What We Can Learn From The Porcupine. A Fable.

My Mom sent me an email the other day which included a story about the porcupine. I read it, then deleted it and went on my day. Later, it kept surfacing in my thoughts. It went something like this:

It was the harshest winter ever known to man. Many of the forest animals died because of the extreme cold and lashing winds. 

The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together so that they would be covered and protected from the extreme temperatures. But upon huddle, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

One by one, they began to focus on the quills and soon forgot the heat they were sharing. Finally, one porcupine said, “I would rather be cold than be pricked!” And she moved away from the group. Others nodded fervently and they too decided to distance themselves one from the other.

The first porcupine who left the group, relieved that she no longer was being poked, started to grow very cold and fell into a deep sleep and then died alone and frozen.   Others seeing this, panicked as they watched their friends who had separated die one-by-one. They realized they had a choice, either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.  Wisely, they decided to go back to being together.

Through this they learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companion while enjoying the heat that came from the others. And, they survived.  

Now, my mom gave me a moral to the story that I can’t repeat to this kind audience. Instead, I would argue the true moral is that the best relationship is not the one that brings  together ‘perfect’ people, but the best is when each individual can admire the other person's good qualities and live with the imperfections. After all, we are all just human and even the best of us prone to mistakes.

In the spirit of true thankfulness, I would encourage anyone who is holding a grudge to let it go. Forgive and move forward. If you have wronged someone, be accountable for your actions, say you are sorry and move on. Release the weight of the luggage you carry, keeping only the lesson as a memory, so that your head and heart will be lighter on your journey.  
Thank you for letting me share,
~stacy

Rebound with Enthusiasm

“Action is the foundational key to all success.” - Pablo Picasso
In last weeks thought grenade, I shared how fear of failure is the root cause of so many failed ideas. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage,” Dale Carnegie had said. Imagine the deer in the headlights effect, fear drives people of action to freeze dead in their tracks. Only the deer that is quick on its feet and has its wits, will break out of the paralysis and bounce out of the car’s headlights and out of harms way.

“Do, or do not. There is no try.” - Jedi Master Yoda
If you are a Star Wars fan, Yoda’s words to Luke when he wasn’t trusting the power of the force are a good reminder of our choice for action or inaction. If Luke hadn’t embraced Yoda’s thinking, Luke would be stuck in the swamp and the movie would not have created the Lucas Star Wars dynasty that exists today. While my husband says the last paragraph was a bit dramatic, I would add this...what would Star Wars be if Luke did not fulfill his dynasty? He would have squandered his talent away. (and, wouldn’t Leia still be trapped on the death star?)

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure” - George Edward Woodberry
Taking it another step further, if you believe that failure is part of living. And, if you live your life to the fullest, there is no question about it, you will make mistakes. You will enter into ventures that don’t succeed. You will throw out your best ideas only to have them fall flat. You will be unprepared at a critical moment. You will overreact and you might even offend.

Richard Carlson, Author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff writes, “I've yet to meet a person who is exempt from these oh-so-human facts of life. So, perhaps the most important question isn’t so much whether or not you will mess up, but rather how quickly you can recover when you do.”

If we aren’t exempt from our own humanness, it is inevitable that we will make mistakes. We will have setbacks. We might even make those problems into much larger problems because of our lack of ownership or accountability or maybe our sense of rightness. I think some of my bigger faux pauxs have occurred because I ignored the problem or avoided addressing the misunderstanding. In one case specifically, I trivialized the act making someone feel very insignificant and found out later it was huge disappointment to them.
But, there is hope. Because It is how you deal with these things which determines what happens next. I say recover quickly and rebound with enthusiasm.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
Recovering quickly involves the recognition that something is wrong coupled with the insight that what is wrong might be your fault and if so admitting it, apologizing for your involvement in it and moving on. If it isn’t your fault, recall the old adage which says “To err is human, to forgive is divine,” then forgive, let go and move on.
Rebounding with enthusiasm isn’t forgetting the event happened, but using it as a foundation in learning. Malcolm Forbes agrees with this. After all, he is quoted as saying, “failure is success if you learn from it.”

