Helping Students Shine: Readying for Real-World Interviews

The past three days, I have had the privilege of volunteering at our local high school, where I helped students prepare for job interviews through a series of mock interviews. We spent three days together, two hours each day—and I left inspired by their energy, their potential, and their desire to make a great first impression.

These sessions weren’t just about resumes and practice questions. They were about building confidence, presence, and professionalism—skills that many adults still work on throughout their careers.

Here are a few key takeaways I shared with the students that apply to anyone preparing for an interview, whether it’s your first or your fiftieth.

1. Be Careful of Verbal Crutches

We all have them—those little words we lean on when we’re nervous or thinking out loud:

“Like…” “Um…” “You know…” “Basically…”

They’re common, but they can be distracting. They often give the impression that you’re unsure or unprepared, even when you’re not.

Tip: Practice your responses out loud and record yourself. The more aware you are of your verbal habits, the easier it is to replace them with purposeful pauses or clear transitions.

2. Make Eye Contact

Eye contact signals confidence and engagement. It says: “I’m present. I’m listening. I respect your time.”

Avoid staring, of course—this isn’t a staring contest—but aim to hold natural, steady eye contact when you’re speaking or listening. If you’re on a panel interview, be sure to shift your attention between each person thoughtfully.

3. A Good Handshake Still Matters

Even in an increasingly virtual world, the power of a solid handshake remains. It’s one of the first impressions you make—and it’s often remembered.

A good handshake is firm but not crushing, paired with a friendly greeting and a smile. Practice it with friends or family until it feels natural.

4. Answer the Question—Then Stop

When you’re nervous, it’s easy to ramble. You start answering a question and before you know it, you’re circling the topic without making your point.

Answer clearly. Add context. Then pause. It’s okay to take a breath. Interviewers value clarity and thoughtfulness over overly polished or lengthy answers.

5. Come with Questions for the Interviewer

This is one of the most overlooked parts of interview prep—and one of the easiest ways to stand out.

When an interviewer asks, “Do you have any questions for me?”—they’re not just being polite. They’re testing your interest and engagement. Come prepared with thoughtful questions that show you’ve done your homework and that you care about fit, culture, and contribution.

Some great questions might be:

• What do you enjoy most about working here?
• What does success look like in this role?
• Can you tell me more about the team I’d be working with?

And, please remember, Interviews Are Conversations, Not Interrogations

The mock interviews reminded me of something I wish more people knew: You’re not just being evaluated—you’re evaluating too. You’re seeing if the role, the culture, and the company are a fit for you.

So prepare. Practice. Polish your presence. But also remember to be curious, open, and authentic. That’s where real connection begins.

And to all the students I met: I believe in you. The future is brighter with you in it.

Happy Thursday lovelies,

-srt

P.S. What do you think friends?  Have I missed anything you would have added?

Protecting Women’s Rights: A Responsibility, Not a Privilege

Twenty years ago, I put up a curtain in my cubicle for privacy. It seemed like such a small thing—an attempt to create a space where I could focus and work more comfortably. But soon after, a woman from the facilities team came by and asked me to take it down. First, I resisted, but she was holding her ground.  Finally, she looked at me intently and said something I have never forgotten:

“Rights can be given, and rights can be taken away.”

She went on to share her own powerful and moving story. 

Twenty + years before that moment, she had marched in protests for women’s rights. She had endured insults, had things thrown at her, and had been called vile names—all for fighting for something we now take for granted: a woman’s right to own a home and have access to credit without a male cosigner.

Her words stopped me in my tracks. I had never truly considered the fragility of the rights I had been fortunate enough to grow up with. The ability to own property, to have financial independence, to work in a male-dominated industry—these weren’t always guaranteed. They were fought for, and they were won, but as history has shown time and again, they can also be lost.

The Fight is Never Over

Women’s rights have come a long way, but they remain under constant threat. Laws change. Attitudes shift. And too often, people assume that progress is a straight line forward when history is full of steps forward and backward. The past few years have demonstrated this all too clearly—whether it’s access to healthcare, workplace protections, or economic opportunities, the battles that generations before us fought are resurfacing in new forms.

When we forget the struggles of the past, we risk repeating them. That woman from facilities had lived through an era where women had to fight for basic financial autonomy. Today, new challenges arise—unequal pay, workplace discrimination, threats to medical decisions—but the principle remains the same: no right is permanent unless we continue to defend it.

What Can We Do?

1. Educate and Remember

History is our greatest teacher. Understanding the struggles of those who came before us—whether it’s the suffragettes, the women’s liberation movement, or modern-day activists—reminds us that rights are not granted out of goodwill; they are won through persistence and collective action.

2. Speak Up and Challenge Inequality

Just as that woman reminded me of the fight she endured, we must remind others that equality is not a given. If you see injustice—whether it’s in the workplace, in legislation, or in everyday life—call it out. Complacency is the enemy of progress.

3. Support Organizations Protecting Women’s Rights

Whether it’s through donations, volunteering, or advocacy, supporting groups that fight for women’s rights ensures that those battles continue to be fought. Organizations focused on legal protection, economic empowerment, and policy change are crucial in keeping our rights intact.

4. Empower the Next Generation

The rights we enjoy today came from the sacrifices of past generations. It’s our responsibility to ensure that future generations not only maintain those rights but expand them. Mentorship, education, and leadership opportunities for young women help pave the way for continued progress.

The conversation I had that day with Cathie in my cubicle stayed with me because it was a wake-up call. I had assumed that my rights were permanent, but the truth is, no progress is ever truly secure.

We must remain vigilant. We must continue to advocate. And most importantly, we must never take for granted the rights that were hard-won by those who came before us.

