Starting the New Year Seeking Glimmers

The New Year often arrives with pressure. New goals. New habits. A new version of ourselves we feel we should become by January 2nd. But this year, what if we started differently? What if instead of striving for a complete overhaul, we began by simply seeking glimmers?

A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger. While triggers activate stress, fear, or overwhelm, glimmers gently signal safety to the nervous system. They are the small, meaningful moments that bring joy, peace, gratitude, or connection. A quiet morning. Laughter that catches you off guard. The way sunlight spills across the floor. A deep breath that reminds you that you are here and you are okay.

Glimmers don’t demand big changes. They invite awareness.

Why Glimmers Matter at the Start of a New Year

January is often framed as a time to fix what’s broken. But many of us aren’t broken—we’re tired. Overstimulated. Carrying more than we realize. Beginning the year by seeking glimmers allows us to start from a place of compassion rather than correction.

When we intentionally notice glimmers, we train our brains to recognize safety and goodness. Neuroscience tells us that what we pay attention to grows stronger. The more we look for glimmers, the more our nervous system learns that calm and joy are available—even in imperfect days.

This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or pretending life is easy. It means giving equal attention to what is life-giving.

Glimmers Are Small and That’s the Point

Glimmers are not grand moments. They don’t require perfect circumstances or a vacation or a major achievement. In fact, they often show up in the most ordinary places:

• The first sip of coffee in the morning

• A text from someone who thought of you

• Music that matches your mood

• A moment of silence between tasks

• The feeling of your feet on the ground

These moments are easy to miss when we’re rushing toward the next thing. Seeking glimmers asks us to slow down just enough to notice what’s already here.

A Gentler Intention for the Year Ahead

Instead of resolutions rooted in pressure, consider this intention: I will practice noticing what nourishes me.

This might look like:

• Pausing at the end of the day to name one glimmer

• Keeping a simple glimmer journal or note on your phone

• Sharing glimmers with a friend or family member

• Taking a breath when you notice a moment of calm

Over time, these small practices can reshape how you experience your days. Not by changing everything, but by changing what you see.

Let This Be a Year of Presence

As you step into the New Year, you don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need a perfect plan. You only need willingness—to notice the quiet moments that remind you of who you are and what matters.

May this be the year you stop rushing past your life.
May this be the year you honor small joys.
May this be the year you seek glimmers and let them guide you home to yourself.

Happy Thursday lovelies,

-srt

CaliGrl

The first time Cali flew clean, from the hilltop to the pond without clocking me with a wing, she hit the water like a silver skater, skimmed, and turned back to us with that proud, "I did it" honk. We had been yelling “Cali, fly!” for weeks, and that day, she did.

She was not supposed to be ours. Before Cali, the farm already belonged to George and Martha, resident Canadian geese who nested anywhere ridiculous, the archery target, a hay pile, the pond’s edge. We finally built them an island, and by year twelve, a floating island, and they raised brood after brood.

Their sons, Ryan and BRyan Gosling, were trouble from the start. BRyan once wedged himself in a fence post hole while George flapped and honked like I was the villain. I told him if he pecked me I would choke that neck. He thought better of it, and I pulled BRyan free. BRyan and Ryan later paired up and chose the neighbor’s barn roof for a nest, romantic, disastrous. Every spring, the wind returned their nest to the ground.

One year, after another wind tossed mess, two of their eggs survived. The neighbor knew we had been incubating chickens. “Want to try?” Sure, why not. Only one egg hatched. Out slid a wrinkly, platypus looking creature who would become CaliGrl.

We planned to raise her gently and send her to George and Martha’s flock. That lasted five minutes. Cali struggled to eat, so we hand fed her. She hated being alone, so she lived inside my sweater. I slept on the floor with her tucked against me. I sang her to sleep,

“I love you, CaliGrl, oh yes I do,
I love you, CaliGrl, that is true…”

"You Are My Sunshine", "Hush Little Baby", every lullaby I could remember. The songs glued us together. Even now, if I start a tune, she comes running from anywhere in the yard, honking, flapping, flying straight to me.

Early on, she roomed with two chickens, both Aman Ceymani, who accepted their role as minions. Then came Daisy, a scruffy mallard duckling rescued from the park. We meant to take Daisy to wildlife rehab, but under our roof she thrived and fused herself to Cali. Goose and duck, best friends. Wherever Cali went, Daisy waddled.

We decided to hatch a dozen of our own eggs so the odd couple could have a crew. Twelve in, twelve out. Instant chaos. Cali and Daisy became mom and mom, herding fuzzballs while the two original chickens focused on food like it was a full-time job. Four chicks turned out to be roosters, Cali’s sworn enemies. She hated the crowing, the strut, the whole rooster lifestyle. Mornings produced naked butt chickens, their tail feathers plucked by an indignant goose. We rehomed the boys, and the temperature dropped back to peaceful.

