Maybe Being a Good Leader isn't Always Catching the Ball

Grab your coffee... this one is for the rescuers.

You know who you are.  

You're the person people call when something isn't getting done.

Someone misses a deadline?

    You figure it out.

Someone forgets something important?

    You handle it.

Someone is overwhelmed?

    You take something off their plate.

Something is about to fall through the cracks?

    You catch it.

And if we're being honest over coffee…

There's something rewarding about being the person who saves the day.

People know they can count on you.

    You're dependable.

        You're capable.

            You care.

                Those are good qualities.

But I've been thinking about something:

What happens when helping someone becomes protecting them from the consequences of their own performance?

That's where leadership gets complicated.

Because covering for someone once is kindness.

Maybe twice is teamwork.

But when you're covering for the same person every week?

It's no longer an exception.

You've created a system.

    They drop it.

        You catch it.

            They miss it.

                You fix it.

                    They forget.

                        You remember.

                            They don't finish.

                                You stay late.

                                    And eventually everyone adjusts to the arrangement.

                                        Including you.

Here's the uncomfortable part.

The rescuer often pays the highest price.

The other person leaves at 5:00.

You're still working.

They aren't stressed about the deadline because somewhere in the back of their mind they know you'll make sure it gets done.

You're frustrated.

    They're comfortable.

        And then resentment starts creeping in.

            “Why am I always the one doing this?”

                “Why doesn't anyone hold them accountable?”

                    “Doesn't anyone see what's happening?”

Those are fair questions.

But eventually there's another question we have to be willing to ask:

Why do I keep rescuing them?

    Ouch.

        Take another sip. 

Because this isn't only about the person dropping the ball.

Sometimes we need to examine why we're always so willing to pick it up.

Maybe we hate conflict.

Maybe we don't want someone to be upset with us.

Maybe we're worried the team will look bad.

Maybe we believe good leaders protect their people from failure.

Maybe we like being needed.

Or maybe we're so accustomed to being the responsible one that stepping in has become automatic.

But here's something I've learned about leadership:

Accountability and compassion are not opposites.

You can care about someone and still expect them to do their job.

You can understand that someone is struggling and still have a conversation about performance.

You can give someone another chance without pretending the first problem never happened.

And you can allow someone to experience a consequence without being cruel.

In fact, sometimes the consequence is where the learning happens.

Think about it.

If I miss every deadline but someone quietly fixes everything before anyone notices…

What exactly have I learned?

    That deadlines don't matter?

        That somebody else will handle it?

            That my work eventually becomes someone else's problem?

We've protected the person from failure.

But we may also have protected them from growth.

That's the part I think leaders especially need to wrestle with.

Our job isn't to make sure the people around us never struggle.

Our job is to help them become capable of handling the struggle.

There's a difference between:

“I'll do it for you.”

and

“I'll help you figure out how you're going to do it.”

The first solves today's problem.

The second develops tomorrow's employee.

That's coaching.

Ask questions.

• “What happened?”
• “What got in the way?”
• “What are you going to do differently?”
• “What support do you need?”
• “How are you going to get this back on track?”

Notice what's missing?

“Don't worry. I'll take care of it.”

And here's another uncomfortable truth for leaders:

When you repeatedly cover for poor performance, the rest of the team notices.

Your strongest performers especially notice.

    They're meeting deadlines.

        They're carrying their responsibilities.

            They're solving their problems.

                And they're watching someone else repeatedly drop the ball without consequences.

Eventually they stop asking:

“Why isn't that person performing?”

And start asking:

“Why is our leader allowing it?”

That's when an individual performance problem becomes a culture problem.

Because what leaders repeatedly tolerate eventually becomes part of the standard.

That doesn't mean we stop helping people.

Far from it.

People have bad weeks.

Life happens.

Emergencies happen.

Good employees stumble.

Teams should absolutely support one another.

But there's a difference between someone who needs help and someone who has learned that help will always arrive before accountability does.

So here's what I'm thinking about over coffee this Thursday:

Maybe being a good leader isn't always catching the ball.

Sometimes it's letting the person who dropped it pick it back up.

Stand beside them.

    Coach them.

        Give them the tools.

            Help them understand what went wrong.

                But let the responsibility stay where it belongs.

Because there's something worse than allowing someone to experience a small failure:

Teaching them that someone else will always prevent it.