Because if history has taught us anything, it’s that rights can be given—but they can also be taken away.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

Understanding the Johari Window: A Key Tool for Professional Growth

Effective communication and self-awareness are essential for growth and success in both personal and professional life. I recently participated in an Executive Coaching course, where I was introduced to a powerful tool that enhances these qualities: the Johari Window. Developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955, the Johari Window is a psychological model designed to help individuals better understand their relationships with themselves and others. For professionals looking to improve self-awareness, teamwork, and communication, the Johari Window can be a game-changer.

What Is the Johari Window?

The Johari Window is a simple but effective framework designed to improve self-awareness and mutual understanding between individuals within a group. It is divided into four quadrants that represent different aspects of self-knowledge, both known and unknown:

1. Open Area (Arena)

   • This is the part of ourselves that we and others are aware of. It includes behaviors, skills, and information that are openly shared, such as professional expertise, personal interests, or values.
   • Professional Impact: Building and expanding this area helps foster clear, transparent communication and trust in teams.

2. Blind Area

   • These are aspects of ourselves that others know, but we do not. This could include habits, mannerisms, or ways of communicating that are obvious to others but not to us.
   • Professional Impact: Identifying blind spots can help professionals become more self-aware and improve their interactions with colleagues.

3. Hidden Area (Façade)

   • This section represents things we know about ourselves but keep hidden from others, such as fears, personal issues, or doubts.
   • Professional Impact: Sharing more of this area can lead to stronger, more authentic connections with teammates and superiors, promoting better collaboration and reducing misunderstandings.

4. Unknown Area

   • The unknown quadrant contains things that neither we nor others know about us, such as untapped potential or subconscious behaviors.
   • Professional Impact: Expanding this area can be achieved through personal development, training, or feedback from colleagues, unlocking new strengths and perspectives.

Why Is the Johari Window Important for Professionals?

1. Enhances Self-Awareness
   In any professional setting, knowing yourself is the first step toward growth. By examining the four quadrants of the Johari Window, individuals can identify areas where they may have blind spots or hidden strengths. For example, if you receive consistent feedback that you’re a strong communicator but never realized it yourself, expanding your "open area" can help you embrace that strength. Understanding yourself better allows you to play to your strengths, improve your weaknesses, and become more effective at work.

2. Improves Team Dynamics
   In a team environment, understanding how each person views themselves and others can greatly improve collaboration. The Johari Window encourages open communication, where individuals share more about themselves and seek feedback from others. This openness reduces misunderstandings, minimizes conflicts, and creates a more transparent, trusting environment. Teams that operate with a well-developed “open area” tend to be more cohesive and productive.

3. Builds Trust and Reduces Tension
   A culture of feedback and openness fosters trust. When professionals are willing to share parts of themselves they might otherwise keep hidden, they allow others to gain a fuller understanding of their perspectives. This leads to stronger relationships and a deeper sense of camaraderie. In contrast, a “hidden area” left unchecked can create barriers to effective teamwork and communication.

4. Facilitates Personal and Professional Growth
   The Johari Window provides a clear map for personal development. If you recognize that you have areas of growth in the “blind” or “hidden” quadrants, you can take proactive steps to address them—whether through soliciting feedback, participating in training, or becoming more open with your colleagues. Over time, expanding your "open area" increases your emotional intelligence, leadership skills, and ability to engage with others, all of which are essential for career success.

5. Encourages Constructive Feedback
   The Johari Window thrives on feedback, making it a powerful tool for professional environments where ongoing feedback is key to improvement. By encouraging a culture where team members regularly share their thoughts and provide constructive feedback, professionals can eliminate misunderstandings and ensure that everyone is on the same page. When feedback is given and received effectively, it directly enhances both individual and team performance.

How to Implement the Johari Window in the Workplace

1. Self-Reflection
   Start by assessing your own “open area.” What are your strengths, and how can you communicate them effectively to others? What areas are you hiding, and why? Self-reflection helps you understand where you can begin expanding your "open area."

2. Seek and Offer Feedback
   Request feedback from colleagues and supervisors to identify any blind spots. Likewise, offer constructive feedback to others in a supportive, non-judgmental way to help them grow. Incorporating regular feedback into your professional routine can create a more open and collaborative culture.

3. Promote Transparency
   In meetings, projects, and one-on-one conversations, encourage transparency by sharing information openly. Acknowledge both successes and challenges to show vulnerability and strengthen relationships.

4. Provide Opportunities for Development
   Encourage your team to explore and develop their hidden and unknown areas. This can be through mentoring, training, or self-development programs that bring new talents to the forefront.

5. Create a Safe Space for Growth
   Acknowledge that expanding the Johari Window takes time and requires trust. Make sure your workplace fosters an environment where employees feel safe sharing, asking for feedback, and challenging themselves to grow without fear of judgment.

The Johari Window is not just a theoretical model; it is a practical tool for personal and professional growth. By increasing self-awareness, promoting openness, and encouraging feedback, professionals can create more productive, harmonious, and successful teams. Whether you are an individual contributor or a leader, using the Johari Window can help unlock new opportunities for development, collaboration, and success in the workplace. By embracing the principles behind this model, you can cultivate a deeper understanding of yourself (and others), paving the way for stronger relationships (and more effective teams).

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. To help you with the Johari Window, I have an Johari Window Worksheet that provides an introduction and instructions that I can send you.  Email me at stacyth@yahoo.com and I will send you the pdf.  

Hate Needs Attention to Thrive: How to Stop Feeding It

In today’s world, hate often takes center stage — whether it’s online, in the media, or even in our personal interactions. The presence of hate can feel overwhelming, but here’s the truth: hate needs attention to thrive. Without an audience, it fades into the background. Unfortunately, the more we share hateful messages, amplify negative narratives, or engage in online arguments, the more hate grows. But the good news is, we have the power to stop feeding it and diminish its impact.

