When the Fire Isn’t Yours to Put Out: Dealing with Misdirected Rage and Protecting Your Sanity

We’ve all been there...caught in the crossfire of someone else’s anger that has nothing to do with us. Maybe it’s a partner snapping after a long day, a coworker venting frustration in your direction, or a friend lashing out when they’re really upset about something else entirely.

When rage is misdirected, it can feel personal, confusing, and even a little crazy-making. But here’s the truth: just because someone throws fire your way doesn’t mean you have to catch it.

What Is Misdirected Rage?

Misdirected rage happens when someone takes out their anger or frustration on an innocent party usually because the real source of their anger feels too risky, complicated, or buried to confront directly. It’s often unconscious. But just because they don’t mean to direct their fire at you doesn’t mean it’s okay—or that you have to absorb it.

The Emotional Toll

Being on the receiving end of misdirected anger can:

• Damage your self-esteem
• Leave you feeling confused or guilty for no reason
• Trigger your own anxiety or anger
• Undermine your trust in the relationship

Which is why it’s so important to respond with awareness and boundaries—not reaction.

How to Protect Yourself and Keep Your Sanity

1. Recognize It’s Not About You

First and foremost: Don’t take it personally. It may feel personal—especially if it’s directed at you—but misdirected rage is usually about what’s going on inside them, not something you did. Remind yourself: “This isn’t mine.”

2. Pause Before Responding

When someone lashes out, your instinct might be to defend yourself or snap back. Try to pause instead. Take a breath. Step back emotionally, and assess: “Is this really about me?”

Reacting with equal anger often just escalates the situation and drains your energy.

3. Set Firm Boundaries

You are not a punching bag, emotional or otherwise. It’s okay to say:

• “I can see you’re upset, but I’m not okay with being spoken to this way.”
• “I’m happy to talk when you’re calm, but I’m stepping away for now.”
• “I want to support you, but I won’t absorb your anger.”

Boundaries are not punishments—they are protection. They create space for mutual respect.

4. Don’t Try to Fix Them

You may want to soothe them, reason with them, or “be the bigger person” by staying silent. But enabling bad behavior doesn’t help them grow, it just teaches them that it’s okay to treat you this way.

You are responsible for your response, not their emotions.

5. Create Emotional Distance if Needed

If the misdirected rage is frequent or intense, you may need to create more space:

• Limit time with the person
• Avoid triggering topics (if known)
• Keep conversations surface-level for your own safety

Protecting your peace doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you strong.

6. Debrief with Someone Safe

Being on the receiving end of someone’s misplaced anger can shake you up. Talk to a friend, therapist, or journal your thoughts. Getting it out of your head helps you process and regain your grounding.

7. Know When to Walk Away

If misdirected rage becomes a pattern, if it's abusive, or if your boundaries are continuously disrespected, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Love, loyalty, or history are not good enough reasons to stay in a situation that chips away at your well-being.

Protect YOUR Peace

You are not responsible for other people’s unresolved pain, unprocessed anger, or emotional outbursts. Being a compassionate person doesn’t mean being a sponge for someone else’s fury.

Protecting your peace is not weakness, it’s wisdom. You can care about someone and still refuse to be collateral damage in their emotional storm. Let them deal with their fire; you don’t have to burn to prove you love them.

Happy Thursday lovelies,

-srt

P.S. If you’re dealing with someone whose anger feels unpredictable or overwhelming, and you're not sure how to protect yourself without feeling guilty, I can help you create a clear boundary plan or communication script. Just say the word.

#EmotionalIntelligence #Boundaries #ProtectYourPeace #RespondDontReact #ConflictResolution #SelfAwareness #WorkplaceWellness #ToxicBehavior #MentalWellness #HealthyBoundaries #ReaCoaching&Consulting

The CALM Technique: A Practical Tool for Handling Difficult Conversations with Grace

We’ve all been there...

You’re in a meeting or a one-on-one conversation, and tension suddenly spikes.    Voices raise. Words sting. You feel your body tighten, your pulse race, and your clarity fade.

In these moments, how you respond matters just as much, if not more, than what you say.

That’s where the CALM Technique comes in.

This simple, powerful method helps you de-escalate emotionally charged interactions and communicate with confidence, even under pressure.

What Is the CALM Technique?

CALM is an acronym that stands for:

• C - Center Yourself
• A - Acknowledge Without Agreeing
• L - Limit the Discussion to the Issue at Hand
• M - Move Forward Mindfully

Whether you're dealing with a defensive coworker, a confrontational board member, or a heated email thread, CALM helps you hold your ground without losing your cool.

