The 7 Problem Solving Steps Every Leader Should Know

Problems are part of life and leadership. Some are small, like running out of coffee before a meeting, and others are big, like project delays, budget cuts, or conflicting stakeholder priorities. What separates effective leaders from overwhelmed ones is a systematic approach to solving problems.

Here is a practical 7 step process that will help you move from confusion to clarity.

1. Identify the Issue

The first step is simple but essential: name the problem clearly. Many teams waste time treating symptoms instead of addressing the real issue. For example, if a project keeps missing deadlines, the problem is not late work. It might be unrealistic timelines or unclear priorities.

Leadership Lesson: If you cannot explain the problem in one sentence, you do not fully understand it yet.

Tools to Use:  Problem Statement Template, 5 Whys Analysis

2. Understand Everyone’s Interests

Behind every problem are people with different perspectives, needs, and priorities. Understanding these interests helps you design solutions that work for everyone involved.

Leadership Lesson: Listen carefully. Ask questions. The more you know about what people need, the better your solutions will be.

Tools to Use: Stakeholder Analysis Matrix, Empathy Map

3. List the Possible Solutions (Options)

Brainstorm as many options as possible without filtering too soon. Sometimes the most unconventional idea sparks the best outcome.

Leadership Lesson: Encourage creativity. Separate generating ideas from evaluating them.

Tools to Use: Brainstorming, Mind Mapping, SCAMPER Technique

4. Evaluate the Options

Once you have a list, weigh the pros and cons of each option. Consider feasibility, cost, timing, risks, and long term impact.

Leadership Lesson: Be thorough. A quick fix may not solve the deeper issue.

Tools to Use: SWOT Analysis, Decision Matrix, Cost Benefit Analysis

5. Select an Option (or Options)

Decision time. Pick the option or combination that best addresses the problem and aligns with your goals.

Leadership Lesson: Involve key stakeholders in the choice. Commitment to the solution increases when people are part of the decision.

Tools to Use: Multi Criteria Decision Analysis, Voting Techniques, Delphi Method

6. Document the Agreement

Clarity prevents confusion. Writing down the decision ensures everyone knows what was agreed on, who is responsible, and what the next steps are.

Leadership Lesson: If it is not documented, it did not happen. Documentation builds accountability and shared understanding.

Tools to Use: Action Plan Template, RACI Chart, Meeting Minutes

7. Agree on Contingencies, Monitoring, and Evaluation

No plan is perfect. Build in checkpoints, monitoring, and a process for making adjustments if things do not go as expected.

Leadership Lesson: Follow up is where many problem-solving efforts fail. Continuous review ensures solutions stick.

Tools to Use: KPI Dashboard, Risk Register, After Action Review

Bottom Line:

Problem solving is not about having all the answers. It is about having a clear process. By following these seven steps, you will move from reacting to challenges in frustration to responding with clarity and confidence.

Next time you face a tough problem, whether it is a stalled project, a difficult decision, or even just an empty coffee pot, remember that problems are opportunities to lead.

Happy Thursday,

-srt 

P.S. Before you panic because you don't know how to use the tools above, never fear.  I got your back.  Starting next week, I will introduce each so that you can execute like a pro.  

From Certainty to Curiosity: How We Unlock Innovation and Connection

Now that I am retired, I give myself 30 minutes on Thursday mornings to read through LinkedIn and catch up on the lives and work of my professional friends.

One dear friend has been digging deeply into the Torah and writing about her learnings. Miriam is a Jewish scholar, and her posts always compel me to reflect and ponder.

Last week, she ended her post with a question that stayed with me:

“What would it look like if we approached difficult questions with curiosity instead of certainty?”

It is a question I have been asking for the past year and one that I often bring into my coaching engagements.

So, let’s begin with why curiosity matters. Then, I’ll share a few frameworks you can use to cultivate curiosity and spark innovation in your own life, community, nonprofit, or profession. 

Why Curiosity Matters

Certainty can make us feel safe, but it often builds walls. Curiosity, however, builds bridges. It allows us to sit in complexity, to listen more deeply, and to move toward understanding instead of division.

• In our personal lives, curiosity helps us pause before reacting and ask what someone else might be experiencing.
• In communities, it creates common ground even when values diverge.
• In nonprofits, curiosity reframes obstacles as opportunities for creativity.
• In education, it teaches students that questions themselves are powerful tools for growth.

Curiosity does not undermine expertise. Instead, it enriches our wisdom with openness, empathy, and humility.

Frameworks That Encourage Curiosity and Innovation

If we want to move from certainty to curiosity, we need practical ways to practice it. 

Here are five frameworks that I have used in my life, professional and personal, that you can use to guide you:

1. Beginner’s Mind

Drawn from Zen philosophy, shoshin invites us to approach each situation as if we are seeing it for the first time.

• Ask: What is possible here that I have not considered?
• Ask: What might someone with a different perspective notice?

Application: Invite new voices into discussions. Fresh eyes often see what experts miss.

2. Appreciative Inquiry

Instead of asking, “What is broken?” Appreciative Inquiry asks:

• What is working well?
• What gives life to this system, team, or community?
• How might we build on these strengths?

Application: Nonprofits can reframe scarcity into innovation by focusing on where creativity is already thriving.

3. The 5 Whys

By asking “Why?” five times, we move beyond surface answers and discover root causes.

Application: An educator might ask why a student is disengaged, peeling back assumptions until they uncover real needs.

4. Design Thinking

This problem-solving process centers curiosity and empathy:

1. Empathize
2. Define
3. Ideate
4. Prototype
5. Test

Application: A nonprofit can co-create solutions by involving the community it serves in every stage of the design.

5. The “Yes, And” Mindset

Borrowed from improv, “Yes, And” builds on ideas rather than shutting them down.

Application: In team brainstorming, replace “Yes, but…” with “Yes, and…” to expand creativity and inclusion.

Creating a Culture of Curiosity

Curiosity flourishes where it is safe to wonder, safe to question, and even safe to fail. Leaders, educators, and changemakers can cultivate this by:

• Admitting when they do not know.
• Rewarding questions as much as answers.
• Creating space for reflection, not just execution.
• Practicing empathy and seeking first to understand.

The Invitation

As Miriam’s post reminded me, the divides in our communities, workplaces, and world will not be bridged by doubling down on certainty. They will be bridged when we step into dialogue with curiosity.

Certainty builds walls. Curiosity builds bridges. And on those bridges, transformation, innovation, and hope are born.

So the next time you face a difficult question, pause. Instead of rushing to certainty, lean into curiosity. That is where change begins.

Wrap Up

So, I will end where I began .... with Miriam's question:

Where in your life, community, nonprofit, or profession can you replace certainty with curiosity this week?

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. How can I help?  In my coaching and consulting work, I help leaders and teams move from certainty to curiosity. Together, we create cultures where asking better questions unlocks innovation, deepens trust, and builds stronger connections.

If you or your team are ready to embrace curiosity as a catalyst for growth, I would love to partner with you. Let’s explore how we can shift conversations, bridge divides, and spark new possibilities.

When an Emmy Led Me Somewhere I Did Not Expect

The other night I watched a young man, Owen Cooper, walk across the Emmy stage to accept an award for his role in Adolescence. I had not seen the show but the way the crowd reacted made me curious. Curiosity can be a gift but sometimes it takes you places you do not expect.

I pressed play on Adolescence and from the very first scene I was uncomfortable. The tone was raw, unfiltered, and unapologetically masculine in ways that felt jarring. By the time I reached the end I realized my discomfort was not just about the acting or the story. It was about the world the show was pointing toward. At that point I still could not name it.

It was only later that I learned more about what I had stumbled into: the manosphere and incel culture. Before this I honestly had no idea these communities even existed. What I discovered is a cluster of online spaces built around ideas of masculinity, power, and gender dynamics. It is a world where certain beliefs are reinforced through repetition, memes, and yes emojis.

I had always thought emojis were playful add ons to texts: a smiley face to soften a sentence, a heart to show appreciation, a flame to hype up a friend. But inside the manosphere and incel forums emojis become something else entirely. They are signals, shorthand for beliefs, and sometimes weapons of mockery.

Here are some of the most common ones:

• 💪 does not just mean strength, it stands for alpha masculinity.
• 🟥 is not just a red square, it is the red pill, a badge of awakening to the so called truth about women.
• 🔵 is the blue pill, used to mock anyone who is seen as naïve or brainwashed.
• 🤡 is shorthand for clown world, a dismissal of feminism or social progress as ridiculous.
• 👑 instead of admiration is often used sarcastically, as if to say all women think they are queens.
• 🚩 does not just mean warning, it gets slapped on almost anything women do that men in these groups dislike.
• 🐍 is used to paint women as deceptive or untrustworthy.
• 🐒 is shorthand for branch swinging, the idea that women move from man to man without loyalty.
• 🍆💦 goes from a silly symbol for flirting to a crude brag about sexual conquest.
• 💅 becomes a way to mock women as vain or shallow.
• 💀 is especially common in incel spaces, used to express despair, nihilism, or even hopelessness about life and relationships.
• 🪦 pushes it further, a tombstone symbol used when fatalism or self hatred takes over.
• 💯🔥80/20 references the belief that 80 percent of women are attracted to the top 20 percent of men, often paired with symbols of strength or sexual appeal.