Our final flock felt like a sitcom cast, Cali, Daisy, the two originals, and eight new chickens, ten characters in a perfectly chaotic little family. That is when Cali decided walking was not enough. She wanted to fly. Not just once, fly, land, fly, land, on repeat. The afternoon chore route turned into flight school. We would sprint the hill above the pond, chanting, “Cali, fly!” She would launch, sometimes smack me with a wing, crash land, then try again. Little by little, the crashes smoothed into circles, then into the glide I can still see, wings set, water shimmering, a graceful skid and a triumphant honk.

Middays are for picnics. We spread a blanket in the front yard, Cali grazes while I sip water, or sometimes a Monster, and nibble crackers. She talks the entire time, about her day, about the other birds, about the state of the grass, as if I were her secretary.

The grandnephews love it. They hold full conversations with her. Once, after nine neighboring geese invaded the pond, squawking, flapping, making life miserable, Cali screamed for backup. I ran over, “They are not nice. Do not try to be their friends.” Later, Emmett crouched beside her and said, “Girl, why did they do that to you, that is sooo mean, you are beautiful.” I got it on video.  Previewing it I laughed so hard I nearly fell over. Emmett is a natural sunshine maker, and I could hear him saying that to any kid at school who needed it. Cali heard it too. She settled, nibbled grass, and kept up her running commentary like a news anchor who had survived breaking news.

Cali came to us from a fallen roof nest, survived and thrived.  This little being, a wrinkle of a thing who became a yellow puffball, then a gawky brontosaurus, then a sleek, confident goose. With Daisy and the chickens, she built a neighborhood out of misfits and snacks. She is gardener, guardian, flight instructor, songbird, picnic companion, and family, wrapped in feathers.

When I sing, she still answers. Sometimes she flies first, then lands and tucks herself against my leg while I finish the last line. The farm is richer for it, our island, our hill, our pond, and the chorus we made together,

“I love you, CaliGrl, oh yes I do,
I love you, CaliGrl, and you knew.”

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

Celebrating Success and Learning to Toot Your Own Horn, Humbly

Last year, I was invited to speak to a group of high school girls about celebrating success and how to toot your own horn, humbly. It is a topic we do not talk about nearly enough, especially with young women who are just beginning to discover their strengths. We tell them to work hard, to be grateful, to be team players, but we rarely teach them how to confidently recognize their own accomplishments without feeling like they are bragging.

So, I shared my own journey. I talked about what I have learned in corporate America and how I had to grow into a leadership style that balances humility with self-advocacy. And I read them the speech below. It reflects the path I have walked, the lessons I have learned, and the pride I have learned to stand in.

Here is the speech I gave.

Speech: Celebrating Success and Tooting Your Own Horn, Humbly

Good afternoon everyone,
and thank you for the opportunity to share a bit of my journey.

When I look back on my career in Corporate America, what stands out to me is not just the big milestones but the learning that came with each step. For a long time, I believed that if I simply worked hard and stayed focused, the results would speak for themselves. And sometimes they did. But many times, they did not. I had to learn that sometimes the work needs a voice. Sometimes you have to speak up for your own contributions so others can truly see the impact you are making.

That is where I learned the art of celebrating my own success while also lifting up the team around me. It is not bragging. It is not being the loudest in the room. It is acknowledging the truth of your efforts and the difference they created.

I am proud that I launched the first vendor scorecard at my place of business. That scorecard allowed us to move from assumption and storytelling into fact-based conversations with our third party and fourth party vendors. It created transparency, it created accountability and it strengthened our operational relationships.

I am proud that I completely rewrote the roles of the first line, the second line and the third line of defense. I built out a playbook that helped each group understand its purpose and stay within its swim lanes. That clarity changed the way we worked together, and it protected the organization in meaningful ways.

I am proud that I stepped in and took a leadership role in ISO 20022. During conversion weekend, our preparation and teamwork allowed a successful integration with SWIFT. It was complex work, it was high pressure work, and the outcome reflected strong collaboration and calm decision making.

And most of all, I am proud of my leadership style. I am proud of my ability to stand firm when senior management pushed us to move faster, and to report back with a steady, fact-based risk lens. Leadership is not about reacting to pressure. Leadership is about grounding decisions in what is responsible, what is true, and what supports the long-term health of the organization.

Through all of these experiences, I have learned that celebrating myself does not diminish the team. It actually honors the work we accomplished together. Every win was possible because of the people around me. When I share what I achieved, I am also celebrating what we achieved.

Humility is not silence. Humility is standing in your truth without exaggeration and without apology. And when we celebrate our successes openly, we show others that they can do the same. We create cultures where people feel valued, seen and motivated to grow.