Despair.com has a wall calendar that includes a picture of a ship sinking. The tag is Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. After I laughed and realized how very wrong it was, I had another thought. As student on this planet called Earth, we all learn a thing or two from our failures and what a very human gift to allow others to learn from our mistakes.

Thank you for letting me share,
~stacy

Incite Ideas

Have you had one of those days when you wake up and ideas come at you so fast you struggle to capture them all? Or how about when you are stuck in traffic and a great idea hits you? When that happens to you, what do you do?


If you are like many people, you do nothing or maybe you tell yourself that when you get home you will write that idea down, but then home comes and you have now forgotten the main premise of the idea or lost it entirely. Or, are you the type of person when those insightful nuggets start coming, you pull the car over to grab a pen, or get your voice recorder out and let the words flow or you simply grab a pad of paper and start scribbling ideas, thoughts, doodles while still in your pajamas.

Facing facts, it is a sad reality that only a small percentage of ideas ever take flight. they don’t get traction due to fear, or because of need for perfection or the idea person doesn’t know how to package, market and sell the idea. In the simplest of terms...fear, confinement or lack of passion will ground ideas. And worse case scenario, your really good idea ends up someone else’s really good idea and you watch in slow motion as it is presented on the shopping channel or as the award transfers hands.

FEAR > COURAGE

“As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”- Marianne Williamson
Amazing to believe that fear is the root cause of so many failed dreams. People allow fear to drive their decisions for many reasons. Whether it is fear of failure or reputation or loss of money, fear eats away at what we are so tightly trying to hold on to and protect. Fear drives people of action to freeze dead in their tracks. Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Marianne Williamson has another thought about fear. She says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” Imagine being all that you are and allowing others to do the same while you have the courage to push an idea forward.

CONFINEMENT > HOPE
“Success represents the one per cent of your work which results from the 99 per cent that is called failure." -Soichiro Honda
Idea People who are unwilling to fail or who are consumed with perfection will find it hard to let ideas take flight. Much like an airplane, wings and an engine allow it to fly. An idea is the same. If confined, the idea will stay grounded. But given wings and a push, it has the ability to catch wind and achieve flight. I say ability, because wings and a push doesn’t guarantee success. However, wings, a push, hope and willingness to fail are the primary ingredients for success. Failure ROCKS not just because it makes success sweeter, but because failure means you are trying. And, who knows better than the most creative of thinkers? Henry Ford said "Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." And, IBM's own Thomas Watson said, "If you want to succeed, double your failure rate."


INCITE > PASSION
(v) To stir, encourage, or urge on; stimulate or prompt to action: to incite a crowd to riot.
Type incite into google and you will get a host of responses from the definition to joining groups to [you name it]. Everyone of them is urging the reader to take some form of action. Things happen quickly and, with ideas, speed is a virtuous circle. Per Steven Baylay, Hewlett-Packard makes the majority of its earnings from products that didn't exist last year. Once the simple ability to manufacture guaranteed competitive advantage. That's no longer so. Anything can be made anywhere; the world is flat. Instead, the ability to generate ideas has replaced manufacturing as the engine of the economy.” Add onto that speed, the ability to influence and drive something towards adoption. I read somewhere that idea generators were unpredictable, quixotic and completely unsuited for the business environment. While that might have been true about Bob Dylan (“I follow no one”) or Miles Davis (“I’ll play it first and tell you what it’s about later”), there are many individuals in the workplace with unconventional wisdom who are sparking ideas on a variety of levels and scale each and every day.

Wrapping up, My wish for each of you is to not let fear, naysayers, need for perfection, inability to let go or inability to incite others make you stop. live life as it is meant to be… fearless, full of gusto, with determination and desire. Let your ideas flood the workplace. Incite others through your passion. And, on the days where life attacks you “several days all at once” and you are discouraged or challenged, think of what Teddy Roosevelt said a long, long time ago:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is not effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Living life in the arena,
~stacy

Listen to Your Inclination

Inclination [In-kluh-ney-shuh n] - noun : A disposition or bent, esp. of the mind or will; a liking or preference

In the 20 Century Fox movie Knight and Day (2010), the two main characters are on a plane having a friendly conversation. The character played by Cameron Diaz starts talking about the things she will do “someday”. The character played by Tom Cruise responds “Someday. That’s a dangerous word. It’s really just a code for ‘never’.

It is a sobering belief, to believe that all of the items on your bucket list are merely there in fantasy and will never take form.

Turning “someday” from disbelief to hope, Rob Thomas uses another form of expression to convey the power of choice in the song “Someday”. He sings, “’cause maybe someday we’ll figure all this out. We’ll put an end to all our doubt. Try to find a way to just feel better now . And maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud. We’ll be better off somehow. Someday.”

So, how does one make ‘someday’ thinking become ‘today’ thinking? It seems like such an easy thing to do. Maybe too simple, in fact. One manner is to allow yourself to let your inclinations drive your actions.

Now, you probably noticed I used the word inclination versus instinct or dreams or… I like the word inclination as it paints a picture for me of bent, lean, bias, tendency, propensity, and predilection. It makes me feel that if there were no limitations, natural gravity would push us there.

Seth Godin, the author of the book, Linchpin, believes there is a new type of team member appearing around the world. They aren’t managers, they aren’t labor, they are indispensible and they guide their actions with their gut.

Driving based on their inclinations, these individuals Godin calls the “linchpins”. He says linchpins “invent, lead (regardless of title), connect, make things happen, and create order out of chaos.” He goes on to say they are indispensible because they truly enjoy what they do, “pour their best selves into it” and turn each day into a unique experience for their customers, management and peers.

“Every day, I meet people who have so much to give but have been bullied enough or frightened enough to hold it back. It’s time to stop complying with the system and draw your own map,” says Godin.

Listening to your inclination …
· allows you to follow your morale compass in decisioning.
· affords you to drive forward without a rule book.
· Helps you find shortcuts that others can’t see.
· Lights paths in relationship building because people see you as authentic.
· Gives you the tools to draw your own map.
· rids you of the resistance that holds others back.

You have brilliance in you. The work you do is essential. What you bring to work every day is precious. It is uniquely yours, only you can do what you do, and per Godin (and me!) you must.

Thank you for letting me share,
~Stacy

Knight and Day @20 Century fox 2010
“Someday” written by Rob Thomas, Shy Carter, Matt Serletic @2009
Linchpin written by Seth Godin @Do You Zoom, Inc., 2010

We tried that before, it will never work.

In assisting a Twitter connection get beyond a work obstacle where a colleague continues to say “we tried that before, it will never work.” Interestingly, in reading them and sending them off, I realized that the dialogue might be valuable to a broader audience as well.

I share with you a slightly abridged copy of the email I sent him:

Goodness, I have both been a victim of the line….but also embarrassed to admit that I probably have used the line once or twice. I have been very aware this past year of not saying “no, can’t be done”, but in asking “why?” to understand and then trying to come back with “how would we do it?” for win/win.

But back to your question of what do I do when someone says, “we tried that before, it will never work.” Simply, I am driven to prove that it will work. Not to prove the other wrong, but heck a challenge is a challenge. How do I do prove something will work? I begin to ask questions to learn why the naysayer believes it can’t work. I then try to use the stool (people – process – technology) and the inevitable truth in CHANGE to build the case of why it might work now and what it will take to change the “might” to “will”. A few times, I have found out through this approach that it really won’t work. Ackward? No. And I do thank the naysayer for helping me draw this conclusion.

Now, some of the naysayers are “all knowing” and I believe their egos won’t allow even logic to break down their resolve. This isn’t a bad thing, I have learned a great deal from people who dig their heels in deep and am appreciative. But, in those cases, I take conversations off line and slowing begin to chip away at the wall of “it will never work” by painting a picture of why it should work and how we (not I) will help the company (not me) if we worked together to make “it” a reality. If you paint the shared value proposition, it is hard for the naysayer to shoot it down (note: I didn’t say impossible, because I have seen all types. But believe that everyone is inherently good inside and wants to do the right thing for themselves and for the company).