What struck me most is how these communities take something as universal as emojis, symbols meant to connect us, and twist them into coded language that reinforces division.

Watching Adolescence felt like peeking behind a curtain. It showed me not just a performance worthy of an Emmy but an unsettling mirror of a culture I did not know enough about. By the time I finished I realized that my initial discomfort was the point. The show, intentionally or not, pushed me into a conversation I had been only vaguely aware of.

And here is the thing: once you see it you cannot unsee it. Emojis, television scripts, social media posts, they are not just harmless background noise. They are often part of a larger language, one that reveals how people see themselves and others.

I started with curiosity about a performance. I ended with curiosity about a subculture. And now I am left with the reminder that stories, whether told on a stage, a screen, or in a string of emojis, always mean more than they seem at first glance. For parents especially, this is a reminder to pay attention to the digital worlds your kids move through, because sometimes what looks like a harmless symbol is actually carrying a much heavier message. That awareness matters, because the same coded language that fuels online bonding can also fuel online bullying and harassment.

More than anything, I see this as a cautionary tale. The manosphere and its darker corners like incel culture are not just abstract internet trends, they can have devastating consequences for impressionable young men and for the families who love them. Recognizing the signs early and talking openly about them is one of the most important ways we can help protect the next generation.

Uncomfortable Thursday all,

-srt

When the Fire Isn’t Yours to Put Out: Dealing with Misdirected Rage and Protecting Your Sanity

We’ve all been there...caught in the crossfire of someone else’s anger that has nothing to do with us. Maybe it’s a partner snapping after a long day, a coworker venting frustration in your direction, or a friend lashing out when they’re really upset about something else entirely.

When rage is misdirected, it can feel personal, confusing, and even a little crazy-making. But here’s the truth: just because someone throws fire your way doesn’t mean you have to catch it.

What Is Misdirected Rage?

Misdirected rage happens when someone takes out their anger or frustration on an innocent party usually because the real source of their anger feels too risky, complicated, or buried to confront directly. It’s often unconscious. But just because they don’t mean to direct their fire at you doesn’t mean it’s okay—or that you have to absorb it.

The Emotional Toll

Being on the receiving end of misdirected anger can:

• Damage your self-esteem
• Leave you feeling confused or guilty for no reason
• Trigger your own anxiety or anger
• Undermine your trust in the relationship

Which is why it’s so important to respond with awareness and boundaries—not reaction.

How to Protect Yourself and Keep Your Sanity

1. Recognize It’s Not About You

First and foremost: Don’t take it personally. It may feel personal—especially if it’s directed at you—but misdirected rage is usually about what’s going on inside them, not something you did. Remind yourself: “This isn’t mine.”

2. Pause Before Responding

When someone lashes out, your instinct might be to defend yourself or snap back. Try to pause instead. Take a breath. Step back emotionally, and assess: “Is this really about me?”

Reacting with equal anger often just escalates the situation and drains your energy.

3. Set Firm Boundaries

You are not a punching bag, emotional or otherwise. It’s okay to say:

• “I can see you’re upset, but I’m not okay with being spoken to this way.”
• “I’m happy to talk when you’re calm, but I’m stepping away for now.”
• “I want to support you, but I won’t absorb your anger.”

Boundaries are not punishments—they are protection. They create space for mutual respect.

4. Don’t Try to Fix Them

You may want to soothe them, reason with them, or “be the bigger person” by staying silent. But enabling bad behavior doesn’t help them grow, it just teaches them that it’s okay to treat you this way.

You are responsible for your response, not their emotions.

5. Create Emotional Distance if Needed

If the misdirected rage is frequent or intense, you may need to create more space:

• Limit time with the person
• Avoid triggering topics (if known)
• Keep conversations surface-level for your own safety

Protecting your peace doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you strong.

6. Debrief with Someone Safe

Being on the receiving end of someone’s misplaced anger can shake you up. Talk to a friend, therapist, or journal your thoughts. Getting it out of your head helps you process and regain your grounding.

7. Know When to Walk Away

If misdirected rage becomes a pattern, if it's abusive, or if your boundaries are continuously disrespected, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Love, loyalty, or history are not good enough reasons to stay in a situation that chips away at your well-being.

