Be Your Own Best Friend: The Power of Speaking to Yourself with Kindness

Be Kinder to Yourself: How to Use the Best Friend Test for Stronger Self-Talk

Have you ever caught yourself thinking things you’d never say out loud... especially not to your best friend?

“I’m such an idiot.”
“I’ll never get this right.”
“Why can’t I be better?”

If those phrases sound familiar, you’re not alone. Negative self-talk is common, but it’s also incredibly damaging. The way you speak to yourself shapes your confidence, your mindset, and even your motivation. It’s time to change the conversation.

The Way You Speak to Yourself Matters

Self-talk—your internal dialogue—has real power. It influences how you see the world, how you respond to challenges, and how you recover from setbacks. But here’s the truth: being hard on yourself doesn’t make you tougher. More often, it chips away at your resilience and your belief in your own abilities.

Now think about how you speak to your best friend. When they mess up, do you call them a failure? Of course not. You encourage them. You help them reframe their thinking. You remind them of their strengths. That kind of compassion helps them grow.

So why not offer the same to yourself?

Try the Best Friend Test

When you’re stuck in negative self-talk, pause and ask:

• Would I say this to my best friend?

• Would this help them feel stronger, or make them feel worse?

• What would I say instead to support them?

Chances are, the version of you who speaks to your best friend is more thoughtful, more supportive, and a lot more helpful than the one who speaks to you. That’s the voice you need to turn inward.

Kindness Isn’t Weakness

Let’s clear something up: being kind to yourself doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook or ignoring your mistakes. It means holding yourself accountable without tearing yourself down.

It’s the difference between “I messed that up, I’ll do better next time” and “I’m such a failure.”

Self-kindness fuels growth. It gives you the space to learn, to reflect, and to bounce back stronger.

Why This Matters

Research shows that self-compassion is linked to lower levels of anxiety and depression, higher emotional resilience, and increased motivation. When you're kind to yourself, you're more likely to take healthy risks, learn from failure, and stay focused on your goals.

Self-kindness also builds honesty. You stop avoiding your flaws because you know you can face them without shame. And that’s when real change becomes possible—not because you fear judgment, but because you believe you’re worth the effort.

How to Start Being Kinder to Yourself

Here are four practical ways to shift your self-talk:

1. Catch your inner critic. Start noticing when the negative voice shows up. Awareness is the first step.

2. Reframe it. Ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend in this moment?”

3. Use daily affirmations. Keep them simple and true. Try: “I’m doing my best.” “I’m learning.” “I deserve compassion.”

4. Celebrate small wins. Give yourself credit. Treat your progress like it matters... because it does.

Your Inner Voice Sets the Tone

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for every other relationship in your life. If you want to feel more confident, more supported, and more at peace, start by becoming your own best friend.

You already know how to speak with love, patience, and encouragement—you do it for others all the time. Now it’s time to give that same grace to yourself.

And here’s the best part: when you speak kindly to yourself, you inspire those around you to do the same. That’s the kind of ripple effect worth starting.

You deserve it.

Happy Thursday, everyone!

-srt

Are You Leading Like a Boss or Like a Coach?

The titles may sound interchangeable, but the mindset behind each one is vastly different—and the impact on your team? Transformational.

We’ve all heard phrases like “be the boss,” “take charge,” or “own the room.” These are great if you’re commanding a scene in a movie. But in today’s workplace, people don’t want a commander—they want a connector. Someone who leads not just with authority, but with intention, empathy, and empowerment. That’s the difference between boss leadership and coaching leadership.

So, which one are you?

The Boss Mindset: Control & Direction

Bosses tend to focus on outcomes and control. They give instructions, expect compliance, and often lead from a top-down, hierarchical approach.

Signs You’re Leading Like a Boss:

• You make all the decisions.
• You prioritize output over development.
• You lead with authority, not curiosity.
• You reward results but rarely ask how they were achieved.
• You say, “Get it done,” more than, “How can I support you?”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with being a boss—decisiveness, clarity, and direction are all vital. But if that’s where your leadership stops, you may be stifling innovation, autonomy, and growth.

The Coaching Mindset: Empower & Grow

Coaches ask questions. They challenge, guide, and cheer. They lead with a mindset of development over dominance.

Signs You’re Leading Like a Coach:

• You involve your team in decision-making.
• You ask more than you tell.
• You give feedback aimed at growth, not guilt.
• You celebrate effort and learning, not just the final result.
• You view mistakes as part of the process, not as a threat to control.

Coaching leaders build resilient teams. They create environments where people are trusted to stretch, fail, learn, and improve. The coach isn’t above the team—they’re alongside them, invested in their journey.

Why This Shift Matters

We are no longer leading workforces from the industrial era. Today’s teams are more diverse, more dynamic, and more driven by purpose than paycheck. A coach-style leader doesn’t just drive performance—they drive engagement, creativity, and long-term loyalty.

When you lead like a coach:

• Innovation increases because people feel safe to try.
• Productivity rises because team members own their work.
• Retention improves because people stay where they feel seen.

Making the Shift from Boss to Coach

If you find yourself defaulting to boss mode, don’t panic. Leadership is a muscle—how you strengthen it is what counts. Here are a few ways to build your coaching mindset:

• Ask open-ended questions. Instead of “Why didn’t you do this?” try “What do you think got in the way?”
• Give feedback often, not just during reviews.
• Celebrate learning moments, not just outcomes.
• Have one-on-ones focused on development, not just updates.
• Create a culture of curiosity, not control.

