This Season Is Shaping You

There are moments in life when everything feels stalled.

Progress slows. Doors close. Plans shift.

You look around and wonder, Why am I here? Why is this not moving?

It is easy to label these seasons as setbacks. As proof that you are behind. As evidence that something must be wrong.

But what if you are not stuck?

What if you are being developed?

In nature, nothing blooms all year long. There are planting seasons. Growing seasons. Pruning seasons. Resting seasons.

And every single one has a purpose.

The same is true for you.

The quiet season builds clarity.
The challenging season builds resilience.
The stretching season builds capacity.
The uncertain season builds depth and adaptability.

Growth is not always loud. It is not always visible. Sometimes it is happening underground in your character, your patience, your leadership.

This season is not punishing you.
It is preparing you.

A victim mindset asks, Why is this happening to me?
A builder mindset asks, What is this building in me?

One keeps you stuck in reaction.
The other puts you back in authorship.

You may not control the season you are in.
But you always control how you develop within it.

One of the most damaging thoughts during difficult seasons is this:
I should be further by now.

Comparison distorts perspective. Your timeline is not proof of your value.

Development is often invisible while it is happening. Roots grow long before fruit appears.

You are not behind.
You are under construction.

Instead of asking, When will this be over?
Try asking, Who is this shaping me to become?

One day you will look back and realize this was the season that strengthened your voice. This was the season that built your endurance. This was the season that clarified your direction.

You are not buried.
You are planted.

This season is not your identity.
It is your development ground.

Stay present.
Stay engaged.
Stay open.

The version of you being formed right now is stronger, steadier, and more capable than you can currently see.

You are not stuck. You are being developed.

So take a breath.
Square your shoulders.
And attack this day like a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Let’s go,

-srt

Don't Let a Storm Rename You

There are moments in life that feel bigger than us.

Moments when disappointment feels permanent.
When anxiety feels endless.
When failure feels final.
When heartbreak feels defining.

And in those moments, your brain does something subtle but powerful.

It turns a feeling into an identity.

“This is who I am now.”

That is almost never true.

The real danger isn’t emotion.

It’s when we confuse a temporary state with a permanent definition.

So instead of just talking about perspective today, I want to give you a framework you can actually use.

Coaching Tool 1: The STORM Method

(For When Emotions Feel Bigger Than You)

When you feel emotionally flooded, walk yourself through this:

S – Stop

Interrupt the spiral.

No texting.
No dramatic decisions.
No identity conclusions.

Just pause.

T – Tag the State

Name the feeling.

Not the story.
The feeling.

“I feel rejected.”
“I feel embarrassed.”
“I feel anxious.”
“I feel disappointed.”

This is your state ... your temporary emotional condition.

States move.
States fluctuate.
States pass.

Naming the state immediately separates you from it.

You are not anxiety.
You are experiencing anxiety.

That distinction creates space.

O – Observe the Story

Now ask:

What meaning am I attaching to this?

“I always mess things up.”
“No one chooses me.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“This is how my life will always be.”

This is the story.

The state is honest.
The story is interpretive.

And under stress, your brain predicts a permanent future based on a temporary feeling.

It thinks it’s protecting you.

It’s usually exaggerating.

R – Reframe (Flip the Narrative)

Now we shift.

Ask:

What else could this mean?
What might this be teaching me?
If this were happening for me instead of to me, what would be different?
What would someone who believes in me say right now?

For example:

Instead of
“I failed. I’m not cut out for this.”

Try
“This is feedback. I’m in the learning phase.”

Instead of
“They rejected me. I’m not enough.”

Try
“That wasn’t aligned. My value hasn’t changed.”

See what you did there? 

• The event stays the same.
• The meaning changes.
• And meaning determines emotional impact.

M – Move Forward Intentionally

From your reframed perspective, ask:

What decision aligns with who I’m becoming?

Not who I feel like in this moment.
Who I’m becoming.

Because here’s the truth:

Temporary struggle is not permanent identity.

Crisis speaks in absolutes:

Always.
Never.
Forever.

Growth speaks in seasons:

Right now.
This phase.
This lesson.

You are in a moment, not a life sentence.

Coaching Tool 2: The State Shift Model (Your Daily Practice)

If STORM feels like the full reset, here’s the simplified daily version:

1. Name the Feeling (State)

2. Flip the Narrative (Shift)

That’s it.

You don’t need to suppress emotion.
You don’t need to overanalyze it.

You need to separate it from your identity and choose your interpretation intentionally.

Neuroscience tells us the chemical surge of emotion lasts about 90 seconds — unless we keep re-triggering it with our thoughts.

So when the wave hits:

Pause.
Tag it.
Let it pass.
Then shift.

That is emotional strength.

Not avoiding emotion.
Not denying emotion.

Managing it.

Final Thoughts

If this week has felt heavy, remember:

You have survived 100% of your hardest days so far.

Your nervous system may be activated.
Your thoughts may be loud.
Your heart may feel heavy.

But those are experiences passing through you.

They are not who you are.

Don’t let a storm rename you.

Use it to build resilience instead.

Happy Thursday all,
– srt

#ThursdayThoughts #LeadershipGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #mindset #resilience #reacoachingandconsulting

You Are Stronger Than This Moment

There are moments in life that feel bigger than us.

Moments when disappointment feels permanent.
When anxiety feels endless.
When failure feels final.
When heartbreak feels defining.

And in those moments, it’s easy to believe a dangerous lie:

“This is who I am now.”

But it isn’t.

You are stronger than this moment.
And this moment does not define your identity.

Your feelings are real.
They matter.
They deserve to be acknowledged.

But they are not permanent.

Emotions move like weather systems. Storms can feel overwhelming while you’re inside them ... dark, loud, consuming. But no storm lasts forever.

The problem isn’t that we feel deeply.
The problem is that we confuse a temporary emotional state with a permanent identity.

You are not your worst day.
You are not your anxiety spike.
You are not your mistake.
You are not your rejection.

You are a human being moving through an experience.

This week, remember one powerful distinction:

State vs. Story.

Your state says: “I feel overwhelmed.”
Your story says: “I can’t handle life.”

Your state is temporary.
Your story tries to make it permanent.

When emotion rises, pause for 90 seconds.

Don’t analyze.
Don’t react.
Don’t decide who you are.

Breathe.
Name the feeling.
Let the wave pass.

Strength is not the absence of emotion.
Strength is staying present inside it.

This is something you are going through — not something you are.

Walk into this week remembering:

You are bigger than this storm.
You are wiser than this reaction.
You are stronger than this moment.

Walk into this week like someone who knows the storm will pass.

Umbrella up. Chin up.

You’ve got this,
– srt

Resilience in the Middle of Loss and Uncertainty

Resilience used to be a word I spoke about with confidence.

I understood it. I taught it. I teach it.  I encourage others to live it.

But resilience feels very different when life touches you in a deeply personal way.

The death of my sister has challenged me in ways I never expected. Grief has a way of shaking your foundation. It slows you down. It makes you question what truly matters. It changes how you see time, relationships, and purpose.

At the same time, I am standing in another life transition. Retirement. A word that sounds like rest and reward. Yet beneath it sits a quiet question that keeps rising in my heart.

What do I do next?

Loss and transition arriving together have stretched me. One season closed without my permission. Another season closed because I chose it. Both have required resilience.

And I am learning that resilience is not about being strong all the time.

It is about being honest.

There are days when I miss my sister so deeply that it takes my breath away. There are moments when I wonder who I am outside of the structure of my career. I have asked myself questions that have no quick answers.

Who am I now
What is my purpose in this new season
How do I move forward while carrying grief

Resilience, for me, has become the willingness to sit with those questions without running from them.

It has become allowing myself to mourn without guilt.
Allowing myself to rest without fear.
Allowing myself to dream again without pressure.

I have realized that retirement is not an ending. It is an invitation. An invitation to rediscover purpose beyond titles. An invitation to explore passions that were once placed on hold. An invitation to serve in new ways.

And grief has clarified something powerful. Life is precious. Time is not promised. Love must be expressed now.

My sister’s life reminds me that impact is not measured in years but in the way we touch others. That truth is shaping how I think about what comes next.

I do not have every answer. But I do have faith. I have experience. I have wisdom earned through years of living, loving, working, and now grieving.

The Bible often speaks of forty as a season of testing, preparation, and stretching. Forty days of rain before the earth was renewed. Forty years in the wilderness before the promise. Forty days of fasting before ministry began. Forty represents the trial.

But forty one represents what comes after.

Forty one represents the step into something new. The promise fulfilled. The beginning that follows endurance.

In many ways, this season feels like my forty. A season of testing, loss, reflection, and transition. Yet I believe I am standing at day forty one. Not because the grief is gone. Not because every question has been answered. But because I trust that God does not bring us through wilderness without purpose.

Faith reminds me that this is not the end of my story. Experience reminds me that every difficult chapter has produced growth. Wisdom reminds me that God wastes nothing, not even sorrow.

Day forty-one is not loud. It is not dramatic. It is quiet courage. It is the first step forward after heartbreak. It is choosing to believe there is still purpose ahead. It is trusting that the same God who sustained me in the testing will lead me into what is next.

Instead of asking, "What do I do now that I have retired", I am beginning to ask, "Who am I called to be in this season?"

Resilience is not rushing into the next thing to avoid the discomfort of change. It is walking through change with courage. It is trusting that even when life feels uncertain, there is still purpose ahead.

I do not have every detail mapped out. But I am standing in faith. I am standing in gratitude. I am standing in expectation.

Getting up each day even when my heart is heavy.
Choosing gratitude while I heal.
Staying open to new possibilities.
Trusting that my story is not finished.

If you are walking through loss, transition, or uncertainty, know this. You are not weak for feeling unsteady. You are human.

Resilience is not about pretending you are unaffected.
It is about continuing forward, even if the steps are small.

My sister’s death has changed me.
Retirement has stretched me.
But neither has defeated me.

I am still here.
Still growing.
Still becoming.

This is my day forty-one.

And I am choosing to rise.

-srt

Cracking me up on the Harry Potter Train in Scotland

At our favorite place on this planet, Cannon Beach Oregon. 

xoxoxo Wheezer, Love Pokey

Bend, Don’t Break: The Power of Resilience

Life has a way of testing us.

Sometimes it is subtle. A disappointment, a rejection, a plan that does not work out. Other times it hits like a storm. Loss, failure, betrayal, burnout. In those moments, it can feel like everything is falling apart.

But here is the truth. Resilience is not about never falling. It is about rising every single time you do.

Resilience is the quiet strength that whispers, “Try again.”
It is the decision to keep going when quitting would be easier.
It is choosing growth over bitterness.

And the most beautiful part? Resilience is not something you are born with. It is something you build.

Struggle Is Not the Opposite of Strength

We often mistake resilience for toughness. For pretending things do not hurt. But real resilience is not denial. It is facing pain honestly and still choosing to move forward.

The strongest trees are not the ones untouched by wind. They are the ones that have bent in storms and learned how to stand again.

Every setback teaches something.

Failure teaches refinement.
Rejection teaches redirection.
Loss teaches perspective.
Hardship builds endurance.

Your struggles are not signs of weakness. They are shaping tools.

The Bible often speaks of forty as a season of testing and preparation. Forty days of rain before renewal. Forty years in the wilderness before the promise. Forty days of fasting before ministry began. Forty represents the trial.

But there is always a day after forty.

Resilience is living in your forty without losing faith in day forty-one. It is trusting that seasons of stretching are preparing you for something greater. It is believing that endurance always produces growth.

Resilience Is a Skill

Like a muscle, resilience strengthens with use. You build it when you:

Take responsibility instead of making excuses.
Learn instead of blaming.
Rest instead of quitting.
Ask for help instead of isolating.

Resilience does not mean you will not cry.
It does not mean you will not doubt.
It does not mean you will not feel tired.

It means you refuse to stay down.

Resilience is choosing faith over fear. It is choosing perspective over panic. It is choosing progress even when perfection is nowhere in sight.

The most resilient people ask one powerful question:

“What is this teaching me?”

That question turns pain into purpose.
It turns failure into feedback.
It turns obstacles into strategy.

When you stop asking, “Why is this happening to me?”
And start asking, “How can this grow me?”
Everything changes.

Faith reminds us that testing is never wasted. Experience teaches us that every difficult chapter carries a lesson. Wisdom shows us that growth often comes disguised as hardship.

Day forty one is quiet courage. It is the first step forward after discouragement. It is choosing to believe there is still purpose ahead. It is trusting that the same strength that carried you through the storm will carry you into what is next.

You Are More Capable Than You Think

Think about everything you have already survived.

There were moments you thought you would not get through but you did.
There were days you felt broken, but you kept moving.
There were chapters that hurt but you are still here.

That is resilience.

Not perfection.
Not invincibility.
Persistence.

And every time you choose courage over comfort, you reinforce the truth. You are stronger than your circumstances.

Storms do not last forever. But the strength they build does.

So, when life bends you, do not assume you are breaking. You might just be becoming.

Keep going.

This may be your forty. A season of testing, stretching, and refining. But day forty-one is coming. A season of clarity, strength, and renewed purpose.

And that is the gift of resilience.

Have a marvelous Monday,

-srt

Do. Not. Miss. This. A Year of Presence

This year, my word is present.

I chose it because I realized how often I am physically somewhere but not fully there. Not just because of my phone, although that plays a role. It shows up in quieter ways too. It is sitting in a restaurant and finding myself more engaged in listening to someone else’s conversation than the person across from me. It is bringing my computer along because I just need to finish one thing while my son is trying to tell me about his day. It is thinking about what is next instead of settling into what is now.

It is half listening. Half working. Half showing up.

And I do not want to live a half life.

It is such a gift to give someone your undivided attention. To be fully in a moment. To look someone in the eyes and let them feel that you are really there. No rushing. No drifting. Attention is love in action.

Being present is also about recognizing the little gifts all around us.

• The way light comes through the window of my office in the morning.
• The sound of laughter from another room.
• The ordinary stories that feel small but are actually sacred treasures.
• The way Cali talks to me as we walk the perimeter of the farm.
• The way the clouds form images or the colors stretch across the sky at sunset while the chickens make their way to the coop.

So much of life is made up of these quiet moments, and they are easy to overlook when we are distracted or in a hurry. But they are the moments that anchor us. They remind us we are alive. They are the moments we will one day wish we could step back into.

There is a line from a movie that has been echoing in my head lately: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” It feels almost too simple, but the older I get, the truer it becomes. Life really does move fast. Seasons change. Children grow. Sunsets come and go whether I notice them or not. And I do not want to miss it.

I have started asking myself a different question in the morning. Instead of immediately thinking about everything I need to accomplish, I ask, what does the world have for me today? What beauty is waiting to be noticed? What conversation needs my full attention? What simple moment might become a memory?

This shift feels small, but it is changing me. It is softening me. It is slowing me down in the best way.

I want to fully live this gift of a life I have been given that is already in front of me.

Not someday. Not when things calm down. Not after the work is finished.

Now.

Being present does not mean I will do it perfectly. It means I am aware. It means I am choosing again and again to close the laptop, to look up from the noise, to stay in the conversation, to walk the farm without rushing the steps.

This year I am choosing depth over distraction. Connection over constant motion. Awareness over autopilot.

I do not want to miss what is right in front of me.

I want to be here for it.

Fully.

Present.

Happy Monday Lovelies,

-srt

Discovering Your Ikigai: Finding Purpose at the Intersection of Passion and Meaning

Have you ever found yourself wondering what your true purpose is?

What gets you out of bed in the morning feeling energized, fulfilled, and aligned?

In Japan, there is a beautiful concept that helps people uncover this sense of meaning. It’s called Ikigai.

Ikigai is more than a trendy self-development tool ... it’s a powerful framework for living with clarity, intention, and purpose.

What Is Ikigai?

Ikigai is a Japanese term that translates loosely to “a reason for being.”
It represents the deep sense of purpose that makes life feel meaningful and worth waking up for.

At its core, Ikigai is the intersection of four essential parts of life:

• What you love

• What you are good at

• What the world needs

• What you can be paid for

When these areas overlap, they reveal the sweet spot where passion, talent, service, and sustainability come together.

Why Ikigai Is So Powerful

Ikigai is powerful because it helps people move beyond simply “getting through life” and toward truly living with intention.

Many people feel stuck because they are disconnected from one or more of these areas:

• They may be successful, but not fulfilled

• They may be passionate, but unsure how to turn it into a career

• They may serve others, but feel burned out

• They may have talent, but no clear direction

Ikigai provides clarity by showing that fulfillment isn’t found in just one thing — it’s found in alignment.

My Ikigai: A Personal Example

One of the most meaningful parts of the Ikigai process is seeing how your own experiences, strengths, and passions come together.

Here is my personal Ikigai:

In my diagram, the themes are clear:

• I love helping people feel grounded, supported, and seen

• I’m good at coaching, listening deeply, and guiding transformation

• The world needs more emotional wellness and compassionate leadership

• I can be paid for coaching, teaching, writing, and consulting

At the center of it all is my purpose:

I help people feel grounded, supported, and empowered to create meaningful lives through compassionate coaching and emotional wellness work.

Ikigai as a Compass for Growth

Ikigai isn’t something you find once and never revisit.

It’s a lifelong practice ... a way of checking in with yourself and asking:

• Am I living in alignment with what matters most?

• Am I using my gifts in service of something meaningful?

• Am I creating a life that feels fulfilling and sustainable?

When you discover your Ikigai, you begin to make decisions with greater confidence, direction, and peace.

Your Turn: What Might Your Ikigai Be?

If you’re feeling called to explore your own Ikigai, start by reflecting on these four questions:

• What do I love?

• What am I good at?

• What does the world need?

• What can I be paid for?

Your answers may hold the key to a life that feels deeply aligned.

Ready to Discover Yours?

If you’d like support uncovering your own Ikigai and building a life around your purpose, I’d love to help.

Coaching is a powerful space for clarity, growth, and transformation.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

#ReaCoachingandConsulting #Ikigai #Love #worldneedsyou

Start Messy. Start Scared. Start Now.

We spend so much time waiting for the right moment.

When things feel clearer.
When confidence shows up.
When the plan feels airtight.
When fear finally quiets down.

But here is the truth most people do not want to hear.

That moment rarely comes.

Growth does not begin with certainty. It begins with courage.

So many dreams stall out not because they are impossible, but because we believe we need to feel ready before we begin. We tell ourselves we will start when we know all the steps, feel confident instead of nervous, have the perfect tools or timing, or are sure it will work.

But readiness is a moving target. The more you wait for it, the further away it seems.

Clarity does not come before action.
Clarity comes from action.

Starting messy means giving yourself permission to be imperfect. It means accepting that the first draft will be rough, the first attempt may wobble, and the first version will not be your best.

And that is not a flaw.
It is the process.

Messy beginnings teach you faster than overthinking ever will. They build momentum instead of fear and replace self doubt with real experience. Every expert you admire once stood exactly where you are now.

Starting scared does not mean you are doing it wrong.

Fear is not a stop sign. It is a signal. It often shows up when something matters, when you are stretching beyond what is familiar, when growth is actually happening.