Support people.

    Believe in people.

        Give people grace.

            But don't confuse grace with removing accountability.

And if you're the person who's always rescuing everyone else, ask yourself one question before you pick up the next ball:

Am I helping them succeed... or am I helping them avoid learning how to succeed without me?

Sometimes leadership means stepping in.

And sometimes…

leadership means resisting the urge to rescue. 

Leadership is leading with strength and showing your team that you believe in living on purpose. 

Happy Monday all,

-srt

#ThursdayThoughts #CoffeeAndConversation #Leadership #Accountability #DevelopPeople #WorkplaceCulture #ProfessionalDevelopment #ReaCoachingandConsulting

The Next 100 Starts Now: Lindsey Graves Leads Lincoln Rotary Forward

Lindsey Graves, Rotary President, and Stacy Rea Thomas, Past President, Soroptimist International of Lincoln 2024–2026 Coffee Conversation

For more than a century, the Rotary Club of Lincoln has been part of the fabric of this community. Now, as the club looks toward what comes next, President Lindsey Graves is asking members to think beyond the milestone.

Her theme is both a celebration and a challenge:

The Next 100 Starts Now
Honoring Our Legacy. Building Our Future.

For Graves, the next century of Rotary is not simply about continuing what has always been done. It is about strengthening relationships, creating meaningful opportunities for members to serve, and getting out into the community to ask an important question:

How can we help?

“Community doesn’t happen automatically,” Graves said. “We create it by showing up for each other.”

That philosophy reflects both her personal story and the path that brought her to Rotary.

From Volunteer to President

Graves is a wife and mother of two, daughter Ava and son Dillon, and has a professional background in project and program management. Her husband, Josh, has been a Rotarian for 18 years and is now President Elect, but Lindsey’s own path into Rotary developed through service.

She had already spent years volunteering, including work supporting domestic violence programs and shelters. When she became involved with Lincoln Rotary, she started where many volunteers do: she found a place where she could help.

She worked on the club’s website. Then fundraising. Then another opportunity came along.

And another.

Graves did not join Rotary intending to become its president. Her leadership journey developed much more organically. She kept saying yes. Yes to serving. Yes to taking responsibility. Yes to helping where she was needed. And eventually, yes to leading.

What kept drawing her in was the welcoming feeling she found within Rotary and the realization that the organization could turn a desire to help into tangible action.

That might mean distributing food at The Salt Mine. It could be placing a bicycle into the hands of a child, supporting Stand Up Placer, or simply asking what other organization in the community needs Rotary’s help.

Graves remembers hearing one particular story that transformed her passion for people into a desire for action. It reinforced something she now brings to her presidency: caring about people matters, but meaningful change happens when that caring moves us to do something.

Relationships Before Projects

Graves participated in the Leadership Lincoln Class of 2025–2026, an experience that reinforced for her the importance of relationships in building a strong community.

That lesson now shapes one of her priorities for Rotary.

Get into the community. Build relationships. Listen. Then determine how Rotary can help.

It is also reflected in another message guiding her leadership:

Connecting Hearts. Igniting Change.

For Graves, those ideas belong together.

“We can create change,” she said. “We can truly ignite change by connecting our hearts.”

And change, she believes, often begins with individual acts.

Hand a hot dog to a hungry child. Give a child a new bicycle. Pack food for a family. Support another nonprofit doing important work.

Those are the moments when Graves wants members to understand the significance of belonging to Rotary.

This happened because I am a Rotarian.

Making Membership Meaningful

With approximately 70 members, Lincoln Rotary is a strong club, but Graves is clear that the door is open. New members are welcome, and building membership is an important part of preparing for the next 100 years.

Her goal, however, is not growth simply for the sake of numbers.

She wants members to feel valued, connected and invested.

“When you belong to a service club, you want to know your time and talents are making a meaningful contribution,” she explained.

One way Lincoln Rotary is doing that is by strengthening the experience for new members. New Rotarians move through a mentor program as they progress from a red badge to a blue badge. As part of that journey, members learn about Rotary, become involved in service and begin developing what Graves calls their own Rotarian story.

New members also have an opportunity to select a service project they would like to see supported, giving them an early voice in how Rotary makes an impact.

It is a deliberate approach designed to move people from simply joining an organization to feeling that they belong to it.

A Different Kind of Rotary Meeting

That same philosophy is changing how members spend their time together.