At the end of the day, you don’t have to choose between results and relationships. The best leaders blend both—driving performance while nurturing potential.

So ask yourself: Are you leading like a boss who commands, or a coach who cultivates?

The answer could change not just your leadership style—but your entire team’s trajectory.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

You Don’t Need a Title to Be a Leader

When we hear the word leader, most of us picture someone with a corner office, a big title, or authority over people. 

But here’s the truth:  Leadership isn’t a title. It’s a mindset.

You don’t need a SVP badge, a manager role, or a nameplate on the door to make an impact. Some of the most influential people in any organization aren’t the ones at the top of the org chart—they’re the ones who show up, speak up, and lift others up.

Leadership is About Influence, Not Authority

At its core, leadership is about how you show up for others and how you help drive momentum—especially when no one is watching. You lead when you:

• Speak up for what’s right—even when it’s hard.
• Take initiative—before you’re asked.
• Support your teammates—instead of competing with them.
• Offer solutions—instead of just pointing out problems.
• Stay grounded during chaos—becoming a calm in the storm.

These are the quiet moments of leadership that rarely show up in performance reviews but have a powerful ripple effect.

                                                        Read more here. 

The Myth of “Someday Leadership”

Too many people wait to lead until someone gives them permission. They think, “Once I get that title, then I’ll really step up.” But that mindset puts your potential in someone else’s hands.

Leadership isn’t a reward you earn after years of loyalty—it’s a daily choice.

You lead when you choose courage over comfort.

You lead when you serve, not when you’re served.

You lead when you bring others with you, not when you leave them behind.

                                                    Read more here. 

Be the Leader You Wish You Had

One of the most empowering things you can do is become the kind of leader you’ve always admired. That might mean:

• Giving credit where it’s due.
• Creating space for others to shine.
• Listening more than you speak.
• Asking, “How can I help?” instead of “What’s in it for me?”

You don’t need to change your role. You just need to change your reach.

                                                    Read more here. 

Real Leaders Create Culture

Culture doesn’t come from the top down—it spreads through consistent behavior, trust, and example. People don’t follow titles. They follow authenticity, values, and action.

So if you’re someone who:

• Shows up with integrity,
• Cares about people,
• Looks for ways to make things better…

You’re already leading.

                                                    Read more here. 

Own Your Impact and Lead 

Titles may give you authority on paper. But real leadership—the kind that changes people, teams, and organizations—starts without fanfare. It starts with you.

• Lead where you are.
• Lead with what you have.
• Lead because someone is watching—and you might be the example they need

You don’t need a title to be a leader.  You just need the courage to act like one.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

The Myth of Someday Leadership

“One day, when I get the title…”

“Once I’m in charge, then I’ll speak up…”

“After I’ve been here long enough, I’ll take the lead…”

Sound familiar?

That’s the myth of someday leadership—the idea that leadership is something we step into later, once we’ve checked enough boxes, climbed high enough, or been given permission.

It’s a trap. And it’s holding too many people back from their full potential.

Waiting for Permission Is a Silent Career Killer

Leadership doesn’t begin with a title. It begins with a choice. Every single day, you have the opportunity to lead right where you are. You don’t need a job description that says “Manager” to influence change, inspire others, or drive results.

And yet, so many talented, capable people hesitate—waiting for “someday” to arrive.

But here’s the truth:

Someday is a moving target.

There’s no invitation. No announcement. No golden moment where someone taps your shoulder and says, “You’re ready now.”

You’re ready the moment you decide to show up like a leader.

Leadership Is a Behavior, Not a Badge

Leadership is not about power or control—it’s about ownership, mindset, and impact.

You’re leading when you:

• Take initiative without being asked
• Set the tone in meetings through positivity and presence
• Offer feedback that helps the team grow
• Act with integrity, even when it’s inconvenient
• Ask, “How can I help?” instead of “What’s in it for me?”

These actions don’t require authority. They require awareness.

The Danger of “Someday Thinking”

Waiting for the right moment to lead does three dangerous things:

1. It delays your growth.

You can’t develop leadership muscles if you never use them. Waiting until you’re “in charge” to learn how to lead is like waiting until race day to start training.

2. It stifles your voice.

If you’re always holding back your ideas, your perspective, and your contributions, your value remains invisible.

3. It gives your power away.

True leadership comes from within, not from someone else granting you a title.

Start Leading Now—No Title Required

If you want to be a great leader someday, start being a good one today. Build trust. Create clarity. Influence by example. Encourage others. Raise your hand.

Don’t wait to become the leader you’re meant to be. Be it now.

• Lead the meeting when no one else will.
• Mentor someone who’s struggling.
• Speak up when something doesn’t feel right.
• Champion new ideas, even if they aren’t yours.

Final Thought: “Someday” Is Today

The myth of someday leadership is just that—a myth. Leadership isn’t given. It’s chosen. Not once, but every day.

So ask yourself:

What are you waiting for?

You don’t need a new role. You need a new mindset.

Lead now. Grow now. The world doesn’t need more titles—it needs more leaders.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt