Bend, Don’t Break: The Power of Resilience

Life has a way of testing us.

Sometimes it is subtle. A disappointment, a rejection, a plan that does not work out. Other times it hits like a storm. Loss, failure, betrayal, burnout. In those moments, it can feel like everything is falling apart.

But here is the truth. Resilience is not about never falling. It is about rising every single time you do.

Resilience is the quiet strength that whispers, “Try again.”
It is the decision to keep going when quitting would be easier.
It is choosing growth over bitterness.

And the most beautiful part? Resilience is not something you are born with. It is something you build.

Struggle Is Not the Opposite of Strength

We often mistake resilience for toughness. For pretending things do not hurt. But real resilience is not denial. It is facing pain honestly and still choosing to move forward.

The strongest trees are not the ones untouched by wind. They are the ones that have bent in storms and learned how to stand again.

Every setback teaches something.

Failure teaches refinement.
Rejection teaches redirection.
Loss teaches perspective.
Hardship builds endurance.

Your struggles are not signs of weakness. They are shaping tools.

The Bible often speaks of forty as a season of testing and preparation. Forty days of rain before renewal. Forty years in the wilderness before the promise. Forty days of fasting before ministry began. Forty represents the trial.

But there is always a day after forty.

Resilience is living in your forty without losing faith in day forty-one. It is trusting that seasons of stretching are preparing you for something greater. It is believing that endurance always produces growth.

Resilience Is a Skill

Like a muscle, resilience strengthens with use. You build it when you:

Take responsibility instead of making excuses.
Learn instead of blaming.
Rest instead of quitting.
Ask for help instead of isolating.

Resilience does not mean you will not cry.
It does not mean you will not doubt.
It does not mean you will not feel tired.

It means you refuse to stay down.

Resilience is choosing faith over fear. It is choosing perspective over panic. It is choosing progress even when perfection is nowhere in sight.

The most resilient people ask one powerful question:

“What is this teaching me?”

That question turns pain into purpose.
It turns failure into feedback.
It turns obstacles into strategy.

When you stop asking, “Why is this happening to me?”
And start asking, “How can this grow me?”
Everything changes.

Faith reminds us that testing is never wasted. Experience teaches us that every difficult chapter carries a lesson. Wisdom shows us that growth often comes disguised as hardship.

Day forty one is quiet courage. It is the first step forward after discouragement. It is choosing to believe there is still purpose ahead. It is trusting that the same strength that carried you through the storm will carry you into what is next.

You Are More Capable Than You Think

Think about everything you have already survived.

There were moments you thought you would not get through but you did.
There were days you felt broken, but you kept moving.
There were chapters that hurt but you are still here.

That is resilience.

Not perfection.
Not invincibility.
Persistence.

And every time you choose courage over comfort, you reinforce the truth. You are stronger than your circumstances.

Storms do not last forever. But the strength they build does.

So, when life bends you, do not assume you are breaking. You might just be becoming.

Keep going.

This may be your forty. A season of testing, stretching, and refining. But day forty-one is coming. A season of clarity, strength, and renewed purpose.

And that is the gift of resilience.

Have a marvelous Monday,

-srt

Do. Not. Miss. This. A Year of Presence

This year, my word is present.

I chose it because I realized how often I am physically somewhere but not fully there. Not just because of my phone, although that plays a role. It shows up in quieter ways too. It is sitting in a restaurant and finding myself more engaged in listening to someone else’s conversation than the person across from me. It is bringing my computer along because I just need to finish one thing while my son is trying to tell me about his day. It is thinking about what is next instead of settling into what is now.

It is half listening. Half working. Half showing up.

And I do not want to live a half life.

It is such a gift to give someone your undivided attention. To be fully in a moment. To look someone in the eyes and let them feel that you are really there. No rushing. No drifting. Attention is love in action.

Being present is also about recognizing the little gifts all around us.