Protect YOUR Peace

You are not responsible for other people’s unresolved pain, unprocessed anger, or emotional outbursts. Being a compassionate person doesn’t mean being a sponge for someone else’s fury.

Protecting your peace is not weakness, it’s wisdom. You can care about someone and still refuse to be collateral damage in their emotional storm. Let them deal with their fire; you don’t have to burn to prove you love them.

Happy Thursday lovelies,

-srt

P.S. If you’re dealing with someone whose anger feels unpredictable or overwhelming, and you're not sure how to protect yourself without feeling guilty, I can help you create a clear boundary plan or communication script. Just say the word.

#EmotionalIntelligence #Boundaries #ProtectYourPeace #RespondDontReact #ConflictResolution #SelfAwareness #WorkplaceWellness #ToxicBehavior #MentalWellness #HealthyBoundaries #ReaCoaching&Consulting

The CALM Technique: A Practical Tool for Handling Difficult Conversations with Grace

We’ve all been there...

You’re in a meeting or a one-on-one conversation, and tension suddenly spikes.    Voices raise. Words sting. You feel your body tighten, your pulse race, and your clarity fade.

In these moments, how you respond matters just as much, if not more, than what you say.

That’s where the CALM Technique comes in.

This simple, powerful method helps you de-escalate emotionally charged interactions and communicate with confidence, even under pressure.

What Is the CALM Technique?

CALM is an acronym that stands for:

• C - Center Yourself
• A - Acknowledge Without Agreeing
• L - Limit the Discussion to the Issue at Hand
• M - Move Forward Mindfully

Whether you're dealing with a defensive coworker, a confrontational board member, or a heated email thread, CALM helps you hold your ground without losing your cool.

Let’s break it down.

1. C - Center Yourself

Before responding, pause.
Take a breath.
Get grounded.

In a high-stress moment, your nervous system may go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Centering yourself is about disrupting that automatic reaction so you can choose a thoughtful response instead.

How to center yourself in the moment:

• Inhale slowly through your nose, exhale through your mouth.
• Plant your feet on the ground. Feel the chair beneath you.
• Internally say: “I’m safe. I can handle this.” Or my personal favorite, "I can do hard things."  (Thank you Glennon Doyle)

This pause gives you the power to respond, not react.

2. A - Acknowledge Without Agreeing

Acknowledging someone’s emotion or point of view doesn’t mean you agree with them. It means you're signaling that you're listening and that’s often enough to reduce defensiveness.

Examples:

• “I can see this is important to you.”
• “It sounds like you’ve been frustrated by this.”
• “I hear you.”

When people feel seen, they stop shouting to be heard.

This step isn’t about validating a toxic behavior, it’s about lowering the emotional temperature, so dialogue becomes possible.

3. L - Limit the Discussion to the Issue at Hand

In tense moments, conversations can spiral quickly. Suddenly you’re discussing everything that’s ever gone wrong, from the current disagreement to that email from three months ago.

CALM reminds you to stay on topic.

Try saying:

• “Let’s focus on this specific issue for now.”
• “I want to make sure we address what’s happening today.”
• “That’s important too ... let’s come back to that once we resolve this.”

By keeping the conversation focused, you create boundaries around the issue and protect the discussion from becoming overwhelming or unproductive.

4. M - Move Forward Mindfully

Once things are calmer, focus on progress. What’s the next right step?

Mindful movement forward doesn’t mean rushing to resolution or pretending everything’s fine. It means intentionally choosing your next move from a place of clarity—not emotion.

Ask yourself:

• “What outcome do I want from this?”
• “What’s one thing we can do next?”
• “What’s the most respectful, direct path forward?”

Mindfulness is about staying present, intentional, and values-aligned—even when others aren’t.

Why CALM Works

Because it’s not about controlling the other person, it’s about controlling yourself.

Tense interactions can trigger our ego, fear, or the desire to "win" the argument. But CALM shifts the focus inward. It gives you the tools to:

• Stay composed
• Speak clearly
• Protect your peace
• Lead with integrity

And when you stay calm, you create space for others to meet you there, too.

Final Thoughts

Difficult conversations are a part of life especially in leadership, team dynamics, or community work.

But conflict doesn’t have to mean chaos.

Next time you feel the tension rising, take a breath and try the CALM technique. You’ll be surprised how quickly things shift when you lead with clarity instead of combativeness.

Remember:  You don’t need to match someone’s intensity to make your point.