Why Hate Needs Attention

Hate thrives on division and fear. It feeds off emotional reactions and sensationalism. In the digital age, where information spreads rapidly and attention spans are short, hate can spread quickly when amplified. The algorithms that govern our social media platforms prioritize posts that provoke strong emotional responses, often prioritizing outrage and divisiveness. The more likes, shares, and comments a post receives, the more likely it is to be seen by others, perpetuating the cycle.

But remember, hate is like a cancer that destroys from within. The more we focus on it, the more it spreads.

When we engage with hate—whether by commenting, sharing, or reacting—we give it the attention it craves. Even responding with counterarguments can sometimes amplify its reach, as the algorithm values engagement, not the content itself. This means that hate, fueled by attention, continues to spread, becoming more deeply ingrained in our cultural dialogue.

How Hate Manipulates Our Emotions

Hate has a unique ability to tap into our most primal instincts: fear, anger, and mistrust. These emotions demand immediate responses, which is why hate-filled content often goes viral. In the face of these emotions, it’s easy to forget the bigger picture and react impulsively, sharing, commenting, or engaging in ways that only further perpetuate the cycle.

Many are manipulated into thinking that engaging with hate is the only way to challenge it. It’s tempting to believe that we need to fight fire with fire or respond to hate with louder voices of disagreement. But this often leads to more noise, more hate, and more division.

Stopping the Cycle: How We Can Stop Feeding Hate

1. Stop Engaging with Hateful Content
   One of the most powerful ways to stop feeding hate is by simply not engaging with it. It may feel satisfying to argue or call out harmful rhetoric, but the reality is: the more we engage with hate, the more we fuel it. Instead, choose to focus on content that promotes understanding, kindness, and positivity. Remember, the best way to defeat hate is by ignoring it. The more attention you give it, the stronger it becomes.
2. Use Your Platforms for Good
   We all have the ability to shape the discourse around us. Whether online, in personal conversations, or in community spaces, we can choose to elevate voices of empathy, solidarity, and inclusivity. By sharing content that inspires, educates, and promotes compassion, we shift the narrative away from hate and toward love and understanding.
3. Mute or Block Hateful Voices
   If you encounter individuals or accounts that regularly promote hate, consider muting or blocking them. By removing these voices from your online experience, you stop amplifying their message and avoid triggering emotional responses. This isn’t about ignoring issues or disagreements, but rather about choosing where and how to direct your attention.
4. Encourage Constructive Conversations
   Instead of responding to hate with more hate, strive to engage in thoughtful, respectful dialogue. Ask questions, listen to understand, and approach difficult conversations with the intent to find common ground. This not only dismantles hate but also promotes a culture of empathy and mutual respect.
5. Limit Your Consumption of Negative News
   The media often amplifies negative news because it attracts attention. While it’s important to stay informed, it’s equally important to be mindful of how much negative content we consume. Take breaks from the news, follow accounts that focus on positive stories, and remember that balance is key to mental well-being.
6. Model Empathy and Kindness in Your Everyday Life
   It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of the world, but we can all make a difference by embodying empathy and kindness in our day-to-day interactions. A simple act of kindness can ripple out and inspire others to do the same, creating a positive feedback loop that counters the divisiveness of hate.

The Power of Silence

Sometimes, the most powerful response to hate is no response at all. Silence, especially in the face of something designed to provoke us, can be incredibly powerful. By choosing not to give attention to hate, we deny it the fuel it needs to continue. When we stop engaging with hate, we create space for love, understanding, and progress.

In a world where hate often demands our attention, it’s essential to remember that it only thrives when we give it power. Martin Luther King, Jr., said, “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”  With this, he is reminding us that by choosing to disengage from hate and directing our energy toward positive, meaningful actions, we can make a significant difference in combating the negativity around us. 

Together, we can stop feeding hate and create a more compassionate, loving and connected world.  Let's start today.  <3

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

Creativity & Trust: The Foundation of Leadership

On March 1, I was asked to talk about Creativity and Trust as two essential leadership values at a District 4 Leadership Summit for Soroptimist International of Americas, Sierra Nevada Region.  

Below is a copy of the presentation on Creativity & Trust: The Foundation of Leadership.  

After reading, I welcome your thoughts on creativity and trust in the comments below.

Happy Thursday, you amazing humans. 

-srt

____

Good morning, incredible women leaders!

I’m Stacy Rea Thomas, President of Soroptimist International of Lincoln, and it’s such an honor to be here with all of you today. I’m excited to talk about two powerful values that define great leadership: creativity and trust. These aren't just abstract ideas—they're what fuel innovation, help us build strong teams, and create lasting impact in our communities.

Let’s start by talking about creativity.

Creativity isn’t just for artists or tech innovators. It’s a mindset, a way of thinking that we can all embrace as leaders. It’s about looking at the world and seeing not just what is, but what could be. As leaders, creativity is more than just thinking outside the box—it’s about reshaping the box entirely.

But here's the thing: we have to acknowledge what stifles creativity. There are things that hold us back:

• Fear—the fear of making mistakes or failing.
• Perfectionism—thinking that everything has to be perfect before we act.
• Negativity—a culture of doubt that can drown out new ideas.
• And, of course, the most destructive phrase of all: "We’ve always done it this way."

In our work as Soroptimists, we face complex challenges in empowering women and girls. But creativity is the tool we can use to find new solutions. It’s not about change for change’s sake, but about finding new, impactful ways to connect with the people we serve, the members we want to join and to create lasting value in our communities.

Now, let's shift to trust—which is absolutely essential to leadership.

Trust is the foundation on which everything else is built. As leaders, we need to be honest about:

• The challenges we face.
• The resources we have (or don’t have).
• And the realities that we need to face to move forward.