• The way light comes through the window of my office in the morning.
• The sound of laughter from another room.
• The ordinary stories that feel small but are actually sacred treasures.
• The way Cali talks to me as we walk the perimeter of the farm.
• The way the clouds form images or the colors stretch across the sky at sunset while the chickens make their way to the coop.

So much of life is made up of these quiet moments, and they are easy to overlook when we are distracted or in a hurry. But they are the moments that anchor us. They remind us we are alive. They are the moments we will one day wish we could step back into.

There is a line from a movie that has been echoing in my head lately: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” It feels almost too simple, but the older I get, the truer it becomes. Life really does move fast. Seasons change. Children grow. Sunsets come and go whether I notice them or not. And I do not want to miss it.

I have started asking myself a different question in the morning. Instead of immediately thinking about everything I need to accomplish, I ask, what does the world have for me today? What beauty is waiting to be noticed? What conversation needs my full attention? What simple moment might become a memory?

This shift feels small, but it is changing me. It is softening me. It is slowing me down in the best way.

I want to fully live this gift of a life I have been given that is already in front of me.

Not someday. Not when things calm down. Not after the work is finished.

Now.

Being present does not mean I will do it perfectly. It means I am aware. It means I am choosing again and again to close the laptop, to look up from the noise, to stay in the conversation, to walk the farm without rushing the steps.

This year I am choosing depth over distraction. Connection over constant motion. Awareness over autopilot.

I do not want to miss what is right in front of me.

I want to be here for it.

Fully.

Present.

Happy Monday Lovelies,

-srt

Discovering Your Ikigai: Finding Purpose at the Intersection of Passion and Meaning

Have you ever found yourself wondering what your true purpose is?

What gets you out of bed in the morning feeling energized, fulfilled, and aligned?

In Japan, there is a beautiful concept that helps people uncover this sense of meaning. It’s called Ikigai.

Ikigai is more than a trendy self-development tool ... it’s a powerful framework for living with clarity, intention, and purpose.

What Is Ikigai?

Ikigai is a Japanese term that translates loosely to “a reason for being.”
It represents the deep sense of purpose that makes life feel meaningful and worth waking up for.

At its core, Ikigai is the intersection of four essential parts of life:

• What you love

• What you are good at

• What the world needs

• What you can be paid for

When these areas overlap, they reveal the sweet spot where passion, talent, service, and sustainability come together.

Why Ikigai Is So Powerful

Ikigai is powerful because it helps people move beyond simply “getting through life” and toward truly living with intention.

Many people feel stuck because they are disconnected from one or more of these areas:

• They may be successful, but not fulfilled

• They may be passionate, but unsure how to turn it into a career

• They may serve others, but feel burned out

• They may have talent, but no clear direction

Ikigai provides clarity by showing that fulfillment isn’t found in just one thing — it’s found in alignment.

My Ikigai: A Personal Example

One of the most meaningful parts of the Ikigai process is seeing how your own experiences, strengths, and passions come together.

Here is my personal Ikigai:

In my diagram, the themes are clear:

• I love helping people feel grounded, supported, and seen

• I’m good at coaching, listening deeply, and guiding transformation

• The world needs more emotional wellness and compassionate leadership

• I can be paid for coaching, teaching, writing, and consulting

At the center of it all is my purpose:

I help people feel grounded, supported, and empowered to create meaningful lives through compassionate coaching and emotional wellness work.

Ikigai as a Compass for Growth

Ikigai isn’t something you find once and never revisit.

It’s a lifelong practice ... a way of checking in with yourself and asking:

• Am I living in alignment with what matters most?

• Am I using my gifts in service of something meaningful?

• Am I creating a life that feels fulfilling and sustainable?

When you discover your Ikigai, you begin to make decisions with greater confidence, direction, and peace.

Your Turn: What Might Your Ikigai Be?

If you’re feeling called to explore your own Ikigai, start by reflecting on these four questions:

• What do I love?

• What am I good at?

• What does the world need?

• What can I be paid for?

Your answers may hold the key to a life that feels deeply aligned.

Ready to Discover Yours?