Stay CALM.  Stay grounded.  Speak with intention.

Happy Thursday Lovelies,

-srt 

P.S. Want a printable CALM cheat sheet for your desk or team? Let me know, I’m happy to share one!

#EmotionalIntelligence #ConflictResolution #LeadershipTools #CommunicationSkills #ProfessionalDevelopment #CALMTechnique #WorkplaceWellness #ReaCoaching&Consulting

Life After Corporate America: Redefining Purpose in a New Chapter

Seven months ago, I walked away from Corporate America and into retirement, or so I thought. I promised myself I would finally take it easy. No more back-to-back meetings, constant deadlines, or endless flights. Just time to breathe.

But here’s the truth, I’ve never been very good at “taking it easy.” What I’ve discovered is that retirement isn’t about slowing down, it’s about redirecting energy into the things that light you up and give life meaning.

Teaching and Shaping the Next Generation

One of the most rewarding surprises has been stepping into higher education. I teach at William Jessup University (online, undergraduate, and graduate courses) within the School of Business. Preparing students for their careers, whether in the private or public sector, reminds me that leadership isn’t just about what we achieve ourselves, but how we prepare others to thrive. Watching students grow in confidence and competence has been a gift.

What makes this chapter even more meaningful is that I can bring my full self to work. At Jessup, that means being able to openly live my faith, to pray with and for people, to share my testimony, and to create space for authentic connection. For the first time in my career, I feel I can be completely myself, and that authenticity has been both freeing and fulfilling.

Life on the Property, Goose Meets Duck

Not all my adventures have been in the classroom. Last time I shared that we hatched a goose, CaliGrl. Well, she’s grown into her own personality and still rules the property. Recently, Daisy the rescued mallard arrived, and much to CaliGrl’s dismay (or delight), Daisy has decided she’s found her new best friend.

And they’re not alone. Forty-two chickens, twenty-eight guinea fowl, twenty-two quails, a goose, and a duck make for some “fowl weathered” friends who keep us busy with daily care. Add to that twenty fruit trees that demand attention but reward us with jams, jellies, and syrup, and a garden that produces year-round, and it’s safe to say that life on the property is full, fruitful, and anything but quiet.

Life lessons come from unexpected places, and this lively mix of animals and harvest reminds me daily of resilience, consistency, and the joy of reaping what you sow.

Just as the land requires daily tending and rewards us with abundance, life at home has entered a new season too.

Becoming an Empty Nester

As much as the property keeps us busy, the house feels different these days. Son number three recently “flew the coop,” officially making us empty nesters. Each of my boys is finding his own path, and I couldn’t be prouder. One son is moving to the University of Oregon to pursue his doctorate, another will be graduating this fall, and the youngest is brewing up coffees as he works toward joining the fire service.

Watching them chase their dreams has been both bittersweet and inspiring, a reminder that just like the seasons on our property, life keeps moving forward, and each stage brings its own growth and reward.

Leading and Serving with Purpose

Another passion of mine has always been service. I am humbled to be serving my second and final term as President of Soroptimist International of Lincoln. Our mission, helping women and girls dream big, keeps me grounded in what truly matters. Empowerment begins with opportunity, and it’s a privilege to help create those opportunities. If you live in the Lincoln area and want to know more about being a Soroptimist, shoot me an email at stacyreathomas@gmail.com.

I’ve also joined the board of a nonprofit focused on foster children (programs for all ages). This work is close to my heart, and I’ll share more in the months ahead. What I know already is that making a difference doesn’t require a corporate title, it requires commitment and compassion.

A New Venture, Rea’s Coaching and Consulting

Perhaps the most exciting step has been establishing my own company, Rea’s Coaching and Consulting. This new chapter allows me to pour years of experience into something deeply personal. Leadership, communication, and career development are more than professional skills, they are lifelines for growth, confidence, and impact. Guiding others through coaching feels less like work and more like purpose. And focusing on small to medium businesses, individually owned, melts my heart.

Admittedly, I have been slow on marketing and getting online, but know it is coming. In fact, I already have two clients! More to come here and a formal launch in the next few months.

The Lesson in All of This

Retirement doesn’t mean “the end.” It means choice. It’s the opportunity to design a chapter that reflects who you are, what you care about, and how you want to give back.

For me, it has meant stepping into roles that combine joy, challenge, service, and faith. I have learned that true fulfillment comes when we align our lives with our values and live authentically, not just in what we do, but in who we are. This season has also taught me that God doesn’t waste experiences. Every chapter, from Corporate America to classrooms and chicken coops, has prepared me for what’s next.