Today, with my kids coughing, sneezing and covered with phlegm, I was able to do some reading and did search the web for articles for how to deal with naysayers and obstructionists. In my search, I came across these two Harvard Business Review article. Extremely timely as one was published last Thursday and the other in September.

Rule #1: You must never get sucked into the black hole of "what happened 5 years ago." Read how not to here: http://blogs.hbr.org/kotter/2010/10/getting-past-the-but-we-alread.html
My Margin Note: Are there items that you have put on the table and received a no because we have tried it before? If you are convicted, try – try again. Send them back to the naysayer for reconsideration and ask for counsel from your manager.

Rule #2: Understand the unfair attack strategies that naysayers and obfuscators deploy to derail you. Read about inviting them here: http://blogs.hbr.org/kotter/2010/09/need-buy-in-invite-the-lions-i.html
My Margin Note: Are you struggling with naysayers? When in doubt, escalate. You don’t need to struggle alone and certainly hitting the brick wall over and over again will only frustrate you (as well as leave you bloodied). When struggling with naysayers – don’t go sideways to peers, but up to your management for another perspective. While peers can offer great feedback and new plans of attack, it might also lead to venting and triangulation which will kill your credibility and potentially lead you down another rabbit hole. Go instead UP, but be ready to clearly present your struggle without finger pointing and with a focus on resolve for execution. Is your management not a good fit? Then go to an internal mentor to bounce concept off of. As long as the person is UP and able to assist in pushing idea forward or clearly communicating why the idea might not work.

Hope this helps you navigate through what feels like are some shark infested political waters. If you would like to chat IM me and we can schedule some time during soccer this weekend.

Innovation

Yesterday my calendar pop-up alerted me of an important date in history … the creation of the first ATM. Specifically, the first ATM (albeit not on the network) was introduced to the world via a patent (GB1329964) filed September 1969 (and granted in 1973) by the Burroughs Corporation. Within a few minutes of the pop up, I had a conversation with an architect on the topic of Green IT and was inspired by this individual’s enthusiasm on the topic, his out of the box thinking, and by his motivation to show others WHAT is possible if each one of us alters a few of our behaviors. The two in concert made me think about innovation as related to our core competencies and Extraordinary Leader.

I started to look up the Guiding Principles and found one encouraging team members to “embrace empowerment and improvement”. Smells like innovation, don’t you think?

Next, I started to think about innovation and StrengthsFinders? Three themes are notorious innovators:

• Activators can make things happen by turning thoughts into action.
• Futuristic are inspired by the future and what could be. They inspire others with their visions of the future.
• Ideation people are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.

Innovation and our inner animal? Who can forget that “the sky is the limit” is a key theme for the owls among us. Innovation is also core to the beaver and fox specifically as it relates to “anything is possible, as long as we can execute on it”.

From the book, Extraordinary Leader, some of the behaviors demonstrated for innovation include:

•  Consistently generate creative, resourceful solutions to problems.
• Constructively challenge the usual approach to doing things, and find new and better ways to do the job.
• Champion ingenuity at all levels.
• Generate creative solutions by bringing together the most talented people.
• Work to improve new ideas rather than discourage them.
• Come up with creative, resourceful solutions to problems.
• Create a culture of innovation and learning that drives individual development.
• Provide support and encouragement to others when they attempt to innovate – even when they fail.
• Integrate ideas and inputs from different sources to find innovative solutions.
• Build on other people’s suggestions and ideas.  (Doing so often leads to new approaches and improvements.)

© 2010 Zenger Folkman.  All rights reserved.

Here are some ideas that other leaders identified on how to improve effectiveness in the Innovates competency.