Honesty requires us to be vulnerable. It means admitting when we don’t have all the answers, asking tough questions, and being willing to have those hard conversations. Without honesty, trust is impossible. And without trust, creativity can't thrive.

So, what destroys trust?

• Dishonesty—not being truthful or withholding important information.
• Control—trying to micromanage and not empowering others.
• Gossip—which destroys morale and breaks connections.
• And, a club destroyer, Triangulation—

Triangulation in a club refers to a situation where two people involve a third party to manage conflict or manipulate a situation, instead of directly addressing the issue between the two of them.  That third person creates a triangle. This is particularly harmful in clubs, where teamwork and communication are essential for success.  Triangulation creates division instead of collaboration. 

But if fear, perfectionism and negativity kills creativity, then courage is what fuels it.

If control, gossip, triangulation and dishonesty stifles trust, then transparency is what nurtures it.

Now, let’s put these ideas into action.

I want to invite you to participate in a short creative exercise. In front of you, there’s a blank postcard. Here’s what I’d like you to do:

On one side, think about when you started your leadership journey.  What is one piece of advice you received or wish you would have received? Write that piece of advice on the left side of the postcard next to the blank address.

Now flip the postcard over.  Sad postcard, just blank.  Here, I want you to think about a time when creativity and trust worked together to help you lead. Use words, symbols, or drawings—whatever speaks to you.  Your artistic expression is what we are after. So turn the creativity on and feel free to use the gel pens in front of you.

Once you’ve finished, put your finished postcards in the plastic bag, with the gel pens I borrowed for today.  They will be picked up after lunch.

Before I wrap up, let me leave you with this final thought:

Leadership isn’t just about solving problems—it’s about transforming them. When we bring creativity and trust together, we don’t just adapt to the world around us—we shape it.

As you reflect on your leadership, take a look at the handout in front of you: Creativity & Trust: What Kills Them and How to Protect Them. I challenge each of you to read both sides and reflect on your own leadership style and how these values show up. After, reflect on your club.  Then, consider how we can strengthen these values in ourselves, our clubs and in the work we do.

Let’s commit to fostering creativity—not just in what we create, but in how we lead. And let’s commit to trust—not just in our words, but in our actions.

Because when we lead with both creativity and trust, we don’t just create leaders—we create movements.

Thank you!

///End

Handout:  Creativity & Trust: What Kills Them and How to Protect Them

 How Creativity is Stifled

Creativity flourishes in environments that encourage risk-taking, exploration, and open thinking.

🚫 Creativity Blockers & Common Phrases

1. Fear of Failure – Avoiding risks due to fear of judgment.
   "What if this doesn’t work?" | "We’ve never done it that way before."
2. Perfectionism – Overanalyzing instead of taking action.
   "It’s not ready yet." | "It has to be flawless before we show anyone."
3. Lack of Psychological Safety – Fear of criticism or rejection.
   "That’s a dumb idea." | "Just do what you’re told."
4. Overwork & Stress – No mental space for creativity.
   "I don’t have time to think about that." | "Just get it done."
5. Rigid Rules & Bureaucracy – No room for innovation.
   "That’s not how we do things here." | "Follow the process, no exceptions."
6. Lack of Autonomy – Micromanagement stifles creativity.
   "Let me see it before you proceed." | "Just follow my instructions."
7. Negativity & Pessimism – Focusing on why things won’t work.
   "That’ll never work." | "It’s not worth the effort."
8. Routine & Monotony – Doing the same thing every day limits fresh thinking.
   "That’s how we’ve always done it." | "Why change something that works?"
9. Instant Gratification Culture – No patience for creative exploration.
   "We need results now." | "If it doesn’t work immediately, don’t bother."
10. Comparison & Competition – Self-doubt from constant evaluation.
    "Their idea is better than yours." | "You’ll never be as good as them."

✅ How to Assess Creativity

• Observe Meetings: Are members actively contributing ideas?
• Survey Members: Ask if they feel encouraged to take creative risks.
• Review Past Initiatives: Have there been any new or innovative projects recently?

✅How to Encourage Creativity:

• Embrace experimentation and learning from failure.
• Encourage open dialogue and risk-taking.
• Provide a safe space for brainstorming without judgment.
• Foster a culture where mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities.

How Trust is Destroyed

Trust is the foundation of strong teams and relationships.

🚫 Trust Breakers & Common Phrases

1. Dishonesty – Withholding or distorting the truth.
   "I never said that." | "Just tell them what they want to hear."
2. Inconsistency – Unreliable actions create doubt.
   "I know I promised, but things changed." | "We’ll get to it later."
3. Lack of Accountability – Shifting blame instead of taking responsibility.
   "That’s not my fault." | "Let’s just move on."
4. Gossip & Betrayal – Speaking negatively behind someone’s back.
   "Don’t tell anyone, but..." | "Can you believe what they did?"
5. Micromanagement – Lack of confidence in others.
   "Let me just do it myself." | "Send me updates every hour."
6. Unfair Treatment – Favoritism or bias undermines trust.
   "That’s just how it is." | "They always get special treatment."
7. Lack of Communication – Keeping people in the dark.
   "I assumed you knew." | "It’s on a need-to-know basis."
8. Disrespect – Dismissing or belittling others.
   "That’s a stupid idea." | "Just do what I say."
9. Hidden Agendas – Lack of transparency breeds suspicion.
   "I have my reasons, don’t worry about it." | "Let’s keep this between us for now."
10. Triangulation – Involving a third party instead of addressing issues directly.
    "They said you were the problem." | "I don’t want to say this to them directly..." | "I’ll talk to them for you."

✅ How to Assess Trust

• Check for Open Communication: Do members feel comfortable voicing concerns?
• Gather Feedback: Conduct anonymous surveys to identify trust barriers.
• Observe Interactions: Are members supportive or guarded?