Rather than structuring every Thursday gathering in exactly the same way, the club now creates different opportunities throughout the month.

Two meetings each month feature speakers. The second Thursday includes an evening mixer, creating a more social opportunity to build relationships and hear from local voices. A fourth meeting may become a business and committee work session or a hands on service day, such as working on Rotary’s Adopt a Road commitment along Lincoln Boulevard.

The idea is straightforward: Rotary should not only talk about service. Members should have opportunities to actually do it.

Membership dues support the administrative operation of the club, while Rotary’s larger structure also provides opportunities to pursue regional grants that can multiply the impact of local efforts.

Service From Lincoln to the World

The scope of Rotary service stretches from Lincoln neighborhoods to communities around the world.

Locally, members support organizations and projects addressing food insecurity, children, families and community needs. Through World Community Service, Lincoln Rotary supports initiatives such as ShelterBox and Rotary’s longstanding international effort to eradicate polio.

Youth are also an important part of the club’s future.

Interact programs at Lincoln High School and Twelve Bridges High School give students opportunities to experience service and leadership themselves. Graves hopes to strengthen connections between the high school clubs as they help deliver One Day, 100 Ways, Rotary’s community wide service effort in April.

The club’s major fundraising events also make much of that service possible. Tour de Lincoln returns October 17, followed by Lincoln Wine Fest on April 24.

Behind all of it is an organizational structure that keeps service moving. Lincoln Rotary’s board includes leadership for fundraising and community service, youth service, administrative services, world community service, membership and the Rotary Foundation, along with the President, President Elect and Past President.

Honoring the Past While Building What Comes Next

Lincoln Rotary’s history runs deep.

The club has met at the Woman’s Club of Lincoln throughout its existence, a tradition connecting generations of Rotarians. Even Rotary’s familiar wheel is rooted in its early connection to business and professional life.

But Rotary itself has evolved.

Women began joining Rotary clubs in the United States in the late 1980s, with Rotary International formally opening membership to women worldwide in 1989. In Lincoln, Kris Wyatt became the club’s first female president, helping pave the way for women like Graves to lead today.

That combination of history and evolution may be the best way to understand Graves’ vision for the future.

The traditions matter. The history matters. But organizations remain relevant when they continue asking what their communities need now.

After 100 years, Lincoln Rotary is still asking that question.

And under Lindsey Graves’ leadership, the answer begins not with a fundraiser, a committee or even a project.

It begins with a relationship.

Show up. Listen. Connect. Find out where you can help. Then do something.

Because, as Graves sees it, community is something we create together.

One relationship. One bicycle. One meal. One project. One act of service at a time.

The first 100 years created a legacy.

The Next 100 Starts Now.

//End

Coach Them. Don’t Carry Them.

Being helpful and being responsible for someone else's responsibilities are not the same thing.

That's a boundary many high performers struggle with.

A coworker misses a deadline.

    You jump in.

Someone forgets an important task.

    You take care of it.

A teammate drops the ball.

    You pick it up because you know the work still has to get done.

Once?

That's teamwork.

But when it happens over and over again, something changes.

Their responsibility quietly becomes yours.

And because you're dependable, you keep doing it.

Because you care about the team.

Because you don't want the customer affected.

Because explaining the problem sometimes takes longer than just fixing it yourself.

I get it.

But here's your Monday challenge:

Stop automatically rescuing people from problems they are capable of solving themselves.

Help them find the answer.

Coach them through the problem.

Clarify expectations.

Give them the tools they need to succeed.

But don't automatically take ownership of the work simply because you're capable of doing it.

Sometimes people need to feel the weight of their own commitments.

Sometimes the missed deadline needs to belong to the person who missed it.

Sometimes accountability is the very thing that helps someone grow.

So, this week, before automatically saying:

“I'll take care of it.”

Pause.

Ask yourself:

Am I helping this person become more capable ... or am I simply making it easier for them to remain dependent on me?

There's a big difference.

Support people. Coach people. Help people.

But don't confuse carrying someone else's responsibilities with being a great teammate.

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do…

        is hand the ball back.

Remember, lead with strength and live on purpose.

Have a great Monday lovelies. 

-srt

#MondayMotivation #Leadership #Accountability #ProfessionalGrowth #WorkplaceCulture #DevelopPeople #ReaCoachingandConsulting