So today, I stand proud of my contributions and grateful for the teams that helped make them possible. And I encourage all of us, especially the next generation of women leaders, to celebrate your wins boldly, to celebrate your teams generously and to never be afraid to let your work speak through you.

Thank you.

Sharing this message with those high school girls reminded me that confidence is a skill we build, not something we wake up with one day. If we can teach young women to honor their achievements early, to speak proudly about what they bring to the table and to do it with humility and gratitude, we help create a future where their voices are not only heard but expected. My hope is that each of them walks forward knowing that their success is worth celebrating and that their story, just like yours and mine, deserves to be told.

Happy Thursday lovelies,

-srt

The Benefits of Using a SWOT Analysis: A Walk-Through

Introduction: The Secret Decoder Ring for Strategy

Every project manager dreams of having a crystal ball. Something to reveal the hidden strengths that could drive success, the weaknesses waiting to trip us up, the golden opportunities just around the corner, and the looming threats nobody wants to admit are real.

While I cannot hand you a crystal ball, I can give you the next best thing: a SWOT Analysis. It is the strategic equivalent of a decoder ring. 

Simple, reliable, and surprisingly powerful. 

Born in the 1960s and still going strong, SWOT helps teams, organizations, and individuals connect what is happening inside with what is happening outside.

Strengths: Your Superpowers

Strengths are your internal wins, the areas where you shine. They are the project equivalent of showing up to a potluck with the best homemade pie. People notice, and it makes an impact.

Ask yourself:

• What do we do better than most

• What resources make us stand out

• What past wins can we build on

Leaning into your strengths is not bragging. It is smart strategy.

Weaknesses: The Elephant in the Room

No project is flawless. Weaknesses are the things you might rather not highlight but need to face directly. They are the flat tire on an otherwise great road trip.

Questions to ask:

• Where do we stumble again and again

• Which resources or skills are missing

• What feedback do we keep getting but ignore

Identifying weaknesses is not about self criticism. It is about patching the flat before you are stranded on the side of the highway.

Opportunities: The Open Doors

Opportunities are the external conditions that make you think, “If we do not act now, someone else will.” They are the open doors, the wind in your sails, or the extra fries at the bottom of the bag.

Consider:

• Which trends are working in our favor

• Are there partnerships, policies, or technologies we can use

• What unmet needs are waiting for us to address

Spotting opportunities early can turn a good project into a breakthrough one.

Threats: The Storm Clouds

Threats are the things outside your control that can disrupt your best-laid plans. They are the storm clouds hanging over your project picnic.

Ask:

• What competitors are doing better than we are

• What political, economic, or social shifts could impact us

• Where might disruption catch us off guard

Acknowledging threats is about preparation, not paranoia. A good raincoat can turn a storm into just another walk in the rain.

The Balance: Internal and External

SWOT’s real value lies in its balance. Strengths and weaknesses focus on what you can control. Opportunities and threats remind you of what you must respond to. Together, they provide a panoramic view of reality, including your wins, your challenges, and the external conditions that shape success.

A Real World Example: Farmers Market Delivery App

Picture this. You are launching a mobile app that connects local farmers to customers. Here is what your SWOT might reveal:

Strengths: close farmer relationships, intuitive app design, skilled marketing team
Weaknesses: limited funding, no customer service staff, logistics challenges
Opportunities: increased demand for local food, grants for sustainable agriculture, eco delivery partnerships
Threats: larger grocery apps moving in, supply chain disruptions, rising delivery costs

See how this shapes strategy? The team can apply for grants, streamline onboarding, and pilot in one region to reduce risk. SWOT does not just highlight issues. It sparks solutions.

Why Bother with SWOT?

The payoff is significant:

Clarity: it helps you see what matters most
Focus: it directs energy where it counts
Alignment: it connects your strengths to the environment you work in
Strategy: it provides a framework for smarter and more sustainable decisions

It is like putting on glasses after squinting too long. Suddenly, the picture is clear.

Final Thought

SWOT is not just about filling in four boxes on a chart. It is a mindset of curiosity and honesty. It invites you to pause, look inward and outward, and ask: What is really going on here

It is simple. It is adaptable. And it may be the difference between a project that struggles and one that succeeds.

So next time you are planning something important, do not leave it to chance. Grab your SWOT. Your crystal ball is closer than you think.

SWOT Away lovelies,

-srt

Seven Wednesdays, Finishing the Year With Intention, Presence, and Beauty

There is something powerful about the number seven. Seven days in a week, seven colors in the rainbow, seven notes in a musical scale. And now, there are seven Wednesdays left before the year comes to a close.

Seven pauses.
Seven recalibrations.
Seven midweek moments to breathe and begin again.

Wednesdays are often overlooked, caught between the hurry of the beginning and the fatigue of the end. 

Funny, Wednesday are actually when I write my Thursday Thoughts.  They have always been a day of heads down, kick into gear, get it done ... 

