Vulnerability

Brené Brown has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. The first five years of her study focused on shame and empathy. She is now taking that learning to explore a concept that she calls “wholeheartedness”.

Last year, a friend introduced me to a Ted Talk by researcher professor, Brené Brown. Upon recommendation, my friend told me to “move beyond the title” and just watch the video. That was when I knew I was in trouble. Yep, there was going to be a message for me within the video.

The title of the Ted Talk was “The Power of Vulnerability”. My thoughts went between “um, okay” to ““Really?” to “No chance in …” to “If I get a free moment.” But, I did watch the video and 20 minutes later I understood why she had recommended it to me.

Brown describes herself as a “researcher storyteller” who studies the human connection. In the Ted Talk, Brown talks about her “slugfest” with vulnerability and the journey to understand courage, authenticity and shame in a world that thrives on controlling and predicting. Brown says, “And now my mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting.” AHHHH! If you have seen my pantry, you know I enjoy a degree of control and predict … so letting go was CRAZY TALK! Or was it?

In our world that focuses on our imperfections, how does one find the courage to embrace vulnerability in order to find authenticity and worthiness? And, how do we build a culture of compassion to connect with others and share the message that we are all worthy. We all belong. And, we all deserve joy.

Now it is your turn.

Get beyond the title.

Watch the video.

There is a message within uniquely for you.

TED Talks: The Power of Vulnerability http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

The Importance of Integrity and Honesty



Are you able to communicate bad news to your boss? Do you confront difficult problems directly and promptly? Are you assertive enough to stand up for what you believe, even if it is not the popular position?

My company's Vision and Values says that our ethics are the sum of all the decisions each of us makes every day. That isn’t just about what you say, but what you do. This is important in our industry because everything we do is built on trust. It doesn’t happen with one transaction, in one day on the job or one quarter. It’s earned relationship by relationship.

In the book, Leadership Challenge, authors James Kouzes and Barry Posner discuss beginning research thirty plus years ago on what team members expect of leaders. They started by surveying thousand of executives using a simple open ended question (“What values, personal traits, or characteristics do you look for and admire in a leader?”). They received several hundred different values, traits and characteristics. Independent judging coupled with empirical analysis enabled the content to be reduced to a list of twenty characteristics.

Characteristics of Admired Leaders

Ambitious
Cooperative
Fair minded
Independent
Mature
Broad Minded
Courageous
Forward Looking
Inspiring
Self Controlled
Caring
Dependable
Honest
Intelligent
Straightforward
Competent
Determined
Imaginative
Loyal
Supportive

This checklist was then distributed and respondents are asked to check the seven qualities that they “most look for and admire in a leader, someone whose direction they would willingly follow.” An interesting result is that since the early 80’s while every characteristic typically gets a vote, there are a handful that lead in votes time after time. They are: Honest, Forward Looking, Inspiring and Competent.

Of the four, honesty is reported as the characteristic that is chosen most. In fact, the study shows that it is the single most important factor in the leader—team member relationship. Not surprising, after all, we don’t want our leader to lie to us or deceive us. We want leaders who tell us the truth, even when the truth is hard to tell. Honesty is tightly bound to integrity. We want leaders who know right from wrong. We want to be led, not misled. We want victory, through hard work not through deceit. In the end, we want to work hard for someone who displays integrity and honesty and we know that through their role modeling, we are motivated to practice integrity and honesty.

Now, go back through the paragraph above and replace “we” with “I” and “us” to “me”. Making it personal affords for self reflection. And, admit it, we all want to work for, work with and be team members who practice integrity and honesty. A reward in doing so is having significant impact in your organization and living by the company’s values.

Here are some ideas that other leaders identified on how to display high integrity and honesty.


Find your voice by clarifying your personal values.
Avoid saying one thing and doing another. Remember to walk the talk!
Follow through on promises and commitments.
Lead by example. Model the core values! Convey an attitude of concern and caring.
Answer questions truthfully!
Don’t over promise.
Create and promote a culture of trust that contributes to the success of individuals, teams and the organization as a whole.
Don’t just act the part. Live YOUR legacy!
Stand up for your beliefs and convictions regardless of consequences.
Apologize when you make a mistake. Bleed integrity.


As you make integrity and honesty a focus, I would love to hear your successes or please share your experience at our next team meeting for shared learning.

Celebrating Our Heroes

In 1954, when November 11th was officially named Veterans Day, President Dwight D. Eisenhower called upon all citizens to join hands in a common purpose – to “solemnly remember the sacrifices of all those who fought so valiantly on the seas, in the air, and on foreign shores, to preserve our heritage of freedom.”

With Veteran’s Day a national holiday on November 11, many people don’t know that the United States Marine Corps Birthday is celebrated every year on November 10 (the official found date of the Continental Marines in 1775). This year, “Mother Green” is celebrating her 238 year birthday.

Celebrating the Marine Corps birthday and Veteran’s Day has always been personal to my family. Many of my family members have served in the armed forces (Uncle Mike, Uncle John and Randy) and two of my uncles were U.S. Marines. My Uncle Butch (Harry N. Rea) served in Vietnam and received two purple hearts and the Vietnam Cross of Gallantry. He also was a Marine Corp. Guard at the United States Embassy in Vienna, Austria. My Uncle Bobby (Robert A. Rea) also served as a Marine Combat Correspondent during the Vietnam War with Dale Dye and the Snuffies. They were amazing men and I regret that their lives ended before my boys could meet them and hear their stories.

As you honor our veterans this year, take time to thank a veteran. Also consider joining your local Veteran’s Team Member Network (TMN) or support active military through Soldier’s Angels (soldiersangels.org). As General Colin L. Powel, USA (Ret.) said, remember when you wake up on November 12, “it’s still Veterans Day for our veterans — and it will be every day of their lives.”

Thank you for letting me share,
Stacy

* Celebrating Our Heroes http://www.pbs.org/national-salute-to-veterans/home/
**Snuffies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_weq3yda920