✅ How to Build Trust:

• Communicate openly and honestly.
• Follow through on commitments.
• Treat people fairly and with respect.
• Empower others instead of controlling them.

·       Foster inclusivity and fairness in decision-making.

The Missing Easy Button: Embracing Lex Parsimoniae

Happy Thursday lovelies,

Okay, I’ll admit it. I want an easy button. Not the kind you can pick up at Staples for $5.99, but the magical one from those TV ads. You know the one I’m talking about—the button that you press, and suddenly, everything that once seemed difficult becomes effortless.

Can you imagine a life with an easy button? 

At home ... 

[Press] Laundry done without lifting a finger. 

[Press] The kids' rooms stay clean 24/7. 

[Press] My husband never wears another pair of ripped jeans again. 

At work...

[press] bureaucracy and territorial battles simply vanish, and we spend our time on meaningful, productive tasks. 

[press] Success, glory, and endless happiness... all at the press of a button!

Sadly, the easy button doesn’t exist—at least not in the way we wish. (And if it does, I’m convinced it’s hiding somewhere near the Fountain of Youth, where unicorns and leprechauns roam freely.)

But here’s the twist: In a recent situation, I realized that while we may not have a magical easy button, we do have something just as powerful—Lex Parsimoniae (better known as Occam's Razor). It turns out that the easy button we’re all searching for is right under our noses.

The Real "Easy Button"

Reflecting on a relatively simple issue that spiraled out of control, I was struck by the fact that it wasn’t the situation itself that became complicated—it was the who. Isn’t it interesting how humans (the who) can make even the simplest tasks feel impossible?

That’s when it hit me. We all have a built-in easy button that we often forget to use: Lex Parsimoniae—the idea that the simplest solution is usually the right one.

Occam’s Razor is a principle that encourages us to cut out the noise and focus on the simplest explanation. When you encounter a problem, instead of overthinking and adding complexity, look for the most straightforward answer. It’s a tool we’ve been equipped with, even if we don’t always remember to wield it.

Everyday Examples of the Easy Button

Occam’s Razor is more than just a philosophical concept. It’s been used for centuries to help people navigate complicated situations. For instance, in medicine, doctors use this principle to diagnose illnesses by focusing on a set of symptoms and considering the most likely causes first. Fire investigators do the same thing by isolating key indicators to determine the origin of a blaze and whether it was accidental or arson.

The beauty of this approach lies in its simplicity. It’s about eliminating unnecessary details, distractions, and complexity so you can zero in on the core of the problem—and in doing so, arrive at an effective solution more efficiently.

A Call for Simplicity

In our modern, hyper-connected world, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by the "noise"—whether it's in our personal lives, at work, or in our interactions with others. The constant bombardment of information, opinions, and options can cloud our judgment and make decision-making feel exhausting.

But what if, instead of overcomplicating everything, we embraced the simplicity that Lex Parsimoniae offers? What if we focused on what’s essential, stripped away the unnecessary, and trusted that the simplest solutions are often the best?

So, the next time you feel bogged down by complexity, frustration, or confusion, take a moment to ask yourself:

What if I just focused on the simplest explanation? What if I cut out the noise and looked for the solution that makes the most sense?

The easy button may not be a shiny object you can press, but the principle of simplicity—of cutting through the clutter and focusing on the essentials—is always at your fingertips. So, why not use it more often?

Let's simplify, focus, and make life a little easier.

Have a beautiful Thursday!

-srt

The Toxic Trap of Triangulation: Why It Kills Trust and Breaks Teams Apart

In the intricate web of human relationships, both personal and professional, one behavior quietly erodes trust, destroys morale, and fragments teams: triangulation. While the term may sound clinical, its impact is far from abstract. Triangulation is the act of involving a third party in a conflict or issue between two people, often as a way to avoid direct confrontation or accountability.

If left unchecked, triangulation can undermine the foundation of any team. Here’s how it works, why it’s so harmful, and how to address it.

What is Triangulation?

Triangulation occurs when Person A, instead of addressing an issue directly with Person B, pulls in Person C as a go-between or ally. It might look like venting to a coworker about another teammate instead of discussing the issue with that teammate directly. It might also involve escalating a problem to leadership without first seeking resolution with the involved party.

While it may seem harmless—after all, seeking validation or advice feels natural—triangulation creates unnecessary complexity and conflict.

Why Triangulation Kills Trust

1. Erodes Psychological Safety
   Teams thrive on open communication and psychological safety—the belief that one can speak openly without fear of ridicule or backlash. Triangulation signals to others that problems won’t be handled with integrity, making people hesitant to speak up.

2. Fuels Gossip and Distrust
   When issues are funneled through third parties, they often morph into gossip. People begin to wonder: What’s being said about me behind my back? This undermines trust not just between the original parties, but across the entire team.

3. Blocks Conflict Resolution
   Healthy teams embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth. Triangulation short-circuits this process, turning productive conflict into festering resentment. Problems linger unresolved, and relationships deteriorate.

4. Creates Sides and Cliques
   Triangulation often leads to "us vs. them" dynamics, where people align with one party or another. This fractures the team into factions, eroding collaboration and unity.

How to Break the Triangulation Cycle

1. Encourage Direct Communication
   Foster a culture where addressing issues head-on is not just encouraged, but expected. Provide training on giving and receiving feedback to empower your team with the tools they need for productive conversations.

2. Model Healthy Conflict Resolution
   Leaders set the tone for how conflict is managed. Avoid becoming the third point in a triangle by asking, “Have you spoken with them about this directly?” and redirecting conversations back to the source of the issue.

3. Build Accountability
   Accountability is the antidote to triangulation. Teams must hold one another responsible for addressing problems transparently. This includes creating safe spaces for dialogue and establishing clear expectations for behavior.

4. Use Mediation Wisely
   Mediation should be a last resort, not the first step. When it’s needed, approach it with neutrality and focus on collaboration, not blame.

The Costs of Allowing Triangulation

Triangulation isn’t just a communication breakdown—it’s a cultural issue. It drives talented people to disengage, lowers productivity, and chips away at the team’s sense of purpose. Over time, its effects are cumulative and toxic, creating a workplace where people feel isolated and undervalued.

Triangulation Has No Place on Winning Teams

Strong teams are built on trust, direct communication, and a shared commitment to solving problems together. When triangulation creeps in, it acts as a silent saboteur, dismantling the bonds that hold teams together.

By addressing triangulation head-on, leaders can cultivate an environment where trust flourishes, accountability is the norm, and teams work cohesively toward shared goals.

In the end, the key to breaking the triangulation trap is simple: say what needs to be said to the person who needs to hear it. Directness isn’t just the antidote to triangulation—it’s the foundation of trust.

"If Better is Possible, Good is Not Enough" - Embracing a Growth Mindset

Happy Thursday!!!

There's a thought-provoking truth in the quote, “Always remember — if better is possible, good is not enough.” Benjamin Franklin's words capture the essence of striving beyond our comfort zones, beyond settling for "good enough." Today, this mindset is more relevant than ever. By aiming for "better" rather than just "good," we open ourselves to growth, resilience, and, ultimately, excellence.

In many areas of life, it's tempting to believe that once something is working “well enough,” we can coast. But while "good" is comfortable, it can often be the enemy of "great." By pausing our progress at "good enough," we may miss out on discovering untapped strengths, developing valuable skills, or realizing our full potential. When we believe that better is possible, we embrace a mindset of continuous improvement—a growth mindset that challenges us to elevate our own standards.

Why Stop at Good?

There’s a risk in settling for just "good." A project completed to a passable level might work, but will it impress? A job well done might be appreciated, but could it inspire? Daniels' quote invites us to consider these questions and reframe our goals. When we aim higher, we not only develop ourselves but also have a greater impact on the people and projects around us.

For example, in the workplace, a project completed with excellence not only builds personal pride but also contributes to the success of the team and the organization. In relationships, striving to be a better listener or a more supportive friend brings deeper connections and understanding. And in personal development, pushing ourselves to keep learning and growing helps us become more resilient, adaptable, and fulfilled.

The Power of Small, Consistent Steps

The pursuit of “better” isn’t about perfection. It’s about incremental progress. Small, consistent efforts compound over time. By aiming just a bit higher each time, we can improve without feeling overwhelmed. This approach allows for gradual yet meaningful change, ultimately pushing us closer to our best selves.

Imagine if, with each project or goal, you asked, “What can I do just a bit better?” This small shift in perspective can lead to continuous, manageable progress—whether it’s taking a few extra minutes to double-check your work, learning a new skill to enhance your project, or taking the time to improve communication in a relationship.

Embracing a "Better is Possible" Mindset in Daily Life

To live by this quote, consider these practical steps:

1. Set Stretch Goals: Identify areas in your life where you’re doing well but could challenge yourself to do even better. Whether it’s personal health, career ambitions, or skills development, stretch goals keep us moving forward.
2. Seek Feedback: Often, we’re unaware of our blind spots. Constructive feedback can help us see opportunities for improvement and achieve a level beyond what we thought was possible.
3. Learn Something New Regularly: Continuous learning keeps us adaptable and open to better ways of doing things. Whether through books, podcasts, courses, or conversations with others, new knowledge can help us improve.
4. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Pursuing “better” doesn’t mean beating ourselves up over every mistake. Celebrate the progress you make along the way, recognizing that even small steps add up.

Turning "Good Enough" into "Better Than Ever"

If better is possible, why settle? When we aim for more than just “good enough,” we start to notice the little ways in which we can improve each day. Over time, those small improvements shape us into better versions of ourselves, leading to a more fulfilled and accomplished life.

Let Euran S. Daniels’ words inspire you to go beyond good. Embrace the potential for better in every aspect of your life—and watch as you grow in ways you may have never expected.

Be brilliant,

-srt

Using the Fist of Five for Collaborative Decision-Making

Decision-making in professional or educational environments often requires balancing diverse perspectives while maintaining momentum. The Fist of Five technique offers a simple yet effective way to gauge consensus, foster engagement, and ensure every voice is heard. Whether you're leading a team meeting or facilitating a classroom discussion, this method can streamline the decision-making process while encouraging thoughtful participation.

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What is the Fist of Five?

The Fist of Five is a voting tool where participants rate their level of agreement or confidence in a proposal by raising fingers to represent their stance:

• 0 (Fist): Strongly disagree or oppose.
• 1: Serious concerns or significant reservations.
• 2: Hesitant but willing to discuss further.
• 3: Neutral or minimally supportive.
• 4: Supportive with minor reservations.
• 5: Fully supportive and enthusiastic.

This approach provides a visual snapshot of group alignment, paving the way for effective discussions and informed decisions.

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When to Use the Fist of Five

In a Professional Setting:

• Project Teams: To evaluate readiness for a new initiative, prioritize tasks, or align on next steps during meetings.
• Team Alignment: To gauge buy-in on strategies, policies, or workflow changes.
• Performance Reviews: To decide on goals or areas of focus for individual or team development.

In a Classroom Setting:

• Group Projects: To determine project direction, divide responsibilities, or agree on deadlines.
• Lesson Discussions: To assess understanding or consensus on concepts or topics.
• Classroom Management: To decide on classroom policies or approaches collaboratively.

How to Use the Fist of Five

1. Introduce the Proposal:
   Clearly present the decision, idea, or topic under consideration. Ensure all participants understand the context and implications.

2. Ask for Votes:
   Request each participant to raise their hand, showing 0 to 5 fingers to indicate their level of agreement.