Confidence is not the absence of fear.
Confidence is choosing to move forward with fear present.

You do not need to eliminate fear to begin. You only need to stop letting it make the decisions.

Someday feels safe.
Now feels uncomfortable.

But now is where change lives.

Starting now might look like sending the email you keep rewriting, sharing the idea even though it feels unfinished, having the honest conversation you have been avoiding, or taking one small step toward the goal that keeps calling you.

You do not need the whole staircase.
You only need the next step.

So just start.

Not perfectly.
Not confidently.
Not with every answer.

Just start.

Because the version of you who learns along the way is far more powerful than the version who stays stuck waiting.

Start messy.
Start scared.
Start now.

Everything changes when you do.

Happy Monday lovelies,

-srt

#MondayMotivation #GetoutofBed #ReaCoachingandConsulting

DEI Through the Lens of Law and Faith

 …it all started with a comment from a student who had heard that DEI puts unqualified people in jobs while taking jobs away from white people.

I did not hear that comment as anger. I heard it as fear. And confusion. And a question many people are quietly carrying but do not know how to ask out loud.

This is not a rebuttal. It is not a takedown. It is a hug. And an invitation to slow down, breathe, be curious and look at what DEI actually is through the lens of the law and through the lens of faith.

Let us start with the law.

In the United States, it is illegal to hire someone simply because of their race, gender, or identity. That has been true for decades.

To tighten it up further, let me qualify the above as this:

U.S. law has long prohibited hiring someone solely because of race, sex, or identity, with narrow, well-defined exceptions such as bona fide occupational qualifications, religious roles, and limited remedial programs.  Those exceptions are narrow, role-specific, and do not permit blanket or automatic preferences.

Equal Employment Opportunity laws such as the Civil Rights Act, the Equal Pay Act, the Americans with Disabilities Act, and the Age Discrimination in Employment Act do not allow employers to replace job-related qualifications with identity-based preferences. Instead, they require that qualified people are not excluded because of bias.

DEI does not mean hiring unqualified people.
It does not mean lowering standards.
It does not mean taking jobs away from one group to give them to another.

What the law requires is that employment decisions are based on qualifications related to the job and not on stereotypes, assumptions, or past patterns of exclusion.

When DEI is done correctly and legally, it expands access to opportunity. It does not remove protection from anyone. White applicants are still protected by the same laws. Fairness is not something that runs out.

Equity is not favoritism.

One of the biggest misunderstandings centers on the word equity.

Equity does not mean everyone gets the same outcome.
It means everyone gets a fair chance to compete.

If two people are equally qualified, the law does not say one must be chosen because of their background. It says that background cannot be the reason someone is ignored or dismissed.

That is not punishment. That is integrity.

Now let us talk about something deeper.

Because even if the law did not require fairness, faith would still call us to it.

The Bible is clear about how we are meant to treat one another.

“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?"  James 2:1

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?"  Micah 6:8 

Justice. Mercy. Humility.

DEI at its heart is not about politics or labels. It is about asking honest questions. 

• Are we seeing people clearly? 
• Are we judging character and ability instead of assumptions? 
• Are we creating spaces where people can use the gifts God gave them?

Scripture repeatedly reminds us to care for those who have been overlooked or pushed aside. Not because they are better. But because they are human.

“The body does not consist of one member but of many.”  1 Corinthians 12:14

A body works best when every part is valued, respected, and allowed to function fully.

A softer truth we do not say often enough.

When people fear that DEI means they will lose something, that fear deserves compassion. Not dismissal.

Fear often comes from not being seen and that matters.

But fairness for others is not loss for you.

A just system does not remove your seat at the table. It makes sure the table was built to hold everyone.

The heart of it.

DEI is not about replacing merit.
It is about removing barriers that never should have existed.

It is not about guilt.
It is about responsibility.

It is not about division.
It is about dignity.

Whether you approach this conversation through the law or through faith, the message is strikingly similar.

See people clearly.
Judge fairly.
Act with love.

That is not radical.
That is human.
And for many of us, it is deeply biblical.

If we can approach this conversation with curiosity instead of defensiveness, and compassion instead of fear, we may find that DEI is not something to resist. It is something that helps us become who we are called to be.

Thanks for digging in today,

-srt 

P.S. If this raised questions for you or stirred something you are still sorting through, that is okay. These conversations matter, and they are better when we have them together. I welcome your thoughts and your questions.

You Matter: A Reminder We All Need

This week, I had a coaching session with a client who came to me feeling worn down, unseen, and questioning her value. As she spoke, I could feel the weight she was carrying, the belief that somehow, she didn’t matter.

And it reminded me of a powerful TEDx talk by Matt Emerzian, where he shares a simple but life-changing truth: you matter.

When We Forget We Matter

My client’s experience is not unusual. So many of us go through seasons where we feel invisible, overwhelmed by responsibility, yet underappreciated. From the outside, life can look fine, but on the inside, it can feel like we’re running on empty.

Matt Emerzian himself once lived that reality. On paper, he had it all, success, career, opportunity, but inside, he was falling apart. Everything changed when someone told him that life isn’t about me, it’s about we. His purpose shifted from chasing status to embracing impact, and that shift made all the difference.

The Ripple Effect of Knowing You Matter

When we forget that we matter, we shrink. We doubt our voice. We live smaller than we were meant to.

But when we remember that we matter, the opposite happens. We come alive. We see that every word, every action, every small kindness has the potential to ripple out and touch others in ways we can’t always measure.

Think about it: a kind word at the right moment, an encouraging text, a simple act of listening, it can change someone’s day, even their life.

Redefining Success

Our culture often tells us that success is about money, power, or recognition. But what if true success is about impact? What if it’s measured by the people we lift up, the hope we spread, and the love we share?

That’s what I reminded my client: her worth is not defined by what she produces, but by who she is. The world is better because she’s in it. And the same is true for you.

My Reminder to You

Maybe you’re reading this and you also need to hear it today: You matter.

Not because of what you do or how perfectly you perform, but because of who you are. Your presence, your kindness, your contributions, they ripple out farther than you know.

So here’s my challenge to you: carry this truth with you into your week. And just as importantly, remind someone else that they matter, too.

Because sometimes the most powerful gift we can give is a simple reminder of what’s already true.

You matter,

-srt

P.S. If you haven't seen You Matter on TedxSanDiego, here is the link:  https://youtu.be/xAcHp0WBbBQ?feature=shared

P.S.S. If you love the TedxSanDiego talk, read Matt Emerzian's book Every Monday Matters: 52 Ways to Make a Difference.

Kotter’s 8 Steps: A Proven Framework for Leading Change

Change is constant, but successful change is not. Many organizations struggle to implement new initiatives, align their teams, or sustain transformation over time. Dr. John Kotter, a leading authority on leadership and change at Harvard Business School, developed a practical and widely used framework to address this: 

Kotter’s 8 Step Process for Leading Change.

This model helps leaders move from vision to execution, building momentum and engagement throughout the change journey.

What Is Kotter’s 8 Step Model?

Kotter’s model provides a structured, people centered roadmap for implementing change. Unlike traditional change management processes that focus on systems and structure, Kotter’s approach emphasizes leadership, communication, and cultural alignment.

Here are the eight steps:

1. Create a Sense of Urgency
   Help people see why change is necessary. Use data, trends, or customer feedback to highlight the risks of inaction and the opportunities ahead.

2. Build a Guiding Coalition
   Assemble a group of influential leaders and change champions who can drive momentum and overcome resistance.

3. Form a Strategic Vision and Initiatives
   Craft a clear, inspiring vision for the future and identify actionable steps that will move the organization toward it.

4. Enlist a Volunteer Army
   Communicate the vision broadly and invite others to participate. Engagement and buy in grow when people feel part of the movement.

5. Enable Action by Removing Barriers
   Identify and address obstacles, whether structural, procedural, or cultural, that slow down progress.