Let’s break it down.

1. C - Center Yourself

Before responding, pause.
Take a breath.
Get grounded.

In a high-stress moment, your nervous system may go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Centering yourself is about disrupting that automatic reaction so you can choose a thoughtful response instead.

How to center yourself in the moment:

• Inhale slowly through your nose, exhale through your mouth.
• Plant your feet on the ground. Feel the chair beneath you.
• Internally say: “I’m safe. I can handle this.” Or my personal favorite, "I can do hard things."  (Thank you Glennon Doyle)

This pause gives you the power to respond, not react.

2. A - Acknowledge Without Agreeing

Acknowledging someone’s emotion or point of view doesn’t mean you agree with them. It means you're signaling that you're listening and that’s often enough to reduce defensiveness.

Examples:

• “I can see this is important to you.”
• “It sounds like you’ve been frustrated by this.”
• “I hear you.”

When people feel seen, they stop shouting to be heard.

This step isn’t about validating a toxic behavior, it’s about lowering the emotional temperature, so dialogue becomes possible.

3. L - Limit the Discussion to the Issue at Hand

In tense moments, conversations can spiral quickly. Suddenly you’re discussing everything that’s ever gone wrong, from the current disagreement to that email from three months ago.

CALM reminds you to stay on topic.

Try saying:

• “Let’s focus on this specific issue for now.”
• “I want to make sure we address what’s happening today.”
• “That’s important too ... let’s come back to that once we resolve this.”

By keeping the conversation focused, you create boundaries around the issue and protect the discussion from becoming overwhelming or unproductive.

4. M - Move Forward Mindfully

Once things are calmer, focus on progress. What’s the next right step?

Mindful movement forward doesn’t mean rushing to resolution or pretending everything’s fine. It means intentionally choosing your next move from a place of clarity—not emotion.

Ask yourself:

• “What outcome do I want from this?”
• “What’s one thing we can do next?”
• “What’s the most respectful, direct path forward?”

Mindfulness is about staying present, intentional, and values-aligned—even when others aren’t.

Why CALM Works

Because it’s not about controlling the other person, it’s about controlling yourself.

Tense interactions can trigger our ego, fear, or the desire to "win" the argument. But CALM shifts the focus inward. It gives you the tools to:

• Stay composed
• Speak clearly
• Protect your peace
• Lead with integrity

And when you stay calm, you create space for others to meet you there, too.

Final Thoughts

Difficult conversations are a part of life especially in leadership, team dynamics, or community work.

But conflict doesn’t have to mean chaos.

Next time you feel the tension rising, take a breath and try the CALM technique. You’ll be surprised how quickly things shift when you lead with clarity instead of combativeness.

Remember:  You don’t need to match someone’s intensity to make your point.

Stay CALM.  Stay grounded.  Speak with intention.

Happy Thursday Lovelies,

-srt 

P.S. Want a printable CALM cheat sheet for your desk or team? Let me know, I’m happy to share one!

#EmotionalIntelligence #ConflictResolution #LeadershipTools #CommunicationSkills #ProfessionalDevelopment #CALMTechnique #WorkplaceWellness #ReaCoaching&Consulting

Life After Corporate America: Redefining Purpose in a New Chapter

Seven months ago, I walked away from Corporate America and into retirement, or so I thought. I promised myself I would finally take it easy. No more back-to-back meetings, constant deadlines, or endless flights. Just time to breathe.

But here’s the truth, I’ve never been very good at “taking it easy.” What I’ve discovered is that retirement isn’t about slowing down, it’s about redirecting energy into the things that light you up and give life meaning.

Teaching and Shaping the Next Generation

One of the most rewarding surprises has been stepping into higher education. I teach at William Jessup University (online, undergraduate, and graduate courses) within the School of Business. Preparing students for their careers, whether in the private or public sector, reminds me that leadership isn’t just about what we achieve ourselves, but how we prepare others to thrive. Watching students grow in confidence and competence has been a gift.

What makes this chapter even more meaningful is that I can bring my full self to work. At Jessup, that means being able to openly live my faith, to pray with and for people, to share my testimony, and to create space for authentic connection. For the first time in my career, I feel I can be completely myself, and that authenticity has been both freeing and fulfilling.

Life on the Property, Goose Meets Duck

Not all my adventures have been in the classroom. Last time I shared that we hatched a goose, CaliGrl. Well, she’s grown into her own personality and still rules the property. Recently, Daisy the rescued mallard arrived, and much to CaliGrl’s dismay (or delight), Daisy has decided she’s found her new best friend.