So, if you’re standing at the edge of retirement (or even just dreaming about it), I encourage you to see it not as closing a book, but as starting a new one. The title is yours to write, and when you write it with purpose, faith, and authenticity, it becomes a life well-lived.

What about you? What chapter are you ready to write? 

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

#Leadership #Coaching #CareerGrowth #FaithAtWork #WomenEmpowerment #Authenticity #LifeAfterCorporateAmerica #ReaCoaching&Consulting

Surviving the Two-Face: How to Stay Sane When a Coworker or Volunteer Teammate Is Privately Cruel but Publicly Charming

Let’s talk about one of the most disorienting and emotionally exhausting experiences, working or volunteering with someone who clearly doesn’t like you, yet wears a mask of kindness in front of everyone else.

They smile sweetly in meetings, laugh with the team, and project warmth to the world. But behind closed doors? Passive-aggressive comments. Cold shoulders. Undermining. Maybe even manipulation.

It’s like dealing with two different people: publicly perfect, privately punishing. And it can make you question your sanity, your worth, and your sense of belonging.

So, whether this person is in your office or on your nonprofit board, how do you survive? Here's how.

1. Validate Your Experience (You're Not Imagining It)

The first step is simple but powerful: trust yourself.

People like this often gaslight by omission. Because they're so charming to others, no one believes they could act the way they do behind closed doors. This can make you second-guess yourself:
“Maybe it’s not that bad.”
“Maybe I’m too sensitive.”

You’re not.

Cruelty wrapped in politeness is still cruelty. Just because it’s subtle or strategic doesn’t make it any less harmful.

2. Document Everything

If this person is undermining you—through backhanded emails, sabotaged work, or private put-downs—keep a record. Document the date, time, what was said or done, and who was present.

This isn’t about revenge. It’s about protection. If things escalate or you need to report their behavior, you’ll have a factual trail to back you up.

If you’re in a volunteer setting, this becomes even more critical since there’s likely no formal “manager” to whom you can report the behavior. The documentation will be your safeguard if things get worse and you need to speak up or step away.

Keep your notes objective, clear, and professional.

3. Don’t Take the Bait

People like this often thrive on reaction. They want you to look defensive or unstable in front of others—so they can keep their halo while you look like the problem.

Here’s your mantra:
“I will not be pulled into their drama.”

Stay calm. Stay factual. Don’t try to expose them in the heat of the moment. It won’t work—and it may backfire.

Your strength lies in your composure.

4. Set Boundaries Without Playing Their Game

You don’t need to be best friends. You don’t even need to pretend everything is fine. But you can keep your communication:

• Professional

• Short

• Clear

• Polite, but firm

Examples:

• “Let’s stick to the agenda.”

• “I’ll follow up by email.”

• “I’d prefer to keep this in writing.”

Distance doesn’t mean weakness—it means you’re choosing not to engage on their toxic terms.

In a volunteer setting, where there might not be a direct superior to manage dynamics, boundary-setting becomes even more essential. Be polite, but don’t let anyone trample on your time, energy, or respect.

5. Find Allies—Quietly

You’re probably not the only person who’s noticed this behavior. Often, people like Beatrice have a pattern. Be observant. Over time, others may start to see the cracks in the façade.

Build relationships with coworkers or fellow volunteers who are emotionally safe. You don’t need to gossip or complain—just surround yourself with people who energize you, not drain you.

Having even one ally can make a toxic environment feel survivable.

In a volunteer role, allies may not always be obvious—so make sure to form a quiet, supportive network with others who value respect and positivity. They can help you regain perspective, especially if there's no official HR or manager to back you up.

6. Talk to HR, or Speak to Leadership (When It’s Time)

If the behavior becomes unbearable or affects your ability to do your job, it’s appropriate to escalate—especially if it crosses into bullying, harassment, or targeted sabotage.

When you do, be calm, specific, and prepared with documentation. Stick to facts, not feelings:

• “On X date, she said Y.”

• “This has affected Z project.”

• “I’d like to find a way to create a healthier work environment.”

In an office setting, there are clear channels for escalation—like HR or your manager. However, in a volunteer situation, things may not be as straightforward. You might not have formal leadership to report to, or the board may be made up of volunteers who are trying to balance their commitment with their personal lives.

In this case, consider finding an appropriate way to express your concerns. It might be more about having a direct conversation with the person in charge, whether that’s a fellow board member, the group’s president, or a trusted advisor. If you’re in a volunteer role without an official manager, this step is about finding leadership that can create a safe, productive space for everyone.

