Friday, September 1, 2006

The Amazing Mr. Nibbles - Tale of the Hairy Houdini Hamster

Dedication
This seven chapter blog is dedicated to Devon for without his diligence and bloody sacrifice Mr. Nibbles would not have come home with us. Instead, he would be the subject of the next Stephen King book.

Introducing the Characters
Brandon: Eight-year-old responsible pet owner to a pet hamster called Mr. Nibbles. Brandon is smart, cute and funny…but enough about him already.
Mr. Nibbles: Believed to be a vegetarian, Mr Nibbles is a fuzzy black bear hamster with an uncanny ability to escape from any cage, any time, any where.
Devon: Five-year-old brother to Brandon. A potential candidate for the TV series, Fear Factor, where contestant have to overcome their fears by eating weird animal parts and having live tarantulas crawl on their heads. Devon is as brave as can be. He once picked up a King Snake, the size of his forearm, without thinking and then got excited after it bit him on the wrist.
Justin: Not too unlike Devon, three-year-old Justin has two loves: eating fries and squeezing animals. No, really, once caught him with Powers in a death grip no one would have been able to escape from. Lucky Brandon walked in when he did or Powers would have his neck stretched to three inches long.
Powers: A very intelligent gray and white jumbo rat. Brandon’s beloved pet who lived four years in a lizard cage before passing away in his sleep.
Mom: Sometimes more harsh than her kids can handle, but she makes a great cup of hot chocolate.
Harry Houdini: Harry Houdini was the greatest magician of all time. He was world-famed for his escapes from bonds of every sort–locks, handcuffs, straitjackets, and sealed chests underwater.

CHAPTER 1: Where, Oh Where, Is Mr. Nibbles?

Hello, my name is Brandon and, boy, do I have a story to tell you. This morning while I was getting ready for school, Mom screamed at me from downstairs in the kitchen. NOTE to readers: When I say "scream" I mean "scream". You know, that full belly scream that causes the hair on the back of your neck to stand straight up. The last time I heard that scream was when I called 9-1-1 just to see what would happen. How was I to know that the people at 9-1-1 could trace the location of the call and call back? Boy, was Mom surprised when 9-1-1 dispatch called her back. After a few "screams" she said I should know better considering Dad is a Firefighter. Nonetheless, back to the story.
"Brandon, where is Mr. Nibbles?" She yelled.
"In his cage," I yelled back.
"Brandon, are you sure he is in his cage?" She questioned.
Not really knowing why she didn’t believe me the first time, I looked at Mr. Nibbles cage there was nothing out of the ordinary. His bed area was crammed full of the toilet paper I had put in there earlier in the week. Confident he was sleeping in that mess, I replied with sarcasm, "Yes Mom, I am sure he is in his cage."
"Brandon Davies. Look IN his cage. Is he there?" She replied sternly. This time, knowing she knew something that I apparently did not know, I decided to actually look into Mr. Nibbles’ cage. I peered over the top of his yellow exercise ball. You know the ball that normal hamster use to run off excess steam. My hamster, round and hairy, slept in it. I kind of thought he felt like he was sleeping outside or maybe he thought he was burning calories by merely lying in his exercise ball. Mr. Nibbles was NOT in his exercise ball. I looked over the green body of the cage. Pine shavings lined the cage along with his food bowl and some scattered hamster droppings. Mr. Nibbles was NOT in the cage. Finally, in a panic, I looked at the long tube leading from the bottom of the cage to the top of the cage. A small yellow box with a green lid used for hamster travel was attached at the top. Mr. Nibbles was NOT in the travel box, nor was he in the tube.
In fact, Mr. Nibbles was NOT anywhere he was supposed to be. Knowing that my mother was expecting a response, I walked to the top of the staircase and said, "Um…Mom….Mr. Nibbles has escaped again."

CHAPTER 2: The Great Escape…or the Great Escapes

You see, Mr. Nibbles is not an ordinary hamster. He is the Amazing Hairy Houdini Hamster. At least twice a week, we find Mr. Nibbles somewhere else then his cage. Once we found him in the playroom behind a box of blocks. Another time, he was in the downstairs bathroom. Imagine the surprise of having Mr. Nibbles pop out of the bathroom closet while I was sitting on the toilet. Mom once found him in the dining room behind the china cabinet. She was expecting company in the evening and was relieved to find him before Mr. Nibbles found them. And, my five-year-old brother, Devon, once found him in the laundry room hiding out behind the washing machine. It was not unusual for Mr. Nibbles to escape. In fact, we had tried numerous contraptions to discourage Mr. Nibbles from escaping.