And they’re not alone. Forty-two chickens, twenty-eight guinea fowl, twenty-two quails, a goose, and a duck make for some “fowl weathered” friends who keep us busy with daily care. Add to that twenty fruit trees that demand attention but reward us with jams, jellies, and syrup, and a garden that produces year-round, and it’s safe to say that life on the property is full, fruitful, and anything but quiet.

Life lessons come from unexpected places, and this lively mix of animals and harvest reminds me daily of resilience, consistency, and the joy of reaping what you sow.

Just as the land requires daily tending and rewards us with abundance, life at home has entered a new season too.

Becoming an Empty Nester

As much as the property keeps us busy, the house feels different these days. Son number three recently “flew the coop,” officially making us empty nesters. Each of my boys is finding his own path, and I couldn’t be prouder. One son is moving to the University of Oregon to pursue his doctorate, another will be graduating this fall, and the youngest is brewing up coffees as he works toward joining the fire service.

Watching them chase their dreams has been both bittersweet and inspiring, a reminder that just like the seasons on our property, life keeps moving forward, and each stage brings its own growth and reward.

Leading and Serving with Purpose

Another passion of mine has always been service. I am humbled to be serving my second and final term as President of Soroptimist International of Lincoln. Our mission, helping women and girls dream big, keeps me grounded in what truly matters. Empowerment begins with opportunity, and it’s a privilege to help create those opportunities. If you live in the Lincoln area and want to know more about being a Soroptimist, shoot me an email at stacyreathomas@gmail.com.

I’ve also joined the board of a nonprofit focused on foster children (programs for all ages). This work is close to my heart, and I’ll share more in the months ahead. What I know already is that making a difference doesn’t require a corporate title, it requires commitment and compassion.

A New Venture, Rea’s Coaching and Consulting

Perhaps the most exciting step has been establishing my own company, Rea’s Coaching and Consulting. This new chapter allows me to pour years of experience into something deeply personal. Leadership, communication, and career development are more than professional skills, they are lifelines for growth, confidence, and impact. Guiding others through coaching feels less like work and more like purpose. And focusing on small to medium businesses, individually owned, melts my heart.

Admittedly, I have been slow on marketing and getting online, but know it is coming. In fact, I already have two clients! More to come here and a formal launch in the next few months.

The Lesson in All of This

Retirement doesn’t mean “the end.” It means choice. It’s the opportunity to design a chapter that reflects who you are, what you care about, and how you want to give back.

For me, it has meant stepping into roles that combine joy, challenge, service, and faith. I have learned that true fulfillment comes when we align our lives with our values and live authentically, not just in what we do, but in who we are. This season has also taught me that God doesn’t waste experiences. Every chapter, from Corporate America to classrooms and chicken coops, has prepared me for what’s next.

So, if you’re standing at the edge of retirement (or even just dreaming about it), I encourage you to see it not as closing a book, but as starting a new one. The title is yours to write, and when you write it with purpose, faith, and authenticity, it becomes a life well-lived.

What about you? What chapter are you ready to write? 

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

#Leadership #Coaching #CareerGrowth #FaithAtWork #WomenEmpowerment #Authenticity #LifeAfterCorporateAmerica #ReaCoaching&Consulting

Surviving the Two-Face: How to Stay Sane When a Coworker or Volunteer Teammate Is Privately Cruel but Publicly Charming

Let’s talk about one of the most disorienting and emotionally exhausting experiences, working or volunteering with someone who clearly doesn’t like you, yet wears a mask of kindness in front of everyone else.

They smile sweetly in meetings, laugh with the team, and project warmth to the world. But behind closed doors? Passive-aggressive comments. Cold shoulders. Undermining. Maybe even manipulation.

It’s like dealing with two different people: publicly perfect, privately punishing. And it can make you question your sanity, your worth, and your sense of belonging.

So, whether this person is in your office or on your nonprofit board, how do you survive? Here's how.

1. Validate Your Experience (You're Not Imagining It)

The first step is simple but powerful: trust yourself.

People like this often gaslight by omission. Because they're so charming to others, no one believes they could act the way they do behind closed doors. This can make you second-guess yourself:
“Maybe it’s not that bad.”
“Maybe I’m too sensitive.”

You’re not.

Cruelty wrapped in politeness is still cruelty. Just because it’s subtle or strategic doesn’t make it any less harmful.

2. Document Everything

If this person is undermining you—through backhanded emails, sabotaged work, or private put-downs—keep a record. Document the date, time, what was said or done, and who was present.

