyes.

            We withdraw.

                Maybe we become angry.

                    Maybe we damage a relationship that had never actually harmed us.

This is why I have become increasingly cautious about allowing someone else's relationship with another person to become my relationship with that person.

I want to form my own opinions.

Have my own conversations.

And judge people by how they actually treat me.

Because “I'm just telling you what everyone is saying” isn't always protection.

Sometimes it is manipulation.

If You Recognize Yourself in This

Don't diagnose the other person from a social media post.

Don't diagnose yourself either.

Look at the pattern.

  • Are you increasingly questioning your own judgment?
  • Are you constantly defending your character?
  • Are you being told that other people don't like you, can't be trusted or are talking about you?
  • Do you feel guilty whenever you say no?
  • Does asking for space result in more messages, accusations or pressure?
  • Have you pulled away from people you once trusted?
  • Do you find yourself carefully choosing every word because you're afraid of what reaction it might cause?

Those questions are worth paying attention to.

And if you're thinking, “But this person really is hurting,” two things can be true at the same time.

Their pain can be real.

And the way they are treating you can still be unacceptable.

Compassion does not require surrendering your boundaries.

Forgiveness does not require continued access.

And understanding why someone behaves a certain way does not require you to continue receiving the behavior.

If You Need Support

You do not have to decide whether your experience officially “qualifies” as abuse before asking someone for help.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential support, information and safety planning. You can call 800 799 SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or connect with an advocate online.
National Domestic Violence Hotline

For younger people and those concerned about dating relationships, love is respect provides information about emotional and verbal abuse, healthy relationships and warning signs.
love is respect

If you are experiencing significant emotional distress or simply need someone to talk to, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day. You do not have to be suicidal to contact 988. Call or text 988 or use online chat.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

And if you are in immediate danger, call 911.

One Final Thought

Words don't leave bruises we can photograph.

But that doesn't mean they don't leave marks.

Pay attention to relationships that make you smaller.

Pay attention when you find yourself becoming isolated.

Pay attention when you spend more time defending who you are than simply being who you are.

And pay attention when someone refuses to hear the word no.

We can be compassionate.

We can forgive.

We can wish someone healing.

And we can still say:

You may not speak to me this way anymore.

Thursday Thought

Sometimes protecting your peace isn't about proving someone else is wrong.

It's finally deciding that you no longer need their permission to walk away.

Until next time, keep leading with strength and living with purpose.

srt