3. Interpret Results:

   • If most participants show 4 or 5, there’s strong consensus, and you can move forward.
   • If votes are 3 or below, pause to discuss and address concerns.
   • If any participants show 0 or 1, consider revisiting the proposal or exploring alternatives.

4. Facilitate Discussion:

   • Ask those with lower scores to share their concerns.
   • Encourage constructive dialogue to address objections or refine the proposal.

5. Reassess and Act:
   After the discussion, repeat the vote to check for alignment. If consensus is achieved, document the decision and outline next steps.

Why Use the Fist of Five?

• Encourages Inclusive Participation: Ensures that everyone, from extroverts to introverts, can express their perspective.
• Fosters Collaboration: Surfaces divergent views early, promoting a culture of healthy debate and mutual understanding.
• Builds Confidence in Decisions: Reduces the likelihood of unvoiced dissent, ensuring stronger commitment to outcomes.
• Saves Time: Quickly identifies areas of alignment or contention, streamlining the decision-making process.

Best Practices

• Establish Psychological Safety: Create an environment where participants feel comfortable expressing dissent without fear of judgment.
• Clarify Expectations: Ensure everyone understands the voting scale to maintain consistency.
• Focus on the “Why”: When discussing lower scores, emphasize understanding the underlying concerns rather than pushing for agreement.
• Revisit as Needed: Sometimes, decisions require multiple rounds of discussion and refinement—be patient and thorough.

Example in Action

Professional Setting:
A project team is debating whether to adopt a new software tool. Votes show mixed results:

• 3 team members vote 5 (full support).
• 2 vote 3 (neutral).
• 1 votes 1 (serious concerns).

Discussion reveals that the low vote stems from the tool’s compatibility with an existing system. The team explores solutions, such as integrations or alternative tools, and re-votes, ultimately achieving unanimous agreement at 4 or 5.

Classroom Setting:
Students working on a group project vote on their preferred topic:

• Some raise 5 fingers (excited about the topic).
• Others raise 2 or 3 fingers (uncertain).

The instructor facilitates a discussion to address concerns, ensuring the selected topic is one the group can enthusiastically support while accommodating differing viewpoints.

The Impact of the Fist of Five

By incorporating the Fist of Five into your professional or educational environment, you’ll foster a culture of collaboration, transparency, and shared responsibility. This simple yet effective tool empowers teams and students alike to make decisions that everyone can stand behind, enhancing both engagement and outcomes.

Try it in your next meeting or class session—you might be surprised by the clarity and alignment it brings!

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

The Anatomy of Peace: Creating Harmony in a World of Conflict

Conflict is an inevitable part of life, but its resolution lies not in eliminating disagreements but in changing the way we approach them. This profound concept lies at the heart of The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute, a transformative guide that explores how individuals and organizations can foster harmony by addressing the root causes of conflict.

Today's Thursday Thoughts delves into the core principles of the book, illustrating how its teachings can help us navigate personal and professional relationships with greater empathy, understanding, and peace.

Understanding the Core Message

At its essence, The Anatomy of Peace teaches that conflict stems less from external circumstances and more from our internal state—how we see and treat others. The book distinguishes between two mindsets:

1. A Heart at Peace: Viewing others as people, recognizing their humanity, needs, and challenges.
2. A Heart at War: Seeing others as obstacles, threats, or tools to serve our own purposes.

When we operate with a "heart at war," we dehumanize others, which exacerbates conflict. Shifting to a "heart at peace" enables us to approach others with empathy and understanding, paving the way for genuine resolution.

The Boxes of Self-Deception

A central metaphor in the book is the concept of being "in the box." When we are in the box, we distort reality to justify our actions or attitudes. For example:

• Better-Than Box: Viewing oneself as superior, leading to arrogance and judgment.
• Worse-Than Box: Seeing oneself as inferior, fostering resentment or self-pity.
• I-Deserve Box: Believing one is entitled, resulting in entitlement and selfishness.
• Need-to-Be-Seen-As Box: Striving for approval, leading to insecurity and inauthenticity.

These boxes trap us in a cycle of self-deception, preventing us from truly connecting with others.

The Path to Peace

The book outlines a structured approach to achieving peace, emphasizing personal accountability and relationship repair. Here’s how we can move toward a "heart at peace":

1. Look for the Humanity in Others
   Recognize that others have their own fears, desires, and challenges. Treat them as individuals, not as caricatures based on assumptions.

2. Own Your Contribution to Conflict
   Instead of blaming others, reflect on how your actions, attitudes, or justifications may be fueling the situation.

3. Listen and Validate
   Make a genuine effort to understand others' perspectives without judgment. Listening fosters trust and defuses tension.

4. Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
   Shift the conversation from "who’s at fault" to "how can we move forward together?"

5. Act with Empathy
   Small gestures of understanding and kindness can dissolve barriers and rebuild relationships.

Applications in Professional and Personal Life

1. In the Workplace
   A "heart at peace" can transform team dynamics. Leaders who acknowledge employees as individuals with unique needs and strengths foster collaboration, innovation, and loyalty. Resolving workplace conflicts with empathy and accountability prevents toxic environments and enhances productivity.

2. In Families
   Whether it’s a strained parent-child relationship or spousal disagreements, adopting a "heart at peace" can rebuild trust and strengthen bonds. Seeing loved ones as people with their own struggles allows for patience and understanding during conflicts.

3. In Society
   In a polarized world, The Anatomy of Peace reminds us that empathy and mutual respect are key to bridging divides. By stepping out of our boxes, we can engage in meaningful dialogue and create communities rooted in cooperation.

Why It Matters

The teachings of The Anatomy of Peace challenge us to look inward and acknowledge the role we play in perpetuating conflict. It’s a call to take responsibility for our actions and adopt a mindset of empathy and understanding. By transforming our hearts, we can transform our relationships—and by transforming our relationships, we can transform the world.

In the words of the Arbinger Institute: "Peace isn’t merely the absence of conflict; it’s the presence of understanding." When we embrace this truth, we unlock the power to create harmony in our lives and beyond.

Are you ready to put your heart at peace? Start by stepping out of your box and seeing others as they truly are: people. 

Struggling with this concept? Let's set up a coaching session to walk through application using real world scenarios.  

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

The Let Them Theory: The Key to Unlocking Your Best Life (No, Seriously)

Lovelies, it's time to talk about a game-changer. Mel Robbins' Let Them Theory might just be the pep talk you didn’t know you needed. I mean, we’re all busy juggling work, relationships, life admin, and maybe even a side hustle or two (no big deal, right?). The last thing we need is another complicated set of rules to follow. But trust me, this book? It’s a breath of fresh air.

Let’s break down the Let Them Theory and how it can help you embrace your inner badass without the guilt, shame, or burnout. Spoiler: It's about doing less, not more.

1. Let Them Be Themselves (Yes, Even When It's Annoying)

We’ve all been there—someone’s acting a little extra (looking at you, Susan in HR), and your first instinct is to fix it, or worse, judge them. But Mel’s theory encourages a completely different mindset: let them be. Let people do their thing, even if it's driving you up the wall. After all, their actions don’t define your happiness.

The real freedom comes from letting go of that need to control others. Think of it as freeing up precious mental space for things that actually matter. Like, I don’t know… binge-watching that show you’ve been dying to catch up on?

2. Let Yourself Off the Hook (Perfection is Overrated)

Perfectionism? Repeat after me … “that is soooo 2020.” Mel's mantra is simple: you don’t have to have it all together. In fact, trying to be perfect is the quickest route to exhaustion and disappointment. Instead, the Let Them Theory encourages us to embrace imperfection. This doesn’t mean you stop striving for greatness—just that you stop beating yourself up when things don’t go according to plan.

Your best might not always look like someone else’s best, and that’s OK. Sometimes your "best" is just making it through the day with a smile (and no lipstick on your teeth, no judgment).

3. Let Go of the Guilt (You Deserve It)

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt guilty for doing something nice for yourself. (Yeah, I see you). Mel says it’s time to stop that madness. Self-care is not selfish; it's essential. Guilt doesn’t get to rule your life. Whether it's taking a 30-minute break, enjoying a glass of wine on a Tuesday night, or buying those shoes you’ve had your eye on for months—let yourself have it.

You’re not a robot. You’re a human. And humans need breaks, joy, and – if you are me - cute shoes and purses (yes, I have a shoe and purse problem). Trust me, the world will keep turning if you take that moment for yourself.

4. Let Them Be the Experts (You Don’t Have to Know Everything)

Let’s face it—women are notorious for feeling like we need to have all the answers. Whether it’s fixing a broken shelf or solving a complicated work problem, we can feel the pressure to know everything. But guess what? You don’t have to. In fact, Mel encourages us to let others shine in their areas of expertise. You don’t need to be the all-knowing guru of everything.

Let people be great at what they do. And let yourself be great at what you do—without feeling like you need to be everything to everyone.

5. Let Yourself Have Fun (It’s Not a Luxury, It’s a Necessity)

Life is serious enough, so why not have some fun with it? Mel reminds us that we deserve to have joy, laughter, and spontaneous adventures. Don’t wait until everything is "perfect" to let loose. Life is happening now, so grab it by the horns—and make sure there’s time for some laughter along the way.

My dear friend shared with me her goal this year is to live life fully and part of that meant to invest time intentionally with purpose. Yes!! Let’s LIVE.  Not just in 2025.  Let’s fully live everyday for all of our days.

Whether it’s a weekend getaway with friends, or just a spontaneous dance party in your living room, embrace the fun. It's essential for your mental health and overall well-being.

6. Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You (Even If It’s Hard)

This is the tough one. Sometimes we have to let go of things—or people—that don’t serve our higher purpose. Whether it’s a toxic work environment, a friendship that’s more draining than uplifting, or that dress that just never seems to fit right (even though you’ve been holding onto it for years)—let it go.

You can’t move forward if you’re holding on to things that are holding you back. Mel’s advice here is all about honoring your personal growth and making space for the good stuff.

7. The Power of Perspective (Thanks, Lisa Bilyeu)

Here’s the cherry on top: Lisa Bilyeu, co-founder of Quest Nutrition and all-around powerhouse, brings a mind-blowing framework to the table: The Power of Perspective. And no, it’s not just some fluffy concept—it’s the real deal when it comes to handling the tough stuff.

Lisa talks about how, as human beings, we often see the world from our own point of view and assume we’re right (cue the classic “I’m always right” internal dialogue). But here’s the twist: by shifting your perspective and trying to understand where the other person is coming from, you instantly relieve yourself of so much unnecessary stress.

Instead of reacting defensively or jumping to conclusions, take a moment to pause and ask: Why is this person acting this way? What might they be going through? When you change your perspective, you open yourself up to more empathy, understanding, and peace. No one has it all figured out, and seeing things through someone else’s eyes can free you from the constant need to fix or control everything and everyone.

In the end, Mel Robbins' Let Them Theory is all about releasing control, embracing imperfection, and giving yourself the permission to just be. It’s a simple shift in mindset that can radically change the way you approach your life. And as women, we’re pretty damn good at juggling a million things at once—so why not give ourselves the freedom to let go of the unnecessary stress?

Remember: You don’t have to do it all. You’re allowed to take breaks, let others do their thing, and most importantly, have some fun along the way. So go ahead—let them be, let yourself off the hook, and let joy in.

You’ve earned it. 💖

Happy Thursday all,

-srt