Stop the Chaos, Start Connecting

Everywhere we look, it feels like the world is shouting. The news screams, social media argues, and neighbors divide over things that used to feel small. We’re living in a time when anger spreads faster than facts and connection feels harder to find.

But here’s the truth: we can stop the chaos if we choose connection over division.

Somewhere along the way, we became quick to blame instead of understand. We rush to sue, shout, or shame instead of solve. We misdirect our rage toward one another when most of us are just trying to get by. And we pour that frustration into social media posts that only deepen the divide, when what we really need is conversation, compassion, and partnership.

We don’t have to agree on everything to care about each other. We don’t have to share the same background, vote the same way, or see the world through the same lens to build something better together. What we do need is the courage to slow down, listen, and see the human being across from us.

It starts in small, powerful ways:

• Ask a genuine question instead of assuming the worst.
• Choose a conversation over a comment thread.
• Spend more time with people who don’t think like you, but who want the same things at heart: safety, belonging, hope, and purpose.

The truth is, most of us want the same outcome, we just differ on how to get there. When we step back from the noise and lean into listening, we begin to remember that we are more alike than we are different.

Toxic division thrives on fear. Connection thrives on curiosity, compassion, and courage. One builds walls. The other builds bridges.

So maybe the change we need won’t come from a headline or a hashtag. Maybe it starts at our own dinner tables, in our neighborhoods, our classrooms, and our workplaces, one honest conversation at a time.

Let’s be the generation that quiets the noise and chooses empathy over outrage. The world doesn’t need more chaos. It needs more connection, and it starts with us.

Happy Thursday lovelies  Its rough out there.  Be kind to one another.  

-srt

Losing Patience at the Happiest Place on the Planet

It was a long, buzzing day at Disneyland, the kind where rides, lines, and crowds stretch the limits of anyone’s endurance. I was there with a group of foster children participating in a sibling reunification event.  

I was assigned to a young foster child, a boy with sharp at the edges and still figuring out how to belong in the world. After one especially questionable decision, I decided to try something different.  I exaggeratedly patted my pocket, as if searching for something important. I dug around deeper and deeper, my expression growing serious. “I have something for you,” I said, drawing out the moment and making him curious about what I could possibly be hiding.

Finally, I pulled my hand out, did my best attempt to pick at imaginary lint, but then landed it in front of him open, empty.
“This, minus the lint,” I said, “is all the patience I have left. I am giving it to you.”

He looked at my hand with a mix of confusion and disbelief. Then, with a sly grin, he plucked the invisible patience from my palm. Without hesitation, he threw it on the ground, stomped on it, and ground it deep into the dirt with the heel of his shoe.

I did not flinch. “That patience was important to me and, if you aren't going to use it I would like it back” I told him calmly. “You need to pick it back up, even the pieces stuck to your shoe.”

He gave me a look of pure bewilderment, the kind that said this woman is completely crazy.  But after seeing my "I am waiting" face, he crouched down and carefully picked up the invisible patience, even pretending to dig a few stubborn bits out of his sneaker tread. When he stood, he held it out to me, mangled and squished in his hand.

I smiled and said softly, “Just hold it for a few minutes. It will start to feel better. Patience just needs calm to heal, to regrow and regroup.”

For the first time that day, he was still. He cupped the invisible patience gently, then began to pet it with one finger. In a normal, quiet voice, a voice that carried more tenderness than defiance, he whispered to it, “You are getting better. I think you are okay now.”  He then looked at me and smile.  I could not help but smile back.

Something changed after that. He stayed close to me for the rest of the day. Maybe it was because of the invisible patience we were nursing back to health, or maybe it was the fact that I was blasting the KPOP Demon Hunter soundtrack, turning our walk through the park into an epic adventure. To me, it felt like we were not just walking through Disneyland, we were on a quest, protecting something fragile and good.

On the train, he lifted patience up to see the view. In quieter moments, he stroked it and whispered to it again. Somewhere between the rides and the laughter, the invisible patience became something real, a reminder that calm, kindness, and connection can grow even in the most unexpected places.

When the day began to wind down and the buses pulled up before dark, he turned to me and held out his hand.
“Do you want your patience back?” he said.

I shook my head. “No. I think you might need it this week. Be kind to it.”

He nodded solemnly, tucked the invisible patience into his pocket, and held out his fist. I met it with mine.

“I think you are amazing and smart,” I told him. “And I hope you always choose to be kind. Take care of patience.”

He did not say much, but the way he walked away, patience safe in his pocket, said enough.