6. Generate Short Term Wins
   Celebrate early successes to build confidence and show that the change is working.

7. Sustain Acceleration
   Use the momentum from early wins to tackle bigger challenges. Keep pushing forward and avoid declaring victory too early.

8. Institute Change
   Anchor the new behaviors and processes into the organizational culture so the change sticks over time.

When and Where to Use Kotter’s Model

Kotter’s framework is ideal for any organizational transformation that requires alignment, engagement, and cultural shift. It works particularly well in

• Business transformations such as mergers, restructuring, or digital initiatives

• Leadership transitions or new strategy rollouts

• Culture or behavior change programs

• Team or departmental realignments

• Nonprofit or community-based initiatives that require broad collaboration

Essentially, if your change effort involves people rather than only processes, Kotter’s model offers a roadmap to build commitment and momentum.

How to Apply Kotter’s 8 Steps

Implementing Kotter’s model involves both structure and flexibility. Here is how to bring it to life:

1. Diagnose the Current State: Understand the internal and external pressures driving change. Gather insights to build urgency.

2. Form Your Coalition: Identify credible, committed leaders who can influence others.

3. Co Create the Vision: Collaborate with your team to define what success looks like and why it matters.

4. Communicate Relentlessly: Share stories, updates, and results frequently through multiple channels and conversations.

5. Empower Teams: Remove red tape, clarify roles, and provide resources to make change easier.

6. Track and Celebrate Wins: Recognize progress early and often to reinforce commitment.

7. Scale and Sustain: Expand successful practices and embed them into hiring, training, and leadership development.

8. Anchor in Culture: Reinforce new norms through shared values, systems, and leadership behaviors.

Final Thoughts

Kotter’s 8 Step Model reminds us that successful change is not about control, it is about connection. Change takes root when people believe in it, understand their role, and see real results.

As leaders, our job is to guide others through uncertainty with clarity, empathy, and consistency, transforming not just what we do, but how we think and collaborate along the way.

Happy Thursday lovelies,

-srt

Reference

Kotter, J. P. (1996). Leading Change. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press.

You Are Allowed to Be Proud of Yourself

 

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to downplay our wins.

We learned to say “It was nothing” instead of “I worked hard for this.”
We learned to keep moving instead of pausing.
We learned that pride could look like arrogance, and that humility meant shrinking.

Let this be your reminder: you are allowed to be proud of yourself.

Pride Is Not Arrogance

Being proud of yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re better than others. It means you recognize your effort, your growth, and your resilience. It means you acknowledge what it took to get here ... the late nights, the 80-hour workweeks, the uncomfortable conversations, the moments you wanted to quit but didn’t.

Healthy pride is grounded.
It’s honest.
It’s earned.

Growth Deserves Recognition

So often, we only celebrate big milestones: the promotion, the finished goal, the visible success. But growth usually happens quietly.

It happens when:

• You set a boundary you used to avoid

• You chose rest instead of burnout

• You spoke kindly to yourself on a hard day

• You tried again after failing

Those moments matter. They count. And they deserve recognition ... especially from you.

You Don’t Need Permission (But Here It Is Anyway)

If no one has told you lately, let this be the moment you hear it:

• You don’t need to wait until everything is perfect.
• You don’t need to minimize your progress because someone else is further along.
• You don’t need external validation to honor your journey.

You are allowed to be proud of who you are becoming, not just what you’ve achieved.

A Simple Practice

Today, pause and ask yourself:

• What have I done recently that took courage?

• Where have I grown, even if it was uncomfortable?

• What am I proud of that I haven’t acknowledged yet?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Let it land.

Because pride, when rooted in self-respect, fuels confidence ... not complacency.

Final Reminder

You are allowed to be proud of yourself.
Not someday.
Not when you’ve done “more.”
Right Now.

And sometimes, that reminder is exactly what keeps us going.

Keep going lovelies, you got this. 

-srt