But, when I looked at my calendar today, I realized we have seven Wednesdays until we are into the New Year.  And, then, I started viewing the next seven Wednesdays as steppingstones into a new year, something shifted. They became checkpoints, invitations, opportunities to realign.

What if these next seven Wednesdays were not just the midpoint of another week, but seven powerful reminders to return to yourself?

Let us explore how you can use each one with intention.

1. Take Them in Your Hand

When we have only a handful of something left, days, conversations, chapters, we tend to hold them with more care and more meaning.

These seven Wednesdays are a gift.

You do not need a new month or a new year to reset. You can decide right now, these Wednesdays will be different.

This is your invitation to step out of autopilot and into awareness.

2. Live Them Differently

Wednesdays can feel like the turning point of the week, where stress accumulates and energy dips. But they can become moments of renewal instead of moments of collapse.

Try shifting your approach:

• Begin each Wednesday with a grounding practice
• Recommit to what matters most for the week
• Release overwhelm and return to what feels true
• Choose one small, meaningful action to realign your direction

When you live differently, even a midweek day becomes extraordinary.

3. Realize How Precious Your Life Is

Life becomes more meaningful when we remember it is finite, not to create fear, but to spark appreciation.

These Wednesdays are not just dates on a calendar.
They are reminders to wake up to your life.

Use them to notice the people you love, appreciate the breath in your lungs, recognize the beauty in your routines, and honor how far you have come.

When you treat time as precious, your days become richer.

4. Magnify the Beautiful Things

Beauty grows where attention goes.

Each Wednesday is a chance to magnify the beautiful things in your life, even if the world feels busy or uncertain.

Try this practice:

• Name three beautiful things
• Celebrate a midweek win
• Acknowledge a moment of joy or connection
• Notice what is working instead of what is not

When you magnify beauty, you shift your inner landscape.

5. Finish the Year Strong, In Your Own Way

Strong does not have to mean pushing harder.

Strong can mean clear boundaries, quiet confidence, thoughtful choices, authentic presence, and rest that restores instead of drains.

Finishing the year strong can be gentle.
It can be intentional.
It can be an act of self-respect instead of self-pressure.

Your Wednesdays can anchor that strength.

6. Focus on Now

Whatever happened earlier this year, whether triumph or heartbreak, is behind you.

These Wednesdays are not about what came before.
They are about what you can shape now.

Each one gives you a fresh opportunity to realign, correct course, and breathe into the present instead of replaying the past.

Presence is your power.

7. Give Yourself a Blank Slate

A blank slate is not something the calendar hands you. It is something you choose.

Let these Wednesdays remind you that you can forgive yourself, release old stories, reset your mindset, reimagine your direction, and welcome new truths and new beauty.

You can color the rest of this year with clarity, intention, and love.
You can choose to make your life beautiful, beginning now.

Make Life Beautiful, Starting With These Wednesdays

Beauty does not appear by accident. It is created through conscious choices, intentional attention, the courage to slow down, and the willingness to see your life differently.

Seven Wednesdays is not a countdown.
It is an invitation.

A chance to end the year with clarity, a chance to reconnect with your soul, a chance to create a softer, truer, and more grounded ending, and a brighter beginning.

Take these Wednesdays in your hand.
Live them fully, live them gently, live them beautifully.

Happy Wednesday <3,

-srt

Harnessing the Power of Mind Mapping: Turning Chaos into Clarity

When I first proposed an incentive program to the manager of our local Sizzler, it didn’t even have a name that I can recall. 

My mom, a teacher at Loomis Grammar School, was searching for a way to encourage good behavior in her classroom. At the same time, I was working as a waitress at Sizzler while taking a business class that required me to create a marketing idea for a business.

It all seemed to align, the school’s need, my class project, and my workplace connection. The only request from the elementary school was a “Caught Ya Being Good” certificate, something small to recognize positive behavior. I thought, Perfect, that’s my project.

But as I began developing the program, I felt there was more potential hiding just beneath the surface. I had one good idea, but what if it could be bigger? What if we could celebrate not just good behavior, but effort, kindness, academics, attendance, leadership, and growth?

That is when I turned to mind mapping. I placed “Incentive Program” in the center of the page and began branching out. From that single “Caught Ya Being Good” idea, six additional certificates emerged, each one representing a different way to recognize and inspire students.

The transformation was remarkable. Teachers had more ways to celebrate their students. Children were motivated by the variety of recognition opportunities. Parents noticed the difference in their kids’ pride and engagement. What started as one certificate became a vibrant, multifaceted system, thanks to the clarity and creativity that mind mapping provided.

The program grew beyond that first classroom. It grew beyond that one store in Auburn, California to Northern California and then more states.  Over time, I created versions for KFC, Taco Bell, A&W, and Sizzler, before eventually deciding to move into corporate America. Looking back, mind mapping gave me the structure and vision to take a simple school idea and expand it into a larger business concept.

Why Mind Mapping Matters

Mind mapping is not just about staying organized. It is about unlocking new possibilities. Instead of keeping ideas trapped in scattered lists, mind mapping mirrors the way our minds naturally connect thoughts.

• Clarity: Breaks complex programs into clear categories

• Creativity: Sparks fresh insights and new directions

• Retention: Combines visuals and words for stronger memory

• Confidence: Turns overwhelm into actionable steps

For professionals, educators, and leaders, mind mapping becomes a bridge between inspiration and implementation.

When to Use Mind Mapping

Mind mapping is powerful in situations where you need both structure and imagination:

• School and Community Programs: Designing initiatives like Sizzler

• Project Planning: Outlining goals, timelines, and responsibilities

• Strategic Thinking: Exploring scenarios before committing to a path

• Brainstorming: Generating content, campaign ideas, or presentations

• Personal Growth: Mapping goals, values, or future vision

Whenever you feel limited by a single idea, or overwhelmed by too many, it is the right time to map it out.

How to Use Mind Mapping

The process is simple and energizing:

1. Start with the Central Idea: Place the main theme (for example, “Incentive Program”) in the center

2. Branch Out: Add main categories like behavior, academics, leadership, teamwork

3. Expand with Details: Build sub branches (specific certificates, logistics, recognition methods)

4. Add Color and Symbols: Highlight priorities and bring energy to the map

5. Refine: Review, expand, and adjust as new ideas surface

My first mind map was on a piece of poster board that I carried all the way to LA to pitch to Sizzler's Head of Marketing.  Nowadays, I recommend digital tools like MindMeister or Miro, mind mapping makes complex planning feel approachable.

The Feminine Edge Vision with Structure

What I love most about mind mapping is how it balances intuition with structure. It is expansive yet organized, creative yet practical. For the Incentive Programs, it allowed me to honor the original idea while expanding it into something bigger and more inspiring, programs that celebrated not just behavior, but character and community.

Closing Thought

The journey from one “Caught Ya Being Good” certificate to a full suite of student recognitions, and later to multiple restaurant brands, is proof of what happens when we give our ideas room to grow.

Mind mapping does not just help us get organized. It helps us see possibilities, spark innovation, and lead with clarity and grace.

Your next great idea may be waiting for you to map it out.

Happy Thursday dreamers,

-srt

P.S. What projects might you use a mind map on?  If you need a place to start, reach out via email or cell and I can help you get going.  

Unlocking Innovation: How SCAMPER Transforms Stalled Ideas

I still remember sitting in a conference room, staring at a whiteboard filled with half-baked concepts for a new platform to capture innovative ideas across the organization. The goal was simple yet ambitious: build a space where creativity could thrive, where every employee, from intern to executive, could share ideas to shape our future.

But the brainstorming session? It was painfully uninspiring.

Every proposal looked predictable. The features mirrored tools we already had, the design lacked spark, and the conversation turned quickly to limitations, budget, time, and technology. The energy drained from the room, and it felt like we were about to create a platform no one would actually use.

That was, until we paused, regrouped and decided the next day to try something different. 

The next day we introduced the SCAMPER technique to the room.  And, let me be clear, it wasn't me ... I had never heard of SCAMPER.  But, someone on our team had and thank heavens they threw the idea out!  

While we received groans and a couple sighs, by noon the team had structure and energy again. Instead of circling the same old ideas, we began asking new questions: What if we substituted the submission process with voice notes? What if we combined recognition with gamification? What if we eliminated barriers like logins altogether?

By the end of the session, our ordinary project had transformed into something extraordinary. The platform vision evolved into a dynamic, engaging hub that truly reflected the innovative spirit we wanted to unleash. That’s the power of SCAMPER.

Why SCAMPER Matters

Innovation rarely happens by accident; it happens when we give ourselves both permission and structure to think differently. SCAMPER matters because:

• It sparks divergent thinking and challenges the status quo.
• It provides a framework for creativity, so teams don’t get stuck in the “blank page” problem.
• It can be applied to products, services, processes, or platforms—any challenge can be reframed with its prompts.
• It levels the playing field, giving every team member, not just the loudest voices, a way to contribute fresh ideas.

SCAMPER is the bridge between “we’ve tried this before” and “what if we tried this differently?”

When to Use SCAMPER

Think of SCAMPER as your secret weapon when ideas stall or need a refresh. Use it:

• At the start of innovation projects to broaden the creative landscape.
• When teams feel stuck in sameness or uninspired.
• To re-energize stalled conversations or overcome creative roadblocks.
• In design thinking workshops or ideation labs.
• Anytime you’re aiming to transform the ordinary into the remarkable.

How to Use SCAMPER

Each letter is a lens to see your challenge differently:

• S – Substitute: What processes, tools, or materials could be replaced?
• C – Combine: What features or functions could we merge?
• A – Adapt: What approaches from other industries could we apply?
• M – Modify (Magnify/Minify): What can we expand, shrink, or simplify?
• P – Put to another use: How else could this platform serve people?
• E – Eliminate: What unnecessary steps or barriers can we remove?
• R – Reverse/Rearrange: What if we flipped the process or reordered the flow?

Start with your core challenge.  In this case, designing an idea-capturing platform. Work systematically through each prompt, capturing every possibility without judgment. Evaluation comes later; the goal is exploration.

Inspiration for Leaders

As leaders, it’s easy to feel the pressure to have all the answers. But true innovation doesn’t emerge from lone genius, it comes from collective creativity. SCAMPER equips you to lead those conversations with clarity and confidence.

It’s not about inventing something entirely new, it’s about reimagining what’s already possible. SCAMPER asks us to look at the same challenge with fresh eyes and bold curiosity.

When you bring SCAMPER into your projects, you do more than brainstorm. You ignite a culture of possibility. And in that space, ideas that once felt impossible begin to take shape.

Happy Thursday dreamers,

-srt

Tell me … what challenge in your work right now could benefit from being seen through the SCAMPER lens and how can Rea Coaching and Consulting assist? 

The Power of a Stakeholder Analysis Matrix

I’ll never forget the enterprise technology policy republish that nearly unraveled before it even began.

We had the vision, the funding, and the mandate. But what we didn’t have was alignment. Meetings ran in circles, decisions were questioned after the fact, and resistance bubbled up in places we didn’t expect. The project timeline slipped, not because of technology issues, but because we hadn’t taken the time to fully understand and engage the people most impacted.

It wasn’t until we paused and built out a Stakeholder Analysis Matrix to accompany the RACI that the fog lifted. Suddenly, we could see who needed to be kept closely engaged, who simply needed updates, and who might quietly derail the effort if ignored. With clarity came focus, and with focus came progress.

That project taught me one of the most important lessons in leadership: technology doesn’t fail people, people fail technology when we don’t bring them along.

Why Use a Stakeholder Analysis Matrix?

Projects don’t exist in a vacuum; they live in human systems. A stakeholder analysis matrix helps you:

• Anticipate resistance and build support. You’ll see where concerns may surface and address them proactively.
• Clarify roles and communication needs. Not everyone requires the same level of detail or frequency of updates.
• Prioritize wisely. Energy is finite—direct it toward the voices and influencers that matter most.
• Build trust. Transparency and inclusion reduce the “surprise factor” that often breeds opposition.

At its heart, stakeholder analysis is about managing relationships and expectations, not just lists and grids

When to Use It

Think of stakeholder analysis as a living document, not a one-time exercise. Key moments include:

• At the very beginning of a project, during planning.
• When embarking on a major change initiative.
• Any time conditions shift or new players enter the scene.

If you wait until problems arise, you’re already playing catch-up.

How to Use the Matrix

The process is simple but powerful:

1. Identify stakeholders. Who has an interest in, or influence over, your project? Think beyond the obvious.
2. Analyze influence and interest. Place stakeholders on the Influence/Interest Grid:
• High Power / High Interest → Manage Closely
• High Power / Low Interest → Keep Satisfied
• Low Power / High Interest → Keep Informed
• Low Power / Low Interest → Monitor
3. Engage and communicate. Tailor strategies to each quadrant. Ask yourself:
• What are their motivations and concerns?
• What support or information do they need?
• How can trust be built if they resist?

And then, update it regularly. Because relationships shift as quickly as policies do.

Inspiration for Leaders

If you’re leading change, whether in technology, business, or community life, remember this: your success is tied not only to the brilliance of your solution, but to the hearts and minds you carry with you.

A stakeholder analysis matrix isn’t just a project management tool; it’s a leadership mindset. It’s about seeing people clearly, respecting their influence, and creating pathways for partnership.

When you do, projects move from resistance to momentum, from chaos to clarity.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. Share in the comments or DM what project are you working on right now that could benefit from mapping your stakeholders?  And, how can Rea Coaching and Consulting help you?

Empathy Maps: What They Are and When to Use Them

Last year, I facilitated a workshop with a group of professionals who came from very different backgrounds. Some were deeply rooted in their faith traditions, others described themselves as spiritual but not religious, and a few identified as secular. 

As the conversation opened, tension was present in the room. People were polite, but you could feel the undercurrent of difference.

Rather than dive into debate or encourage people to “agree to disagree,” I used the example of faith / religion to introduce the concept of an empathy map.  It could not have gone any better and I have used the same example to teach empathy maps ever since. 

Before I get into the example, let me set the stage for empathy mapping. 

Empathy maps were first introduced around 2010 by Dave Gray, the founder of XPLANE, as part of design thinking and visual collaboration. He included the tool in his book Gamestorming. Since then, empathy maps have been used widely in design, product development, business strategy, and education. They exist because people needed a simple and visual way to understand others more deeply.

When we want to solve problems, design solutions, or connect with others, it’s easy to get stuck in our own perspective. We make assumptions, fill in the blanks with guesses, and rush into solutions. That’s where an empathy map becomes powerful because it slows us down and helps us see through someone else’s eyes.

What is an Empathy Map?

An empathy map is a simple, visual framework that organizes what we know about a person, whether a customer, stakeholder, or teammate. It’s usually divided into four main sections:

• Says – What the person openly shares.

• Thinks – What is on their mind but may remain unspoken.

• Feels – The emotions driving their experiences.

• Does – The behaviors and actions we observe.

Many versions also include Pains (frustrations, obstacles) and Gains (motivations, desires). Together, these elements create a holistic snapshot of the human experience.

Why Use an Empathy Map?

Empathy maps bring clarity and alignment. They:

• Help us move beyond assumptions and focus on real insights.

• Build shared understanding within teams so everyone sees the problem the same way.

• Encourage us to humanize data—numbers and surveys transform into stories and lived experiences.

• Provide a foundation for better solutions, whether in business, education, healthcare, or leadership.

When Are Empathy Maps Best Used?

Empathy maps shine when you need to deepen understanding before acting. Some key times include:

1. At the start of a project – to build a shared picture of the people you’re designing or planning for.

2. During research – to organize insights from interviews, surveys, or observations.

3. When a problem keeps repeating – to uncover hidden needs or frustrations that numbers alone won’t show.

4. In conflict resolution – to step into another person’s shoes and see the issue from their perspective.

5. In marketing or communication – to align messages with what people actually care about, not just what you want to say.

Now back to my example...

Mapping Perspectives Instead of Positions

I asked the group to choose one person’s story to map. We listened to a participant describe how their faith gave them strength during difficult times. On the surface, that could have sparked disagreement from others who did not share the same beliefs. But the empathy map shifted the focus.

• Says: “My faith helps me stay hopeful when things are uncertain.”

• Thinks: “I sometimes wonder if others understand how important this is to me.”

• Feels: A mix of gratitude and vulnerability.

• Does: Attends services regularly, volunteers in the community, leans on prayer during challenges.

As the group filled in the sections, something powerful happened. The discussion wasn’t about whether faith was “right” or “wrong.” It was about understanding the lived experience of one human being.

What We Discovered Together

Once the map was complete, I asked the group: “What patterns do you see?”

The answers were eye-opening:

• “I may not share the same belief system, but I know what it feels like to want strength in hard times.”

• “I can relate to wanting community support, even if I find it elsewhere.”

• “The need for hope and belonging seems universal.”

The empathy map had done its work. Instead of a room divided by belief, we found common ground in shared human needs.

When Empathy Maps Are Most Powerful

That workshop reminded me why empathy maps are so effective: they help us step past categories and labels, and into the deeper layers of what people truly think, feel, and value. They are best used when:

• You are navigating differences in values or beliefs.

• You want to reduce conflict by focusing on understanding rather than persuasion.

• You need to build connection across diversity—whether in teams, classrooms, communities, or families.

Wrap Up

Empathy maps are not the solution themselves, but they sharpen our vision. They reveal the human stories behind the data and guide us toward solutions that truly address real needs. More importantly, they create a respectful space where people can be seen and heard. While our beliefs and perspectives may differ, empathy maps remind us that we are often united by deeper needs for belonging, purpose, and understanding.

If you want to lead, innovate, or simply connect more deeply, start by mapping empathy.

Happy Thursday all,

-srt

P.S. If you’d like guidance in using tools like empathy maps to improve communication, leadership, or team collaboration, I’d be happy to support you through Rea Coaching & Consulting.

Stop the Chaos, Start Connecting

Everywhere we look, it feels like the world is shouting. The news screams, social media argues, and neighbors divide over things that used to feel small. We’re living in a time when anger spreads faster than facts and connection feels harder to find.

But here’s the truth: we can stop the chaos if we choose connection over division.

Somewhere along the way, we became quick to blame instead of understand. We rush to sue, shout, or shame instead of solve. We misdirect our rage toward one another when most of us are just trying to get by. And we pour that frustration into social media posts that only deepen the divide, when what we really need is conversation, compassion, and partnership.

We don’t have to agree on everything to care about each other. We don’t have to share the same background, vote the same way, or see the world through the same lens to build something better together. What we do need is the courage to slow down, listen, and see the human being across from us.

It starts in small, powerful ways:

• Ask a genuine question instead of assuming the worst.
• Choose a conversation over a comment thread.
• Spend more time with people who don’t think like you, but who want the same things at heart: safety, belonging, hope, and purpose.

The truth is, most of us want the same outcome, we just differ on how to get there. When we step back from the noise and lean into listening, we begin to remember that we are more alike than we are different.

Toxic division thrives on fear. Connection thrives on curiosity, compassion, and courage. One builds walls. The other builds bridges.

So maybe the change we need won’t come from a headline or a hashtag. Maybe it starts at our own dinner tables, in our neighborhoods, our classrooms, and our workplaces, one honest conversation at a time.

Let’s be the generation that quiets the noise and chooses empathy over outrage. The world doesn’t need more chaos. It needs more connection, and it starts with us.

Happy Thursday lovelies  Its rough out there.  Be kind to one another.  

-srt

Losing Patience at the Happiest Place on the Planet

It was a long, buzzing day at Disneyland, the kind where rides, lines, and crowds stretch the limits of anyone’s endurance. I was there with a group of foster children participating in a sibling reunification event.  

I was assigned to a young foster child, a boy with sharp at the edges and still figuring out how to belong in the world. After one especially questionable decision, I decided to try something different.  I exaggeratedly patted my pocket, as if searching for something important. I dug around deeper and deeper, my expression growing serious. “I have something for you,” I said, drawing out the moment and making him curious about what I could possibly be hiding.

Finally, I pulled my hand out, did my best attempt to pick at imaginary lint, but then landed it in front of him open, empty.
“This, minus the lint,” I said, “is all the patience I have left. I am giving it to you.”

He looked at my hand with a mix of confusion and disbelief. Then, with a sly grin, he plucked the invisible patience from my palm. Without hesitation, he threw it on the ground, stomped on it, and ground it deep into the dirt with the heel of his shoe.

I did not flinch. “That patience was important to me and, if you aren't going to use it I would like it back” I told him calmly. “You need to pick it back up, even the pieces stuck to your shoe.”

He gave me a look of pure bewilderment, the kind that said this woman is completely crazy.  But after seeing my "I am waiting" face, he crouched down and carefully picked up the invisible patience, even pretending to dig a few stubborn bits out of his sneaker tread. When he stood, he held it out to me, mangled and squished in his hand.

I smiled and said softly, “Just hold it for a few minutes. It will start to feel better. Patience just needs calm to heal, to regrow and regroup.”

For the first time that day, he was still. He cupped the invisible patience gently, then began to pet it with one finger. In a normal, quiet voice, a voice that carried more tenderness than defiance, he whispered to it, “You are getting better. I think you are okay now.”  He then looked at me and smile.  I could not help but smile back.

Something changed after that. He stayed close to me for the rest of the day. Maybe it was because of the invisible patience we were nursing back to health, or maybe it was the fact that I was blasting the KPOP Demon Hunter soundtrack, turning our walk through the park into an epic adventure. To me, it felt like we were not just walking through Disneyland, we were on a quest, protecting something fragile and good.

On the train, he lifted patience up to see the view. In quieter moments, he stroked it and whispered to it again. Somewhere between the rides and the laughter, the invisible patience became something real, a reminder that calm, kindness, and connection can grow even in the most unexpected places.

When the day began to wind down and the buses pulled up before dark, he turned to me and held out his hand.
“Do you want your patience back?” he said.

I shook my head. “No. I think you might need it this week. Be kind to it.”

He nodded solemnly, tucked the invisible patience into his pocket, and held out his fist. I met it with mine.

“I think you are amazing and smart,” I told him. “And I hope you always choose to be kind. Take care of patience.”

He did not say much, but the way he walked away, patience safe in his pocket, said enough.

Five Lessons I Learned from That Moment

1. Patience can be shared, even when it feels invisible.
Sometimes the best gift we can offer is not advice or correction, but a moment of calm presence that invites someone else to join us there.

2. Playfulness can open doors where lectures cannot.
That day, imagination created a bridge between us. The silliness made space for sincerity.

3. Healing often starts in quiet.
When he held that patience still, the calm that followed was not pretend. It was real. Sometimes we all just need a minute to hold still and let things regroup.

4. Connection changes behavior more than correction does.
Once he felt seen and safe, he wanted to stay close. Relationship, not rules, is what shifts hearts.

5. The things we teach often become the things we need.
As I asked him to care for patience, I realized I was reminding myself to do the same, to be gentle, to breathe, and to carry patience forward, even when it feels worn and invisible.

Reflection

So many things I leave unwritten in this post, but that day reminded me that patience is not a thing we simply have; it is something we practice, protect, and sometimes lend to others. In leadership, in parenting, in mentoring, or in life, patience is an act of generosity that allows space for growth and grace. The boy may have walked away with invisible patience in his pocket, but I walked away with something too ... a deeper understanding that the normalest, most creative moments of connection can plant seeds that grow long after the day is done.

Happy Thursday all.  Be kind to one another.

-srt