Five Lessons I Learned from That Moment

1. Patience can be shared, even when it feels invisible.
Sometimes the best gift we can offer is not advice or correction, but a moment of calm presence that invites someone else to join us there.

2. Playfulness can open doors where lectures cannot.
That day, imagination created a bridge between us. The silliness made space for sincerity.

3. Healing often starts in quiet.
When he held that patience still, the calm that followed was not pretend. It was real. Sometimes we all just need a minute to hold still and let things regroup.

4. Connection changes behavior more than correction does.
Once he felt seen and safe, he wanted to stay close. Relationship, not rules, is what shifts hearts.

5. The things we teach often become the things we need.
As I asked him to care for patience, I realized I was reminding myself to do the same, to be gentle, to breathe, and to carry patience forward, even when it feels worn and invisible.

Reflection

So many things I leave unwritten in this post, but that day reminded me that patience is not a thing we simply have; it is something we practice, protect, and sometimes lend to others. In leadership, in parenting, in mentoring, or in life, patience is an act of generosity that allows space for growth and grace. The boy may have walked away with invisible patience in his pocket, but I walked away with something too ... a deeper understanding that the normalest, most creative moments of connection can plant seeds that grow long after the day is done.

Happy Thursday all.  Be kind to one another.

-srt

The 7 Problem Solving Steps Every Leader Should Know

Problems are part of life and leadership. Some are small, like running out of coffee before a meeting, and others are big, like project delays, budget cuts, or conflicting stakeholder priorities. What separates effective leaders from overwhelmed ones is a systematic approach to solving problems.

Here is a practical 7 step process that will help you move from confusion to clarity.

1. Identify the Issue

The first step is simple but essential: name the problem clearly. Many teams waste time treating symptoms instead of addressing the real issue. For example, if a project keeps missing deadlines, the problem is not late work. It might be unrealistic timelines or unclear priorities.

Leadership Lesson: If you cannot explain the problem in one sentence, you do not fully understand it yet.

Tools to Use:  Problem Statement Template, 5 Whys Analysis

2. Understand Everyone’s Interests

Behind every problem are people with different perspectives, needs, and priorities. Understanding these interests helps you design solutions that work for everyone involved.

Leadership Lesson: Listen carefully. Ask questions. The more you know about what people need, the better your solutions will be.

Tools to Use: Stakeholder Analysis Matrix, Empathy Map

3. List the Possible Solutions (Options)

Brainstorm as many options as possible without filtering too soon. Sometimes the most unconventional idea sparks the best outcome.

Leadership Lesson: Encourage creativity. Separate generating ideas from evaluating them.

Tools to Use: Brainstorming, Mind Mapping, SCAMPER Technique

4. Evaluate the Options

Once you have a list, weigh the pros and cons of each option. Consider feasibility, cost, timing, risks, and long term impact.

Leadership Lesson: Be thorough. A quick fix may not solve the deeper issue.

Tools to Use: SWOT Analysis, Decision Matrix, Cost Benefit Analysis

5. Select an Option (or Options)

Decision time. Pick the option or combination that best addresses the problem and aligns with your goals.

Leadership Lesson: Involve key stakeholders in the choice. Commitment to the solution increases when people are part of the decision.

Tools to Use: Multi Criteria Decision Analysis, Voting Techniques, Delphi Method

6. Document the Agreement

Clarity prevents confusion. Writing down the decision ensures everyone knows what was agreed on, who is responsible, and what the next steps are.

Leadership Lesson: If it is not documented, it did not happen. Documentation builds accountability and shared understanding.

Tools to Use: Action Plan Template, RACI Chart, Meeting Minutes

7. Agree on Contingencies, Monitoring, and Evaluation

No plan is perfect. Build in checkpoints, monitoring, and a process for making adjustments if things do not go as expected.

Leadership Lesson: Follow up is where many problem-solving efforts fail. Continuous review ensures solutions stick.

Tools to Use: KPI Dashboard, Risk Register, After Action Review

Bottom Line:

Problem solving is not about having all the answers. It is about having a clear process. By following these seven steps, you will move from reacting to challenges in frustration to responding with clarity and confidence.

Next time you face a tough problem, whether it is a stalled project, a difficult decision, or even just an empty coffee pot, remember that problems are opportunities to lead.

Happy Thursday,

-srt 

P.S. Before you panic because you don't know how to use the tools above, never fear.  I got your back.  Starting next week, I will introduce each so that you can execute like a pro.