Rapport and Belonging

Happy Thursday!

This week feels like a blur.  I want to start by offering all celebrating Durja Puja a wonderful festival.  In reading about the celebration, I am uplifted as I too believe that no matter what occurs, good will always prevail. 

Next, it is quite a blur as the construction distraction outside my office has subsided and the house has officially been approved by the city.  

Now that doesn’t mean it is really done as the outdoor kitchen and road are still not finished, but the idea of moving from the trailer to the house is an amazing feeling.  

This weekend, that is what we will be doing, beginning the process of moving into the house.  As many of you know, this is an exhausting but rewarding process.  Plan for me to be mostly broken on Monday for not lifting with the legs.  LOL.   

Rapport and Belonging

When we think about living our company expectations, one thing that often gets overlooked is how essential it is to build rapport within the team (and across organizational boundaries).   

Rapport by definition is a close relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well. 

One can see rapport in a team as there are personal connections that are evident.  The team knows each other, hobbies, family, favorite programming language 😉 maybe even career goals. There is laughing at team meetings.  And, when new members join, they are acclimated quickly.

Rapport is important as it is a foundational step in moving to Belonging.  NOTE:  I know I sent information out a few Thursday Thoughts ago about Belonging but will reshare it here.

Belonging is being part of a team where opinions are respected and valued.  Where team members feel seen and heard.  And there is trust in the team.  A trust that leads to team members being able to share freely their thoughts.  Imaging collaborative sessions where everyone contributes equally, knowing their input matters.  That is what belonging is. 

And, honestly, don’t we all want to be part of a team where we belong?  Where we, as members of the team, are valued?  Where the team lift other team members up rather than pull them down?   I do.  My best years at the company were the times when I worked with a team without ego.  Where I belonged and knew that the team valued my contributions.  Times when the team helped me through difficult professional and personal times. 

Rapport is essential as it leads to belonging.  Belonging is key because it enables an environment where team members can:

1. Embrace Candor
2. Do What’s Right
3. Be Great at Execution
4. Learn and Grow
5. Champion Diversity, Equity and Inclusion

All five are equally essential in living our company expectations.

Take a moment and think about rapport and belonging.  If you are comfortable sharing, please let me know where our team can improve on building rapport and ensuring belonging.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

Surround Yourself with the Best People

Happy Thursday!

This week was so very busy and it didn’t help that I took some time off on Tuesday and Thursday.  However, that time was absolutely priceless and I had two amazing adventures.  Let me share...

The first, Tuesday, October 17, I had two friends come up to Lincoln.  Now what is special is these are two of my oldest friends … 40+ year old friendships.  Julia flew in from Jacksonville, Florida and Jill surprised us by dying her dark brown hair blonde.  Jill and Julia were friends who when I was in my early teens showed me what true friendship is.  (Left to Right:  Stacy and Jill making fish faces @ Trianon Ball in 1984; Jill, Stacy, and Julia grabbing lunch at a local winery in 2023; a great attempt at a pyramid with Julie, me, (another friend Kelly), and Jill on the bottom in 1983)

On the second, October 19, I was able to put in 4 hours of community support by representing FieldHaven Feline Center at a California Public Employee (CalPers) event.  The event offers CalPers employees to make payroll donations to local nonprofits who they learn about at the event.   So, I donned the cat ears and talked cat non-stop for four hours with CalPers employees.  I mean, basically, the universe was doing me a favor because I can talk cats to anyone!  The event was a success with 9 new volunteers connected to our volunteer coordinator, a few individuals asking about estate planning, and over 50 grabbing payroll donation information.  On the way home, I stopped by the shelter and was able to love on some cats in FieldHaven’s care including a few elderly cats and the community semi-feral / feral cats in Bucks Barn. (Left to Right:  Board Members (Mariah, me, and Preston) manning the table (top), FieldHaven summer promo t-shirt “Summer of Fluff” (middle), me although you can’t see my cat ears (bottom), information table w/snack bowl (right).

Sharing these two adventures is a great reminder of the importance of taking your time off when you have the opportunity to do so.  Also, to make friends with people who want the absolute best for you (read more below). 😊

Surround Yourself with the Best People

As Jill, Julia and I were talking about our friendship one thing kept coming up – how lucky we were to find each other at such vulnerable times in our lives. 

When Jill, Julia and I met, we all had been uprooted or received news that was unsettling.  I had just moved from Salt Lake City, Utah to Sacramento, California.  Julia had just moved from Clearlake, California to Sacramento, California and Jill had just found out that she was adopted.  I was the youngest of the three.  Julia was two years older (Freshman) and Jill was four years older (Junior) than me.  But age and level in school didn’t matter, in fact, none of us went to the same =because our connection was immediate. 

What brought us together was we all participated in a service organization for young women.  Our service organization focused on raising funds for service dogs for individuals with hearing or sight challenges. 

What kept us together was we truly wanted the best for each other, and we helped each other through the challenging times.  I have described it before as simply this: our friendship was solidified because each of us invested in the success of the other.  As my life improved, the others improved.  We were intentional in the support of each other’s goals and could expect honest feedback if any of us got off track.  When Jill got a full scholarship to the University of Arizona, Julia and I celebrated the accomplishment.  There was no jealousy or competition between us, just the desire for us all to meet our goals.  There, of course, was a lot of laughter and young girl antics that are happy memories of youth.   

I read somewhere that when people come into your life, you can determine whether or not they are friend material by asking yourself if you would want them to be a friend to your sister, your father, or your son.  That certainly is a great test for whether you would invite that individual into your life or if you keep them at the periphery as an acquaintance.   The caution here is not making that decision without the time to truly know the person’s character and make the determination.  As humans, we are quick to close doors instead of keeping a door open for enough time to ascertain who the person is and what their motivation is.    

I think the other challenge sometimes is not investing in people because they may be in a state of transition.  One of my dearest friends I met when she was on contract with Wells Fargo for only six months under a Deloitte SoW.   If I had thought of her as temporary, I would have missed a friendship that has spanned 10 years now.  With this said, I do know that sometimes friends come in for seasons and then are gone.  I don’t think there is a correlation between depth of friendship and length of friendship, only attempting to encourage embracing friendship when the gift is presented and proves itself worthy. 

Would love to hear your friend's stories.  Heck, share pictures too.  As humans, connection is so important, and having someone who you can be your full authentic self with is essential.  Each of you is so wonderful that I wish this for each of you and for you to be surrounded by people who truly want the best for you.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

“Our habits govern our lives, literally.”

Happy Thursday!

I know that last month we officially entered into Fall, but this week we officially entered into the fourth quarter of 2023.  Not sure where the year went, but these next three months are critical to end 2023 strong.  

Sharing a picture of a favorite quote of mine that has long been hung on my office wall:  "Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go." - unknown  

While you don't need to wait until Autumn, it is a good reminder to let go of the things that are weighing you down.  Anger, comparison, resentment, jealousy, possessions, and even grief can make you feel heavy with burden.  Let's walk into Autumn with our colors rich and vibrant and leave behind anything that does not serve a purpose of goodness in our lives.  slightly smiling face

This upcoming Monday, the United States will be celebrating Indigenous Peoples’ Day.  An important day for Americans as it recognizes the communities that lived in the Americas for thousands of years.  President Biden said this about this year’s celebration, Indigenous Peoples’ Day is intended to “honor the sovereignty, resilience and immense contributions that Native Americans have made to the world.”  He then shared the need to continue to help lift tribal communities, be advocates for their right to vote and help with access to opportunities. 

“Our habits govern our lives, literally.” 

Agree or disagree, that is the premise behind a Harvard Business Review article called "What Does It Really Take to Build a New Habit?" By Kristi DePaul. 

Research shows that about half of our daily actions and behaviors are driven by repetition.

If habits – good or bad – are driving our daily actions, then it is important that we address them as part of our self-improvement plan.  Don’t you agree?

Think about habits you have around basic things like:

• what time do you go to bed
• how often you exercise
• what you choose to eat
• your practice of mindfulness
• your meeting (or not meeting) of deadlines
• your organization skills
• what time management practices you have in place

These practices if done well and regularly, can improve work, relationships, and mental health according to the research.

I imagine, like me, you have identified areas that might benefit from improvement. 

As I think about exercise and diet, I always come back to the need for incremental change because despite Staple’s advertising there is NO easy button. 

What the article also taught me is that there is a difference between a habit and a routine. 

A habit is something we do without thinking.  A routine is something we commit to.  And, the good news is routines if they are regularly performed can evolve into habits. 

Much like Fall is a season for change, I encourage you all to look at your habits determine where improvement is needed, and commit to addressing it.  Either through building routines or acknowledgement that to evolve something needs to change.   Heck, I would also encourage you to add it to your development plan if it impacts your work life.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt 

REFERENCE:  

DePaul, Kristi.  February 2, 2021.  What Does It Really Take to Build a New Habit?  Harvard Business Review.  http://www.hbr.org.