CHAPTER 3: The Great Cage Dilemma

Originally, Mr. Nibbles lived in a lizard’s cage. Of course, no lizard could escape the cage, but Mr. Nibbles could. In fact, this cage once housed the brightest of rats. My pet rat, Powers, could not escape the cage despite several attempts at freedom. A bite here, a nip there, a leg-up at the precise place and Mr. Nibbles would have escaped again. We moved him into a normal hamster cage. A cage even Mom had trouble getting into, but he escaped. Finally, we sentenced him to a home, which I lovingly called the plastic jail cell. Of course, it was not. It was a state-of-the-art hamster condominium complete with exercise wheel, travel box and attachable tunnels.

CHAPTER 4: Back to the Story – Part I

As I walked down the staircase, I could tell from the expression on Mom’s face that something was terribly wrong.
"Mr. Nibbles is dead," she said mournfully.
"He is dead?" I questioned. I could not believe it to be true.
I thought for a minute more. Somehow, the thought of Mr. Nibbles being dead didn’t make sense.
"Where is his body?" I asked.
"In the trashcan," Mom replied sadly.
"In the trashcan?" I asked.
"Yes, Brandon," she replied. She then added, "He is too big to flush down the toilet."
Looking at Mom, I realized that it was Mr. Nibbles’ good fortune he was round and hairy. After all, a water funeral did not fit him in the least.
He hated water.
I know because my other brother, Justin, at the age of two had once tried to give him a bath. The water-soaked Mr. Nibbles didn’t quite recover to his normal self for weeks. During that time, there was not one single escape effort.

CHAPTER 5: How Mr. Nibbles Got Named

Now, I just realized that I have neglected to tell you how the name Mr. Nibbles came about.
You see, my beloved rat, Powers had just died when Mom decided to take Devon and I to the pet store for a new rat.
Looking at the rats, I just couldn’t bear it. No rat could replace my Powers.
Just as I decided not to get a new pet, I spotted a black, furry animal peering at me from behind a bed of pine shavings. He had big ears, beady eyes and was burrowing quite aggressively in the plastic cage.
He was making a mess of the pine shavings and he looked up at me he had pine all over his nose and head. Little did I e finally were assisted, the pet store attendant asked if I
wanted to hold him. I did really badly, but Mom said since it was going to be MY pet, I should let Devon hold it first.
Devon put his hand in the cage. He picked up the hamster slowly. As he got the hamster into the palm of his hand, he screamed. Blood gushed from the tip of his finger as he yelled, "It bit me!"
You can imagine my surprise as blood dripped onto the floor of the pet store. This was no ordinary hamster, it was a blood sucking hampire. Mom told the attendant to take the hamster back, but my brother cried and asked if we could keep it. To be honest, I didn’t want it.
Hamsters were soft and fuzzy. They were friendly. They didn’t take off the top of your
finger with one swift nip. Mom told Devon we couldn’t keep the "rabid thing". But, my brother had guts. He cried and told Mom he LOVED that hamster. He made desperate promises to get his way, "I will feed it. Pet it. Clean the cage. I will do anything for the hamster," he whined.
I am not sure what Mom was thinking. Potentially, she was still overwhelmed by the pool of blood on the pet store floor. But, whatever it was, I was not prepared for what happened next.
Mom looked at the attendant, who now donned a pair of gloves (big enough to ward off a Mountain Lion) in an attempt to avoid being bitten like Devon, and asked about the return policy.
"Three days, mam," he responded.
Mom looked at my brother and I and said, "Okay you guys have three days. If that thing bites you again, we are bringing it back. Okay?"
Devon’s head shook up and down vigorously. I, on the other hand, was thinking my brother was not very smart. You know not the brightest crayon in the box, not the fastest rabbit in the forest and definitely, a few fries short of a happy meal. Get my drift?
The attendant boxed up the hamster and suggested we might want to give it some "alone time" when we get home.
Did I mention I consider myself an intelligent boy? This whole time I was trying to determine what Mom was thinking, I was also figuring out how I was going to care for an animal I would never touch. After all, do you think that I was going to attempt to touch that thing? No way. Devon was already white as snow due to excessive blood loss. No body part of mine was going near that hamster.
While I waited in line, Devon suggested we name the hamster that had been determined to be a boy, Pikachu. As a joke, I suggested the name Nibbles. But, it wasn’t taken as a joke. Instead, the hamster’s name became Mr. Nibbles. And, you don’t want to mess with Mr. Nibbles.
Mom put Mr. Nibbles in his cage and told Devon and I not to touch him for 24 hours. Like I needed that direction. As I mentioned above, no hand, no foot, no leg, no head, was venturing near the hamster cage.
Devon, on the other hand, was quite gullible. When I told him Mr. Nibbles looked lonely and needed to be held, he looked into the cage and said, "Yes, he does look sad."
I watched in terror as my fearless brother put his hand into Mr. Nibble’s cage. I expected to hear screams of terror and watch only a bloody stump emerge. Moments later, my younger brother was holding the hamster and talking to it in baby talk.
Apparently by now, you have realized that Mr. Nibbles was not really a blood sucking hampire. He was, in fact, a well-mannered hamster when you got to know him. And, cross my heart – hope to die, I tell you that Mr. Nibbles never bit again.

CHAPTER 6: Frog Shaped Chicken Nuggets?

Now, where did I leave off? Oh yeah, the trashcan.
When Mom told me about throwing Mr. Nibbles in the trashcan, I couldn’t believe it.
First, I couldn’t quite believe Mr. Nibbles was dead and second, because the trashcan didn’t seem fitting for such a wonderful hamster.
"Mom, can I look at him?" I asked.
"No," she said. "He is in the outdoor trashcan."
Now, the outdoor trashcan was parked on the side of the house. It was a very large black garbage can we managed to fill to the brim every week. This being Thursday, the trashcan would be at it’s fullest.
"Mom, please. I need to see him," I begged as tears started to roll from my eyes.
"No, Brandon," she replied. "You don’t need to see him."
Now, Mom was always a realist. She never hid things from me. Although, sometimes, I wish she would have.
For example, one time my brother had stepped on a frog, a cute little tree frog, killing it instantly. Mom picked it up and was about to fling it over the fence when I screamed, "It isn’t dead!" "Yes, it is," she replied matter-of-factly. "See?"
I don’t know about you, but a squished green tree frog with its insides on the outsides is not appealing to even the grossest of kids.
"Dinner time!" She then yelled.
Imagine the joy of eating dinner after this. Especially dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with ketchup. To me, at least, they looked more like frogs than dinosaurs.

CHAPTER 7: Back to the Story – Part II

Desperate to see Mr. Nibbles, I reached deep inside myself and used a pathetic, whimpering look combined with a whining, sobbing voice and asked, "Then how do I know Mr. Nibbles is really dead?"
"Alright already," Mom said and headed toward the back door.
I followed her. I was fully prepared to see Mr. Nibbles, confirm he was dead and mourn him properly.
Mom lifted up the garbage can lid. She shuffled through some papers lying on top. She then shuffled through some papers on the side. At one point, I heard her say, "I put him right here."
"Brandon, get my gardening gloves for me," She commanded. "They are in the top drawer on my potting table."
I walked towards the potting table slowly. I didn’t know anymore if it was important to actually see Mr. Nibbles body. As I opened the top drawer of Mom’s potting table, I decided it wasn’t important. I didn’t need to see the body. Mr. Nibbles was dead and I had to deal with it.
As I turned to walk back to Mom, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned to focus in the area of the movement and saw something rustling in the green of the fern. Just then, to my surprise, Mr. Nibbles popped his head out of the plant. He then stood on his two feet and gave a small squeak.
"Today would be nice Brandon," Mom yelled from the garbage can referring to my slow return with the gloves.
Mr. Nibbles was staring at me intensely. Looking deep into his eyes, it was then that I realized he had succeeded on making the greatest escape ever.
You see, Mr. Nibbles progressed each time he escaped. The first couple of times, he only managed to escape from the cage. The next series of attempts landed him downstairs. His problem was he hadn’t figured out a way to get outside. Until now.
I looked at Mr. Nibbles, smiled and finally understood the true meaning of being free.
"I love you," I said. "Be safe in this big world and come back whenever you want." With that Mr. Nibbles winked, then squeaked and ran off into the brush.
I walked back to Mom. I looked at her red cheeks and soiled business suit and said, "Mom, I don’t need to see the body. Mr. Nibbles is dead."
She kissed me on the head and took me inside where she made me the biggest cup of Hot Chocolate. We talked and laughed about the Amazing Mr. Nibbles – The Hairy Houdini Hamster.

1 comment:

Devon said...

i know what you mean mom.i[devon]didnt expect my finger to be swept off by mr nibbles. but when i look at mr nibbles he was SO adorable.so i couldnt leave him. LOVE
YOU!