• Every week ask each one of your colleagues to give you an idea on how to look at things differently.
• Conduct brainstorming lunches with teams using market trends.
• Understand the current state of the activity/task and document current and future benchmarks.
• Provide brainstorming and whiteboard sessions to identify options (pros/cons) to meet an objective or reinvent a process.
• Connect with leaders and other resources (websites, journals, etc.) to see current activity and future trends.
• Conduct periodic meetings with partners to challenge what we know.
• Find a team or meeting that’s focused on taking risks; get an invitation to participate.
• As you make innovation a focus, share your successes with your management or offer up at team members for shared learning.

Thank you for letting me share!

~Stacy

Building Relationships

A couple years back, I sent out the book Extraordinary Leader by authors John Zenger and Joseph Folkman to my team with a message about leaving their imprint on the workplace (see post Leaving Your Legacy 11/8/2008). I also explained that the company we work for had adopted the book and associated curriculum in the new leadership model which would assist leaders from around the company develop their full leadership potential.

Within the book, Zenger and Folkman discuss the behaviors of building and maintaining solid relationships. I thought this especially fitting considering the importance of connecting inside and outside the workplace.

From the book, some example of the behaviors demonstrated for builds relationships include:

• Be approachable and friendly.
• Establish rapport easily.
• Be trusted by work group members.
• Handle difficult situations cnstructively and tactfully
• Deal effectively with people in order to get work accomplished
• Balance concern for productivity and results with sensitivity for employees' needs or problems
• Maintain and utilize relationships outside the company through which resources or information can be generated

Below are ideas captured from various leaders on how to improve effectiveness in the building relationships while demonstrating the core competencies of Collaborates and Relationship Savvy.

• Take advantage of informal times to share with key business partners about you and the work our team does.
• Get to know and understand the needs of your business partners well.
• Remember how we all fit together for the common purpose.
• Share the same vision of collaboration with each other and their clients.
• Build trust and establish an effective feedback process.
• Don’t react to feedback defensively. Take a moment to reflect on the words spoken.
• Positive Optimism: Find the positive in someone prior to a meeting/interaction and focus on it.
• Make an effort to learn about your peers and teams.
• Give a personal thank you to peers and partners; Meet to discuss your appreciation.
• Ask partners what support is needed and deliver on their expectations.
• Translate a technical problem and solution into English that everyone can understand.
• Chart out 15-30 minute discussions with customers on your schedule.
• Make networking part of our culture and prioritize it by blocking time for this function.
• Seek a specific project opportunity to partner with a colleague you don’t know well.

As you make building relationships a focus, I would love to hear about your successes with. Email them to me at stacy@ouncecattery.com or stacyth@yahoo.com.

Thank you for letting me share!
~Stacy

Impact of Brief Interactions

First a confession, I tweet. Not a crazy Twitter addict, but certainly I have been known to tweet (i.e. post) random thoughts and quotes into Twitterland.

It all started when a good friend (a professed Twitter addict) mentioned learning through select tweets. I signed up and began following thought leaders on topics such as Lean, Six Sigma, ITIL and various leadership attributes. He was right, Twitter was and is a method of obtaining cutting edge, quick thoughts on a variety of topics.

What I realized quickly was the potential impact of these 140 character tweets. And while my first two months was absorbing the tweets and determine who to following, I did eventually take the leap and start tweeting.

What followed was eye opening. As I started posting random positive thoughts into Twitterland my followers grew. I started with 4 followers and jumped to 46 after week one. Three weeks after, I had surpassed 100 followers with a few being respected poets, authors and thought leaders.

Then, one Saturday, I posted a tweet that maybe, probably, could have been considered a rant. (Okay, fine...if it quacks like a rant, walks like a rant, it is a rant.) What happened next surprised me, one of my followers sent me a direct message that read “stacyrea—not your usual self today?” Talk about being caught in the act and indirectly told to recast myself pronto by means of cyberspace! More than that, these connected events (positive posts = followers compared to negative posts = msg of concern/lost followers) clearly showed me the power of brief interactions to influence and potentially course correct.

It is the next series of events that added additional clarity to my thinking on this topic, because that very night, it was time to start my next book. And the next book on my reading list was How Full is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton.

How Full is Your Bucket? reveals how even the briefest interactions affect your relationships, productivity, and health. The book is organized around a simple metaphor of a dipper and a bucket. It shows you how to increase the positive in your work and your life, while reducing the negative.

The primary author, Tom Rath surfaces the topic of making every moment matter. He says, “Usually, we don’t stop to consider the impact of brief interactions. But we experience literally hundreds of potential turning points in a given day.” Rath continues by pointing out building a culture based on positive impacts (what is right) versus negative impacts (what is wrong). But from my rant example, this is easier to call out and talk about versus making a cultural change. Because an occasional rant happens...right?

StrengthsFinder reminds us that we have been raised into a culture where we focus on what people do wrong versus what people do right. Rath supports by saying, “While this negativity-based approach might have evolved unintentionally, it nevertheless permeates our society at all levels.”

But recognizing that attitude is a personal choice and if we prefer an environment based on positive emotions (which impacts our life span!), then how do we tackle the 20,000 individual moments each day while holding on to the positive elements and allowing the negative to roll off and not stay in our minds? Rath says through frequent, small, positive acts. In fact, he says the magic ratio is 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction.

Enter the Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket (see next post) and increasing positive emotions in your life and others’ lives. The idea is simple: fill others' bucket, you fill your own bucket. But, like all things, just wanting isn’t enough. You must have a plan that is specific and actionable. I plan to pay more attention to “bucket management” as well as the significance of each and every interaction whether it be virtual, using social mediums (Twitter, Blip.fm, Facebook, Linkedin) or just good ‘ole face to face.

Thanks for letting me share.

~stacy

REFERENCES
How Full is Your Bucket. Gallup Press 2009. Rath, Tom. Cllifton, Donald.
StrengthsFinder. 2.0. Gallup Press 2007. Rath, Tom. Cllifton, Donald.

Positive Impact Test (How Full is Your Bucket?)

The Positive Impact Test is from the book, entitled How Full is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton.

1. I have helped someone in the last 24 hours
2. I am an exceptionally courteous person.
3. I like being around positive people.
4. I have praised someone in the last 24 hours.
5. I have developed a knack for making other people feel good.
6. I am more productive when I am around positive people.
7. In the last 24 hours, I have told someone that I cared about her/him.
8. I make it a point to become acquainted with people wherever I go.
9. When I receive recognition, it makes me want to give recognition to someone else.
10. In the last week, I have listened to someone talk through his/her goals or ambitions.
11. I make unhappy people laugh.
12. I make it a point to call each of my associates by the name she/he likes to be called.
13. I notice what my colleagues do at a level of excellence.
14. I always smile at the people I meet.
15. I feel good about giving praise whenever I see good behavior.

The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket (How Full is Your Bucket?)

The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket is from the book, entitled How Full is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton.

"Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it’s empty, we feel awful.

Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people’s buckets—by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions—we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper to dip from others’ buckets—by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions—we diminish ourselves.

Like the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy. Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic.
But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy, and undermines our will. That’s why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts us.

So we face a choice every moment of every day: We can fill one another’s buckets, or we can dip from them. It’s an important choice—one that profoundly influences our relationships, productivity, health and happiness."

My Legacy

I want to live my life so that my children can say I had a set of core values and daily demonstrated them publically and privately.

What a Way to Welcome Spring!

When I heard someone yell Stump was sighted, I rushed downstairs so very excited to look for her in the pond.

What I found however, was my husband looking over our pool and pointing at the deepest end. "She's down there," he said.

Walking to the diving board, I immediately saw the shadow on the bottom of the pool. Definitely frog shaped. Definitely Stump. Definitely Deep. Definitely Cold, Cold Water.

"Brandon!!!" I called.

My 14 year old had stayed home from school sick, but that didn't release him from having to dive into the ice cold water and retrieve my beloved Stump.

As he came up, both hands tightly around Stump I reflected back on summer’s past where retrieving Stump from the pool was a weekly ritual.

Now, four years later - boys older, Stump bigger - I celebrate that Spring is here and Stump has returned (with her very familiar ways). What a beautiful way to welcome Spring!

May your Spring bring you many, many unexpected gifts.

To see pictures of Stump and her return from hibernation, click the link below: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=28831&id=1565754697&l=641f4757a5  

If you don't know who Stump is, click the link below: http://dayinalifeofstacy.blogspot.com/2009/06/what-i-have-learned-from-my-bullfrog.html

Reflections on Bennis' On Becoming a Leader

Over the break, I had picked up and was rereading On Becoming a Leader by Warren Bennis for what felt like first time all over again in preparation for an upcoming Leadership Challenge seminar. Specifically, I was looking for the section where Bennis expands on the differences between leaders and managers.

Unique to this review of the book, I immediately felt a little taken aback by some of the words used to describe the two roles as well as the important relationship that exists between the two roles.

Much like the appreciation we felt when we went through identification of the animal characteristics, I began to evaluate the essential components in both roles and how they compliment—not compete– with each other.

I then went on a Google search to find someone who had read and potentially had a like epiphany. As I searched, I hoped I was not unique in my thinking and—guess what--I was not. In fact, several had the same revelation years before me.

One opinion stuck out in my reading. It was an article entitled “Lead:ology - Leaders Versus Managers: A False Dichotomy” by Michael McKinney and published on June 22, 2009 (see http://dayinalifeofstacy.blogspot.com/2010/04/leadology-leaders-versus-managers-false.html).

McKinney says, “The distinctions made by Bennis are important as they expose two very different and equally valuable mindsets. As each works best in the presence of the other, it is to our advantage that we possess and practice both.”

So, my question to you all is this...How do you see Leaders and Managers? Do you agree with the differences as pointed out by Bennis? Is one better than the other? Why or why not? Which role do you associate yourself to?
Would love to hear your thoughts regarding! Shoot me your thoughts via email or use the comments option on this post.

Thanks for letting me share,
~Stacy

Lead:ology - Leaders Versus Managers: A False Dichotomy

From Lead:ology - Leaders Versus Managers: A False Dichotomy
By Michael McKinney (June 22, 2009)


The 1989 leadership classic On Becoming a Leader by Warren Bennis contains what has become one of the most discussed and frequently misunderstood concepts in leadership literature. I'm referring to, of course, insightful list of twelve differences between leaders and managers:

The manager administers; the leader innovates.
The manager is a copy; the leader is an original.
The manager maintains; the leader develops.
The manager focuses on systems and structure; the leader focuses on people.
The manager relies on control; the leader inspires trust.
The manager has a short-range view; the leader has a long-range perspective.
The manager asks how and when; the leader asks what and why.
The manager has an eye always on the bottom line; the leader has an eye on the horizon.
The manager imitates; the leader originates.
The manager accepts the status quo; the leader challenges it.
The manager is the classic good soldier; the leader is his own person.
The manager does things right; the leader does the right thing.

The distinctions made by Bennis are important as they expose two very different and equally valuable mindsets. As each works best in the presence of the other, it is to our advantage that we possess and practice both. It is through a developed sense of awareness and experience that we are able to determine which mindset we need to employ, relative to what and when.

are you one of the two?

The world will be saved by one or two people at a time. ~ Andre Gide [are you one of the two?] :)

The Checklist Manifesto

READING - The Checklist Manifesto - How to Get Things Right Am reminded that often we overcomplicate things because we are human.

StressBuster List

1 Make a list of non-work activities that you love to do and insist on doing at least one thing from the list every weekend.
2 Accept the reality that there will be stress and don’t let it derail you.
3 Take “real” PTO – stay off your BlackBerry during your official time off.
4 Listen to what your body is telling you and take care of your health first and foremost.
5 Take a clean break after you get home even if you re-engage later. Give yourself a “no-work zone” for at least part of the evening.
6 Don’t let yourself stay at “worst-case scenario.” Recast it so you have realistic options to deal with it.
7 Take pride in being part of a historical event. This size merger may never happen again.
8 Don’t work past a prescribed bedtime.
9 Work from home when possible.
10 Give yourself permission to just “let go” without guilt.
11 Make a list of what you worry about so it gets out of your head (and then throw away the list!)
12 Really let yourself laugh out loud as much as possible.
13 When feeling overwhelmed, break-up the future into smaller, manageable pieces.
14 Reach out to others and recast together – talk it through.
15 Schedule quiet time for creative thinking and problem solving.
16 Accept your own limitations and don’t beat yourself up.
17 When there’s a problem, communicate with those that need to know as quickly as possible and then jointly discuss. Don’t let it fester.
18 When there’s a gap, create a process, follow the process, and then measure success.
19 Exercise – get up and walk during the day.
20 Define your success in small increments.
21 Drop everything and take action on the most stressful issue right away.
22 Have a buddy.
23 Adopt the “24 hour rule” – don’t take any action until the next day.
24 Hit the problem head-on rather than letting it eat you up.
25 To relieve calendar pressures/conflicts, schedule team meetings within your group all at the same time or create drop-in sessions with subject matter experts so they’re not constantly interrupted.
26 Take time to celebrate a success.
27 Volunteer your talents to a worthy cause – it helps give perspective.
28 At the end of a bad day, reach out and express appreciation to someone.
29 When things aren’t going well, look for someone who could benefit from your help and then give to them. This creates a supportive community.
30 Don’t transfer your stress to others, but re-channel the energy.
31 Find perspective by taking a walk around the block or by using some other technique for removing yourself temporarily from the stress or issue.
32 Delegate whenever possible. Make sure you’re not doing someone else’s job.
33 Understand what’s causing the stress. Identify what’s the real feeling (anger, fear, sadness, or even excitement) under the stress so you can deal with the real stuff.
34 Use the energy of the stress to solve the cause of the stress.
35 Don’t let “perfect” get in the way of “good.”
36 Ask for help. It’s encouraged in this team.
37 Find creative ways to get through issues. Open up new options when you feel stuck or it feels hopeless.
38 Do some non-work things with work friends.
39 Find ways to reduce stress and the time spend on chores at home – such as hiring someone to mow the lawn.
40 Hug your children, pets, and loved ones a lot.
41 Create a daily intention for how you want to be that day, how you want to react, and what you want to focus on. You get what you focus on.
42 Think about your legacy or “personal brand.” Ask yourself, “How do I want to be seen by others and therefore how do I want to treat others and respond to their requests?”

Random Thoughts - Sent to me from Nicole

Random Thoughts for Today

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to the ten-page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?) but when I immediately call back it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day " Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Bring Out the Popcorn!

Much like fireworks on the fourth, or cakes with candles for birthdays - Popcorn has always been symbolic of “celebration” for the Rea family. Good grades, sport wins, graduations, holidays... would garner a freshly popped bowl.

Even today, as an adult, when a celebration presents itself you can be
certain that my mom will say, "sounds like a good excuse for popcorn!”

Reflecting on last years accomplishments while building out my MBOs and then
working through each of your individual PPRs, I was filled with great sense of
collective accomplishment and pride for the team.

Join me for a moment of reflection on 2009 and then give yourself a
standing ovation while you celebrate the victories from last year.

Let’s break out the popcorn!

What is the What - Dave Eggers

FINISHED READING: What is the What - Dave Eggers

What is the What is written as an autobiography of Valentino Achak Deng, but authored by the American writer, Dave Eggers.

I picked it up and added it to my book list based on Rob Thomas' recommendation and the song Fire on the Mountain (by Rob Thomas). My thoughts at the time were if a book inspires someone to act (write a song, help a charity, etc...) it should be read.

Summary
Combining fictional and non fictional, Dave Eggers recounts the story of Valentino's journey from Southern Sudan to Atlanta, Georgia. The journey that Valentino takes is mental, physical and grueling. Through it he overcomes all odds but during it faces, death, starvation, disease, cruelty as Sudan faces war all around him. And, just when he gets to refugee camps both in Ethiopia and Kenya and believes some comfort might exist, he quickly realizes comfort doesn't exist in war. It also doesn't truly exist in the states, as he learns when Valentino he answers the door to a woman needing to use the phone and finds himself in the middle of a brutal robbery.