This isn’t about revenge. It’s about protection. If things escalate or you need to report their behavior, you’ll have a factual trail to back you up.

If you’re in a volunteer setting, this becomes even more critical since there’s likely no formal “manager” to whom you can report the behavior. The documentation will be your safeguard if things get worse and you need to speak up or step away.

Keep your notes objective, clear, and professional.

3. Don’t Take the Bait

People like this often thrive on reaction. They want you to look defensive or unstable in front of others—so they can keep their halo while you look like the problem.

Here’s your mantra:
“I will not be pulled into their drama.”

Stay calm. Stay factual. Don’t try to expose them in the heat of the moment. It won’t work—and it may backfire.

Your strength lies in your composure.

4. Set Boundaries Without Playing Their Game

You don’t need to be best friends. You don’t even need to pretend everything is fine. But you can keep your communication:

• Professional

• Short

• Clear

• Polite, but firm

Examples:

• “Let’s stick to the agenda.”

• “I’ll follow up by email.”

• “I’d prefer to keep this in writing.”

Distance doesn’t mean weakness—it means you’re choosing not to engage on their toxic terms.

In a volunteer setting, where there might not be a direct superior to manage dynamics, boundary-setting becomes even more essential. Be polite, but don’t let anyone trample on your time, energy, or respect.

5. Find Allies—Quietly

You’re probably not the only person who’s noticed this behavior. Often, people like Beatrice have a pattern. Be observant. Over time, others may start to see the cracks in the façade.

Build relationships with coworkers or fellow volunteers who are emotionally safe. You don’t need to gossip or complain—just surround yourself with people who energize you, not drain you.

Having even one ally can make a toxic environment feel survivable.

In a volunteer role, allies may not always be obvious—so make sure to form a quiet, supportive network with others who value respect and positivity. They can help you regain perspective, especially if there's no official HR or manager to back you up.

6. Talk to HR, or Speak to Leadership (When It’s Time)

If the behavior becomes unbearable or affects your ability to do your job, it’s appropriate to escalate—especially if it crosses into bullying, harassment, or targeted sabotage.

When you do, be calm, specific, and prepared with documentation. Stick to facts, not feelings:

• “On X date, she said Y.”

• “This has affected Z project.”

• “I’d like to find a way to create a healthier work environment.”

In an office setting, there are clear channels for escalation—like HR or your manager. However, in a volunteer situation, things may not be as straightforward. You might not have formal leadership to report to, or the board may be made up of volunteers who are trying to balance their commitment with their personal lives.

In this case, consider finding an appropriate way to express your concerns. It might be more about having a direct conversation with the person in charge, whether that’s a fellow board member, the group’s president, or a trusted advisor. If you’re in a volunteer role without an official manager, this step is about finding leadership that can create a safe, productive space for everyone.

7. Care for Your Mental Health

Working with someone who plays mind games is emotionally draining. It can lead to burnout, self-doubt, and even depression.

Make sure you’re regularly:

• Venting to someone safe (friend, therapist, coach)

• Taking breaks from work when needed

• Reminding yourself: This is not about me. This is about her.

You don’t need to internalize Beatrice’s cruelty to be professional. You can stay kind without being a doormat.

In a volunteer setting, where the stakes may feel different, it’s even easier to overlook your own well-being. But the same rules apply: Your mental health matters just as much as any project or cause you’re working on. Protect your peace first, and everything else will fall into place.

8. When They Say, “Well, That’s Just Beatrice…”

One of the most demoralizing things you can hear when you speak up about this kind of behavior is:
“Oh, that’s just Beatrice being Beatrice.”

This phrase might sound harmless, even dismissively humorous—but it’s actually a subtle form of gaslighting. It tells you that Beatrice’s behavior is somehow normal, inevitable, or even your problem for not being able to handle it.

Here’s the truth:

When a workplace or volunteer organization excuses someone’s poor behavior with a shrug, they’re silently telling everyone else to just deal with it.

You don’t have to. You shouldn't have to.

“Yes, that’s just Beatrice” might explain her behavior, but it does not excuse it—and it certainly doesn't mean you need to absorb it. You have every right to expect professionalism, mutual respect, and a safe environment—whether it’s a corporate office or a volunteer organization.

And if leadership is brushing off real concerns with clichés and eye-rolls? That’s not just a Beatrice problem. That’s a culture problem. Whether it’s at work or in a volunteer capacity, toxic behavior shouldn’t be tolerated just because “it’s always been like that.”

9. When Volunteering on Boards or Nonprofits, Don’t Let This Behavior Sneak In

Sometimes, Beatrice-like behavior doesn’t just happen in the office. Whether you're serving on a nonprofit board, volunteering for a community organization, or working with a volunteer team, toxic behavior can creep in there too.

People like Beatrice may use their charm to climb the social ladder in the volunteer world, where their toxic tendencies often get overlooked. "Oh, that's just Beatrice" may be uttered by board members or fellow volunteers who, unwilling to rock the boat, let her cruelty slide.

But here's the deal: whether you're in a corporate job or volunteering for a cause you care about, you still deserve respect.

If you find yourself working with someone who consistently undermines you, creates a toxic dynamic, or disrupts your mental peace, you have the right to:

• Speak up about the behavior

• Set clear boundaries

• Find supportive allies within the group

• Protect your energy, even in a volunteer role

Volunteer positions can be just as emotionally taxing as paid roles, so don’t let anyone, even in the name of "good causes," treat you as if your needs don’t matter.

Final Thoughts: Protect Your Peace, Not Their Image

Dealing with a two-faced coworker or volunteer teammate is like walking through a maze of fake smiles and sharp edges. It’s exhausting. But it’s survivable—especially when you stand in your truth, stay grounded, and stop trying to win someone over who’s committed to misunderstanding you.

You don’t have to play her game. You don’t have to fix her.
You just have to protect your peace, do your job well, and hold your head high.

And remember: the people who matter most will eventually see what’s real.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. Whether you're dealing with "Beatrice" in the office or in a volunteer setting, protecting your peace and maintaining boundaries is essential. If you're unsure how to handle a specific situation or need help drafting a professional boundary email, I’m here to help. Don’t let anyone’s toxic behavior derail your success

Why Every Project Needs a Change Management Log—And What It Must Include

Change is inevitable in any project. Whether it’s a shift in scope, a new stakeholder requirement, or an unexpected constraint, change can derail progress, or drive improvement, depending on how it’s managed.

That’s why every successful project manager relies on a Change Management Log: a structured, transparent tool to track, evaluate, and document change from initiation to resolution. It ensures that no change slips through the cracks and that each one is handled with intention, clarity, and alignment.

Let’s explore what a Change Management Log is, why it matters, and what components it must include according to the PMBOK® Guide.

What Is a Change Management Log?

The Change Management Log (also called a Change Log) is a centralized document or system that records every change request made during a project, whether the request is approved, denied, or still under review. It provides a historical record of changes and serves as a tool for communication, accountability, and transparency.

According to the PMBOK® Guide (7th Edition), change requests are a core part of Project Integration Management and should be carefully documented, reviewed, and controlled. The Change Log supports the Change Control Process, helping project teams maintain alignment while adapting effectively to new conditions.

PMBOK®-Recommended Components of a Change Management Log

To be effective, your Change Management Log should include the following key elements, as outlined in PMBOK and standard project management best practices:

1. Change ID or Tracking Number

Assign a unique identifier to each change request for easy reference and traceability.

2. Date Submitted

Record when the change was requested (critical for tracking timelines, trends, and responsiveness).

3. Requester Name and Role

Who submitted the request? Understanding their role helps assess impact and stakeholder perspective.

4. Change Description

Provide a clear, concise summary of the change being proposed. Include both what the change is and why it is being suggested.

5. Change Category

Classify the type of change (e.g., Scope, Schedule, Cost, Quality, Resources, or Risk. This helps analyze trends and impacts across project dimensions).

6. Impact Assessment

Summarize the impact of the proposed change on project objectives, timelines, budgets, and risks. This may be prepared by the project manager or a designated evaluator.

7. Status of the Change Request

Clearly indicate whether the change is:

• Pending review

• Under evaluation

• Approved

• Rejected

• Deferred

8. Decision Date

Document when a decision was made on the request to establish a timeline of responsiveness and governance.

9. Decision Authority

Note who approved or rejected the change (e.g., Project Manager, Change Control Board). This enforces accountability and auditability.

10. Implementation Details

If approved, detail how and when the change will be implemented, who’s responsible, and how it affects downstream tasks or deliverables.

11. Comments or Notes

Optional section for further context, stakeholder concerns, links to supporting documents, or meeting outcomes.

Bonus: Use Visual Tools to Track Change Trends

Consider using dashboards or charts to track change frequency, approval rates, and category breakdowns over time. This can help identify scope creep, resource strain, or recurring process gaps—insights that PMBOK encourages as part of continuous improvement in project delivery.