If you’d like support uncovering your own Ikigai and building a life around your purpose, I’d love to help.

Coaching is a powerful space for clarity, growth, and transformation.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

#ReaCoachingandConsulting #Ikigai #Love #worldneedsyou

Start Messy. Start Scared. Start Now.

We spend so much time waiting for the right moment.

When things feel clearer.
When confidence shows up.
When the plan feels airtight.
When fear finally quiets down.

But here is the truth most people do not want to hear.

That moment rarely comes.

Growth does not begin with certainty. It begins with courage.

So many dreams stall out not because they are impossible, but because we believe we need to feel ready before we begin. We tell ourselves we will start when we know all the steps, feel confident instead of nervous, have the perfect tools or timing, or are sure it will work.

But readiness is a moving target. The more you wait for it, the further away it seems.

Clarity does not come before action.
Clarity comes from action.

Starting messy means giving yourself permission to be imperfect. It means accepting that the first draft will be rough, the first attempt may wobble, and the first version will not be your best.

And that is not a flaw.
It is the process.

Messy beginnings teach you faster than overthinking ever will. They build momentum instead of fear and replace self doubt with real experience. Every expert you admire once stood exactly where you are now.

Starting scared does not mean you are doing it wrong.

Fear is not a stop sign. It is a signal. It often shows up when something matters, when you are stretching beyond what is familiar, when growth is actually happening.

Confidence is not the absence of fear.
Confidence is choosing to move forward with fear present.

You do not need to eliminate fear to begin. You only need to stop letting it make the decisions.

Someday feels safe.
Now feels uncomfortable.

But now is where change lives.

Starting now might look like sending the email you keep rewriting, sharing the idea even though it feels unfinished, having the honest conversation you have been avoiding, or taking one small step toward the goal that keeps calling you.

You do not need the whole staircase.
You only need the next step.

So just start.

Not perfectly.
Not confidently.
Not with every answer.

Just start.

Because the version of you who learns along the way is far more powerful than the version who stays stuck waiting.

Start messy.
Start scared.
Start now.

Everything changes when you do.

Happy Monday lovelies,

-srt

#MondayMotivation #GetoutofBed #ReaCoachingandConsulting

DEI Through the Lens of Law and Faith

 …it all started with a comment from a student who had heard that DEI puts unqualified people in jobs while taking jobs away from white people.

I did not hear that comment as anger. I heard it as fear. And confusion. And a question many people are quietly carrying but do not know how to ask out loud.

This is not a rebuttal. It is not a takedown. It is a hug. And an invitation to slow down, breathe, be curious and look at what DEI actually is through the lens of the law and through the lens of faith.

Let us start with the law.

In the United States, it is illegal to hire someone simply because of their race, gender, or identity. That has been true for decades.

To tighten it up further, let me qualify the above as this:

U.S. law has long prohibited hiring someone solely because of race, sex, or identity, with narrow, well-defined exceptions such as bona fide occupational qualifications, religious roles, and limited remedial programs.  Those exceptions are narrow, role-specific, and do not permit blanket or automatic preferences.

Equal Employment Opportunity laws such as the Civil Rights Act, the Equal Pay Act, the Americans with Disabilities Act, and the Age Discrimination in Employment Act do not allow employers to replace job-related qualifications with identity-based preferences. Instead, they require that qualified people are not excluded because of bias.

DEI does not mean hiring unqualified people.
It does not mean lowering standards.
It does not mean taking jobs away from one group to give them to another.

What the law requires is that employment decisions are based on qualifications related to the job and not on stereotypes, assumptions, or past patterns of exclusion.

When DEI is done correctly and legally, it expands access to opportunity. It does not remove protection from anyone. White applicants are still protected by the same laws. Fairness is not something that runs out.

Equity is not favoritism.

One of the biggest misunderstandings centers on the word equity.

Equity does not mean everyone gets the same outcome.
It means everyone gets a fair chance to compete.

If two people are equally qualified, the law does not say one must be chosen because of their background. It says that background cannot be the reason someone is ignored or dismissed.

That is not punishment. That is integrity.

Now let us talk about something deeper.

Because even if the law did not require fairness, faith would still call us to it.

The Bible is clear about how we are meant to treat one another.

“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?"  James 2:1

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?"  Micah 6:8 

Justice. Mercy. Humility.

DEI at its heart is not about politics or labels. It is about asking honest questions. 

• Are we seeing people clearly? 
• Are we judging character and ability instead of assumptions? 
• Are we creating spaces where people can use the gifts God gave them?

Scripture repeatedly reminds us to care for those who have been overlooked or pushed aside. Not because they are better. But because they are human.

“The body does not consist of one member but of many.”  1 Corinthians 12:14

A body works best when every part is valued, respected, and allowed to function fully.

A softer truth we do not say often enough.

When people fear that DEI means they will lose something, that fear deserves compassion. Not dismissal.

Fear often comes from not being seen and that matters.

But fairness for others is not loss for you.

A just system does not remove your seat at the table. It makes sure the table was built to hold everyone.

The heart of it.

DEI is not about replacing merit.
It is about removing barriers that never should have existed.

It is not about guilt.
It is about responsibility.

It is not about division.
It is about dignity.

Whether you approach this conversation through the law or through faith, the message is strikingly similar.

See people clearly.
Judge fairly.
Act with love.

That is not radical.
That is human.
And for many of us, it is deeply biblical.

If we can approach this conversation with curiosity instead of defensiveness, and compassion instead of fear, we may find that DEI is not something to resist. It is something that helps us become who we are called to be.

Thanks for digging in today,

-srt 

P.S. If this raised questions for you or stirred something you are still sorting through, that is okay. These conversations matter, and they are better when we have them together. I welcome your thoughts and your questions.

You Matter: A Reminder We All Need

This week, I had a coaching session with a client who came to me feeling worn down, unseen, and questioning her value. As she spoke, I could feel the weight she was carrying, the belief that somehow, she didn’t matter.

And it reminded me of a powerful TEDx talk by Matt Emerzian, where he shares a simple but life-changing truth: you matter.

When We Forget We Matter

My client’s experience is not unusual. So many of us go through seasons where we feel invisible, overwhelmed by responsibility, yet underappreciated. From the outside, life can look fine, but on the inside, it can feel like we’re running on empty.

Matt Emerzian himself once lived that reality. On paper, he had it all, success, career, opportunity, but inside, he was falling apart. Everything changed when someone told him that life isn’t about me, it’s about we. His purpose shifted from chasing status to embracing impact, and that shift made all the difference.

The Ripple Effect of Knowing You Matter

When we forget that we matter, we shrink. We doubt our voice. We live smaller than we were meant to.

But when we remember that we matter, the opposite happens. We come alive. We see that every word, every action, every small kindness has the potential to ripple out and touch others in ways we can’t always measure.

Think about it: a kind word at the right moment, an encouraging text, a simple act of listening, it can change someone’s day, even their life.

Redefining Success

Our culture often tells us that success is about money, power, or recognition. But what if true success is about impact? What if it’s measured by the people we lift up, the hope we spread, and the love we share?

That’s what I reminded my client: her worth is not defined by what she produces, but by who she is. The world is better because she’s in it. And the same is true for you.

My Reminder to You

Maybe you’re reading this and you also need to hear it today: You matter.

Not because of what you do or how perfectly you perform, but because of who you are. Your presence, your kindness, your contributions, they ripple out farther than you know.

So here’s my challenge to you: carry this truth with you into your week. And just as importantly, remind someone else that they matter, too.

Because sometimes the most powerful gift we can give is a simple reminder of what’s already true.

You matter,

-srt

P.S. If you haven't seen You Matter on TedxSanDiego, here is the link:  https://youtu.be/xAcHp0WBbBQ?feature=shared

P.S.S. If you love the TedxSanDiego talk, read Matt Emerzian's book Every Monday Matters: 52 Ways to Make a Difference.