7. Care for Your Mental Health

Working with someone who plays mind games is emotionally draining. It can lead to burnout, self-doubt, and even depression.

Make sure you’re regularly:

• Venting to someone safe (friend, therapist, coach)

• Taking breaks from work when needed

• Reminding yourself: This is not about me. This is about her.

You don’t need to internalize Beatrice’s cruelty to be professional. You can stay kind without being a doormat.

In a volunteer setting, where the stakes may feel different, it’s even easier to overlook your own well-being. But the same rules apply: Your mental health matters just as much as any project or cause you’re working on. Protect your peace first, and everything else will fall into place.

8. When They Say, “Well, That’s Just Beatrice…”

One of the most demoralizing things you can hear when you speak up about this kind of behavior is:
“Oh, that’s just Beatrice being Beatrice.”

This phrase might sound harmless, even dismissively humorous—but it’s actually a subtle form of gaslighting. It tells you that Beatrice’s behavior is somehow normal, inevitable, or even your problem for not being able to handle it.

Here’s the truth:

When a workplace or volunteer organization excuses someone’s poor behavior with a shrug, they’re silently telling everyone else to just deal with it.

You don’t have to. You shouldn't have to.

“Yes, that’s just Beatrice” might explain her behavior, but it does not excuse it—and it certainly doesn't mean you need to absorb it. You have every right to expect professionalism, mutual respect, and a safe environment—whether it’s a corporate office or a volunteer organization.

And if leadership is brushing off real concerns with clichés and eye-rolls? That’s not just a Beatrice problem. That’s a culture problem. Whether it’s at work or in a volunteer capacity, toxic behavior shouldn’t be tolerated just because “it’s always been like that.”

9. When Volunteering on Boards or Nonprofits, Don’t Let This Behavior Sneak In

Sometimes, Beatrice-like behavior doesn’t just happen in the office. Whether you're serving on a nonprofit board, volunteering for a community organization, or working with a volunteer team, toxic behavior can creep in there too.

People like Beatrice may use their charm to climb the social ladder in the volunteer world, where their toxic tendencies often get overlooked. "Oh, that's just Beatrice" may be uttered by board members or fellow volunteers who, unwilling to rock the boat, let her cruelty slide.

But here's the deal: whether you're in a corporate job or volunteering for a cause you care about, you still deserve respect.

If you find yourself working with someone who consistently undermines you, creates a toxic dynamic, or disrupts your mental peace, you have the right to:

• Speak up about the behavior

• Set clear boundaries

• Find supportive allies within the group

• Protect your energy, even in a volunteer role

Volunteer positions can be just as emotionally taxing as paid roles, so don’t let anyone, even in the name of "good causes," treat you as if your needs don’t matter.

Final Thoughts: Protect Your Peace, Not Their Image

Dealing with a two-faced coworker or volunteer teammate is like walking through a maze of fake smiles and sharp edges. It’s exhausting. But it’s survivable—especially when you stand in your truth, stay grounded, and stop trying to win someone over who’s committed to misunderstanding you.

You don’t have to play her game. You don’t have to fix her.
You just have to protect your peace, do your job well, and hold your head high.

And remember: the people who matter most will eventually see what’s real.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. Whether you're dealing with "Beatrice" in the office or in a volunteer setting, protecting your peace and maintaining boundaries is essential. If you're unsure how to handle a specific situation or need help drafting a professional boundary email, I’m here to help. Don’t let anyone’s toxic behavior derail your success

Why Every Project Needs a Change Management Log—And What It Must Include

Change is inevitable in any project. Whether it’s a shift in scope, a new stakeholder requirement, or an unexpected constraint, change can derail progress, or drive improvement, depending on how it’s managed.

That’s why every successful project manager relies on a Change Management Log: a structured, transparent tool to track, evaluate, and document change from initiation to resolution. It ensures that no change slips through the cracks and that each one is handled with intention, clarity, and alignment.

Let’s explore what a Change Management Log is, why it matters, and what components it must include according to the PMBOK® Guide.

What Is a Change Management Log?

The Change Management Log (also called a Change Log) is a centralized document or system that records every change request made during a project, whether the request is approved, denied, or still under review. It provides a historical record of changes and serves as a tool for communication, accountability, and transparency.

According to the PMBOK® Guide (7th Edition), change requests are a core part of Project Integration Management and should be carefully documented, reviewed, and controlled. The Change Log supports the Change Control Process, helping project teams maintain alignment while adapting effectively to new conditions.