Why It Matters

Without a centralized log, change becomes chaotic. Team members may act on outdated information, stakeholders may feel excluded, and risks may escalate without visibility.

A well-maintained Change Management Log helps:

• Maintain transparency with stakeholders

• Ensure decisions are documented and defensible

• Prevent unapproved changes from creeping into scope

• Support audits and compliance

• Reinforce project discipline and control

Final Thoughts

Projects don’t fail because change happens ... they fail because change isn’t managed. A clear, up-to-date Change Management Log puts structure around the unexpected. It transforms uncertainty into decision-making, and disruption into direction.

Whether your team uses a spreadsheet, a project management tool like Jira or Smartsheet, or a formal change request system, the key is consistency. Use the PMBOK-aligned structure above to guide your process and revisit your log regularly to ensure it remains accurate and useful.

Happy Thursday lovelies

- srt

P.S. Want a plug-and-play Change Log template? I’m happy to share one or help you build it into your workflow.

Project Management: It’s Not About If Obstacles Happen—It’s About What You Do Next

In project management, the unexpected isn’t an if…it’s a when. No matter how detailed your Gantt charts, how clear your stakeholder communication, or how strong your scope management, every project eventually hits bumps. These might show up as risks you didn’t see coming, issues that explode midstream, or obstacles that feel like brick walls.

Here’s the truth: obstacles are not project killers—inaction is.

The most successful project managers aren’t the ones who avoid problems entirely. They’re the ones who respond well when things go sideways. They adapt. They communicate. They reevaluate. Most importantly, they lead.

Obstacles, Risks, and Issues—What’s the Difference?

• Risks are potential problems. They haven’t happened yet, but you know they could. Good project managers plan for them.
• Issues are problems that have already occurred. Now it’s about response, not prediction.
• Obstacles are anything that slows down or blocks progress—maybe a resource gap, a misaligned stakeholder, or a last-minute scope change.

Each one demands a different response, but they all have one thing in common: they test your ability to manage more than just tasks. They test your ability to manage uncertainty, people, and priorities.

What You Do Next Matters

When obstacles arise, you have two choices:

1. React emotionally, scrambling to patch holes and assign blame.
2. Respond strategically, diagnosing the root cause, communicating effectively, and course-correcting with purpose.

As a project manager, your team watches how you handle adversity. If you stay focused, solutions-focused, and transparent, they will too. But if you lose control, the project can unravel quickly regardless of your original plan.

Tools in the Toolbox

Great PMs use the tools and techniques at their disposal to navigate challenges:

• Risk Registers to log and monitor emerging threats
• Issue Logs to track resolution paths
• Change Control Processes to manage shifting scope
• Communication Plans to keep everyone aligned
• Retrospectives to turn obstacles into learning opportunities

It’s less about perfection—and more about process.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

Why Every Project Needs a RACI Table

Clarifying Roles, Reducing Confusion, and Keeping Projects on Track

In the fast-moving world of project management, one of the greatest threats to success isn’t scope creep or missed deadlines ... it’s role confusion. When team members aren't clear about who is doing what, decisions stall, tasks are duplicated (or dropped), and accountability vanishes.

That’s where a RACI Table comes in.

The RACI matrix is a simple but powerful tool for clarifying roles and responsibilities, ensuring that everyone knows where they stand on every task. It aligns beautifully with the PMBOK® Guide (7th Edition) focus on team performance domains, resource management, and stakeholder engagement.

Let’s explore what a RACI table is, why it’s essential, and what components it should include per project management best practices.

What Is a RACI Table?

RACI is an acronym that stands for:

• R – Responsible: The person or role who does the work to complete the task.

• A – Accountable: The person who is ultimately answerable for the task’s completion and success. Only one person should be accountable per task.

• C – Consulted: People who provide input, expertise, or advice during the task. Communication is two-way.

• I – Informed: Those who need to be kept in the loop. They are not decision-makers, but they need awareness. Communication is one-way.

The RACI matrix is often presented as a grid that maps tasks (usually on the left-hand column) to team members or stakeholders (across the top), with R, A, C, or I marked in the corresponding cells.

RACI and the PMBOK® Guide

The PMBOK® Guide doesn't explicitly mandate a RACI chart but strongly encourages the use of Responsibility Assignment Matrices (RAMs) to clarify roles and responsibilities. RACI is one of the most widely used and effective forms of a RAM.

Within the Project Resource Management Knowledge Area, the PMBOK recommends:

• Clearly defining team roles and responsibilities.

• Developing a responsibility assignment matrix to support collaboration and reduce overlap.

• Ensuring that project governance structures are well-communicated and documented.

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Key Components of a RACI Table

To build a practical and PMBOK-aligned RACI Table, include these essential components:

1. Task or Deliverable List

Start by identifying major project tasks, activities, or deliverables, ideally pulled from your Work Breakdown Structure (WBS). These go in the left-hand column of the matrix.

2. Project Roles or Individuals

List the names or roles of all project team members and key stakeholders across the top row. (Example: Project Manager, Developer, Client Sponsor, QA Lead.)

3. RACI Designation for Each Task

Assign R, A, C, or I in the appropriate cells. Be sure to:

• Assign only one “A” (Accountable) per task to avoid ambiguity.

• Assign at least one “R” (Responsible) to ensure the task gets done.

• Limit the number of “C” and “I” roles to avoid communication overload.

4. Legend or Definitions

Include a simple key to define each letter. This is especially helpful for non-PMP-certified stakeholders unfamiliar with the model.

5. Review and Sign-Off

Have stakeholders review the RACI matrix and confirm their roles. This aligns with PMBOK’s emphasis on stakeholder engagement and helps avoid disputes down the line.

Why Use a RACI Table?

Here’s what a well-structured RACI table can do for your project:

• Clarify expectations from the start

• Avoid duplication of work

• Streamline decision-making by identifying who’s accountable

• Improve communication and reduce unnecessary emails or meetings

• Support onboarding of new team members

• Ensure alignment across cross-functional or multi-vendor teams

Bonus: Best Practices

• Keep your RACI matrix simple and readable. One page is ideal.

• Use roles instead of names when possible to make it scalable.

• Review and update the RACI at each major phase of the project.

• Integrate your RACI into your Project Management Plan and share it with all team members.

Final Thoughts

Projects thrive when everyone knows their role. A RACI table isn’t just a checkbox on your project plan ... it’s a communication blueprint that fosters accountability, transparency, and unity.

By aligning your RACI table with PMBOK principles, you’ll ensure a strong foundation for collaboration and reduce the risk of role-based confusion that can quietly derail your project.

Whether you're managing a construction site, a nonprofit event, or a software rollout, take the time to build and maintain your RACI table and watch your team operate with more clarity and confidence.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. Need a RACI template to get started? Let me know and I’ll share one tailored to your project type.

The Last One Out The Gate

I stood at the edge of the porch this morning, green Monster in my hands, eyes fixed on the drive that leads out the gate. The dew still clung to the fence posts, and the morning sun cast a golden light across the yard. But something was missing.

No rustle from that side of the house. The guest bathroom was still clean. Lola hadn’t been let out. Even Lil Ann wandered silently through the halls.

Just stillness.

Earlier this week, my youngest son pulled out of the driveway, headed for a life of his own beyond the gate. His brothers left in the years before but somehow, it didn’t feel quite real until now. There’s a finality in being the last one out.

For years, I was the one behind the scenes. The scheduler. The coordinator.  The road-trip mom.  The sandwich-maker (ok, food orderer). Vacation planner. The steady hands beneath it all. And now, I watch them go.

I Knew This Day Would Come

I raised them to be strong, independent, capable. Isn’t that what we want as mothers? But nothing prepared me for the silence that follows.

The kitchen table used to be the command center of chaos:  talk of the Roman Empire, weather, politics, climate, grades, romance, geology, farm animals, music, college exams, girl trouble, sports, and did I already mention the Roman Empire? Now I sit at it alone, hearing echoes in the creak of the floorboards and the hum of the fridge.

I always thought the hard part of parenting was the beginning.  I remember the sleepless nights.  The dazed mom in the morning trying to pull it all together.  The breast milk barf on my suit blazer.  Packing for a day as if we are leaving the country.  The crying at drop off that pulled my heart out of my skin. But this part? The letting go?

This part aches.  I hurt.

No Manual for the Quiet

There’s no manual for becoming an empty nester. Especially not out here, where identity and family are wrapped tightly in the rhythms of the home. His room is clean now.  In fact, the house is clean now. The laundry’s less demanding. The dishwasher is loaded, tines up.  I should feel relieved. Right?!?

But I miss the mess. I miss the mud on the floors, the dishwasher loaded wrong, the kitchen disaster from a "late night" snack, the laughter from a video game, win or lose and the face that I saw with an I love you.

This morning, I walked slowly with CaliGrl and Eire through the yard. No urgency. No chore list. Just me, CaliGrl, Eire and the farm. And I realized, I’m not just mourning the boys leaving. I’m also meeting a version of myself I haven’t seen in decades.

The woman who came before the babies. Who once chased corporate dreams, who needed to learn EVERYTHING, who believed everyday that she could maintain balance (oh, now that is funny) and achieve it all.  She learned early that leadership mattered and fought hard to become a leader people could trust. She’s still here. Just quieter now.

Somewhere Between Grief and Pride

So I’m learning to sit in this space, this stretch of land between grief and pride, between missing what was and imagining what’s next.

I still have purpose here. It’s just shifting. I may not be needed in the same way, but I am still rooted. Still strong. Still growing. Still want to possess all the knowledge (lol).  

To all the other moms out there, watching the dust settle after the last child drives away: I see you.  

I tell you, what I told myself today on my walk.  Your love built more than routines and meals. It built humans, amazing, capable, kind, ready to take on the world. And even in the quiet, you still matter.  You are still Mom and while the car may be gone from the drive, the heart of this home that you created still beats.  It always will.

Happy Thursday lovelies,

-srt

The Essential Guide to Building a Strong Project Roster

 Why Every Project Manager Needs One—and What It Must Include

In the world of project management, success doesn’t happen by accident. It’s the result of intentional planning, collaboration, and clarity. And at the heart of that clarity? A well-constructed Project Roster.

Whether you're leading a small internal initiative or a complex multi-stakeholder program, the project roster is one of your most essential tools. Think of it as the blueprint for “who’s doing what, when, and why.” Done well, it creates alignment, minimizes confusion, and sets the foundation for a high-performing team.

So what exactly is a project roster and what should it include? Let’s break it down.

What Is a Project Roster?

A Project Roster (sometimes referred to as a Project Team Directory) is a detailed list of everyone involved in a project. More than just names and emails, it identifies team members’ roles, responsibilities, authority levels, and contact information—helping project managers and stakeholders clearly understand the team structure.

According to the PMBOK® Guide (7th Edition), a project roster supports effective communication and collaboration. It helps in the development of team charters, communication plans, and resource assignments across all stages of the Project Life Cycle.

PMBOK®-Aligned Components of a Project Roster

While the format can vary depending on your project or organization, a robust project roster should include the following key elements, aligning with PMBOK® recommendations:

1. Full Name & Title

Clearly list every team member's name and professional title. This includes internal team members, external partners, vendors, and contractors.

2. Role in the Project

Define each person’s role—e.g., Project Manager, Business Analyst, Developer, Quality Assurance Tester, Procurement Lead. This aligns with the Resource Management Plan in PMBOK.

3. Responsibilities

What exactly is each person accountable for? This ties into the Responsibility Assignment Matrix (RAM) and the RACI chart (Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, Informed).

4. Organizational Unit / Department

Include which department or organization they represent. This helps clarify reporting relationships and authority levels.

5. Contact Information

Include relevant contact details, email, phone, Slack/Teams handle, depending on what’s used for project communication.

6. Availability or Time Commitment

Especially useful for part-time team members or cross-functional contributors. Specify whether they’re full-time, part-time, or ad hoc.

7. Project Phase or Timeline Involvement

Some team members are only involved during specific phases. Indicate when their participation begins and ends.

8. Location and Time Zone

With today’s distributed teams, this information is crucial for scheduling meetings and deadlines effectively.

Bonus: Include Visuals

Consider supplementing your roster with a team organization chart or RACI matrix to visualize team relationships, roles, and dependencies. These tools are also recommended in PMBOK’s Resource and Communication Planning Processes.

Why It Matters

A complete project roster isn’t just a nice-to-have ... it’s a foundational document that:

• Eliminates confusion about who’s responsible for what

• Streamlines communication

• Supports onboarding for new team members

• Reinforces accountability

• Aids conflict resolution by clearly defining roles and boundaries

Final Thoughts

Building a clear, complete project roster is one of the smartest moves you can make early in a project. As the PMBOK® Guide teaches, successful project managers don’t just lead—they coordinate, communicate, and clarify. A roster helps you do all three with confidence.

Whether you're just launching your project or looking to tighten your team operations, revisit your roster. Is it complete? Accurate? Aligned with your communication and resource plans?

If not, now’s the time to refine it because when everyone knows their place on the team, the whole project runs smoother.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. Need a template? Many project management platforms like Smartsheet, MS Project, and Monday.com offer built-in team management templates, or you can build your own using Excel or Google Sheets.

Have questions about building or maintaining a project roster? Drop a comment or reach out!