PMBOK®-Recommended Components of a Change Management Log

To be effective, your Change Management Log should include the following key elements, as outlined in PMBOK and standard project management best practices:

1. Change ID or Tracking Number

Assign a unique identifier to each change request for easy reference and traceability.

2. Date Submitted

Record when the change was requested (critical for tracking timelines, trends, and responsiveness).

3. Requester Name and Role

Who submitted the request? Understanding their role helps assess impact and stakeholder perspective.

4. Change Description

Provide a clear, concise summary of the change being proposed. Include both what the change is and why it is being suggested.

5. Change Category

Classify the type of change (e.g., Scope, Schedule, Cost, Quality, Resources, or Risk. This helps analyze trends and impacts across project dimensions).

6. Impact Assessment

Summarize the impact of the proposed change on project objectives, timelines, budgets, and risks. This may be prepared by the project manager or a designated evaluator.

7. Status of the Change Request

Clearly indicate whether the change is:

• Pending review

• Under evaluation

• Approved

• Rejected

• Deferred

8. Decision Date

Document when a decision was made on the request to establish a timeline of responsiveness and governance.

9. Decision Authority

Note who approved or rejected the change (e.g., Project Manager, Change Control Board). This enforces accountability and auditability.

10. Implementation Details

If approved, detail how and when the change will be implemented, who’s responsible, and how it affects downstream tasks or deliverables.

11. Comments or Notes

Optional section for further context, stakeholder concerns, links to supporting documents, or meeting outcomes.

Bonus: Use Visual Tools to Track Change Trends

Consider using dashboards or charts to track change frequency, approval rates, and category breakdowns over time. This can help identify scope creep, resource strain, or recurring process gaps—insights that PMBOK encourages as part of continuous improvement in project delivery.

Why It Matters

Without a centralized log, change becomes chaotic. Team members may act on outdated information, stakeholders may feel excluded, and risks may escalate without visibility.

A well-maintained Change Management Log helps:

• Maintain transparency with stakeholders

• Ensure decisions are documented and defensible

• Prevent unapproved changes from creeping into scope

• Support audits and compliance

• Reinforce project discipline and control

Final Thoughts

Projects don’t fail because change happens ... they fail because change isn’t managed. A clear, up-to-date Change Management Log puts structure around the unexpected. It transforms uncertainty into decision-making, and disruption into direction.

Whether your team uses a spreadsheet, a project management tool like Jira or Smartsheet, or a formal change request system, the key is consistency. Use the PMBOK-aligned structure above to guide your process and revisit your log regularly to ensure it remains accurate and useful.

Happy Thursday lovelies

- srt

P.S. Want a plug-and-play Change Log template? I’m happy to share one or help you build it into your workflow.

Project Management: It’s Not About If Obstacles Happen—It’s About What You Do Next

In project management, the unexpected isn’t an if…it’s a when. No matter how detailed your Gantt charts, how clear your stakeholder communication, or how strong your scope management, every project eventually hits bumps. These might show up as risks you didn’t see coming, issues that explode midstream, or obstacles that feel like brick walls.

Here’s the truth: obstacles are not project killers—inaction is.

The most successful project managers aren’t the ones who avoid problems entirely. They’re the ones who respond well when things go sideways. They adapt. They communicate. They reevaluate. Most importantly, they lead.

Obstacles, Risks, and Issues—What’s the Difference?

• Risks are potential problems. They haven’t happened yet, but you know they could. Good project managers plan for them.
• Issues are problems that have already occurred. Now it’s about response, not prediction.
• Obstacles are anything that slows down or blocks progress—maybe a resource gap, a misaligned stakeholder, or a last-minute scope change.

Each one demands a different response, but they all have one thing in common: they test your ability to manage more than just tasks. They test your ability to manage uncertainty, people, and priorities.

What You Do Next Matters

When obstacles arise, you have two choices:

1. React emotionally, scrambling to patch holes and assign blame.
2. Respond strategically, diagnosing the root cause, communicating effectively, and course-correcting with purpose.

As a project manager, your team watches how you handle adversity. If you stay focused, solutions-focused, and transparent, they will too. But if you lose control, the project can unravel quickly regardless of your original plan.

Tools in the Toolbox

Great PMs use the tools and techniques at their disposal to navigate challenges:

• Risk Registers to log and monitor emerging threats
• Issue Logs to track resolution paths
• Change Control Processes to manage shifting scope
• Communication Plans to keep everyone aligned
• Retrospectives to turn obstacles into learning opportunities

It’s less about perfection—and more about process.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt