My Mom sent me an email the other day which included a story about the porcupine. I read it, then deleted it and went on my day. Later, it kept surfacing in my thoughts. It went something like this:
It was the harshest winter ever known to man. Many of the forest animals died because of the extreme cold and lashing winds.
The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together so that they would be covered and protected from the extreme temperatures. But upon huddle, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
One by one, they began to focus on the quills and soon forgot the heat they were sharing. Finally, one porcupine said, “I would rather be cold than be pricked!” And she moved away from the group. Others nodded fervently and they too decided to distance themselves one from the other.
The first porcupine who left the group, relieved that she no longer was being poked, started to grow very cold and fell into a deep sleep and then died alone and frozen. Others seeing this, panicked as they watched their friends who had separated die one-by-one. They realized they had a choice, either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together.
Through this they learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companion while enjoying the heat that came from the others. And, they survived.
Now, my mom gave me a moral to the story that I can’t repeat to this kind audience. Instead, I would argue the true moral is that the best relationship is not the one that brings together ‘perfect’ people, but the best is when each individual can admire the other person's good qualities and live with the imperfections. After all, we are all just human and even the best of us prone to mistakes.
In the spirit of true thankfulness, I would encourage anyone who is holding a grudge to let it go. Forgive and move forward. If you have wronged someone, be accountable for your actions, say you are sorry and move on. Release the weight of the luggage you carry, keeping only the lesson as a memory, so that your head and heart will be lighter on your journey.
Thank you for letting me share,
~stacy
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Rebound with Enthusiasm
“Action is the foundational key to all success.” - Pablo Picasso
In last weeks thought grenade, I shared how fear of failure is the root cause of so many failed ideas. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage,” Dale Carnegie had said. Imagine the deer in the headlights effect, fear drives people of action to freeze dead in their tracks. Only the deer that is quick on its feet and has its wits, will break out of the paralysis and bounce out of the car’s headlights and out of harms way.
“Do, or do not. There is no try.” - Jedi Master Yoda
If you are a Star Wars fan, Yoda’s words to Luke when he wasn’t trusting the power of the force are a good reminder of our choice for action or inaction. If Luke hadn’t embraced Yoda’s thinking, Luke would be stuck in the swamp and the movie would not have created the Lucas Star Wars dynasty that exists today. While my husband says the last paragraph was a bit dramatic, I would add this...what would Star Wars be if Luke did not fulfill his dynasty? He would have squandered his talent away. (and, wouldn’t Leia still be trapped on the death star?)
“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure” - George Edward Woodberry
Taking it another step further, if you believe that failure is part of living. And, if you live your life to the fullest, there is no question about it, you will make mistakes. You will enter into ventures that don’t succeed. You will throw out your best ideas only to have them fall flat. You will be unprepared at a critical moment. You will overreact and you might even offend.
Richard Carlson, Author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff writes, “I've yet to meet a person who is exempt from these oh-so-human facts of life. So, perhaps the most important question isn’t so much whether or not you will mess up, but rather how quickly you can recover when you do.”
If we aren’t exempt from our own humanness, it is inevitable that we will make mistakes. We will have setbacks. We might even make those problems into much larger problems because of our lack of ownership or accountability or maybe our sense of rightness. I think some of my bigger faux pauxs have occurred because I ignored the problem or avoided addressing the misunderstanding. In one case specifically, I trivialized the act making someone feel very insignificant and found out later it was huge disappointment to them.
But, there is hope. Because It is how you deal with these things which determines what happens next. I say recover quickly and rebound with enthusiasm.
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
Recovering quickly involves the recognition that something is wrong coupled with the insight that what is wrong might be your fault and if so admitting it, apologizing for your involvement in it and moving on. If it isn’t your fault, recall the old adage which says “To err is human, to forgive is divine,” then forgive, let go and move on.
Rebounding with enthusiasm isn’t forgetting the event happened, but using it as a foundation in learning. Malcolm Forbes agrees with this. After all, he is quoted as saying, “failure is success if you learn from it.”
Despair.com has a wall calendar that includes a picture of a ship sinking. The tag is Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. After I laughed and realized how very wrong it was, I had another thought. As student on this planet called Earth, we all learn a thing or two from our failures and what a very human gift to allow others to learn from our mistakes.
Thank you for letting me share,
~stacy
In last weeks thought grenade, I shared how fear of failure is the root cause of so many failed ideas. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage,” Dale Carnegie had said. Imagine the deer in the headlights effect, fear drives people of action to freeze dead in their tracks. Only the deer that is quick on its feet and has its wits, will break out of the paralysis and bounce out of the car’s headlights and out of harms way.
“Do, or do not. There is no try.” - Jedi Master Yoda
If you are a Star Wars fan, Yoda’s words to Luke when he wasn’t trusting the power of the force are a good reminder of our choice for action or inaction. If Luke hadn’t embraced Yoda’s thinking, Luke would be stuck in the swamp and the movie would not have created the Lucas Star Wars dynasty that exists today. While my husband says the last paragraph was a bit dramatic, I would add this...what would Star Wars be if Luke did not fulfill his dynasty? He would have squandered his talent away. (and, wouldn’t Leia still be trapped on the death star?)
“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure” - George Edward Woodberry
Taking it another step further, if you believe that failure is part of living. And, if you live your life to the fullest, there is no question about it, you will make mistakes. You will enter into ventures that don’t succeed. You will throw out your best ideas only to have them fall flat. You will be unprepared at a critical moment. You will overreact and you might even offend.
Richard Carlson, Author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff writes, “I've yet to meet a person who is exempt from these oh-so-human facts of life. So, perhaps the most important question isn’t so much whether or not you will mess up, but rather how quickly you can recover when you do.”
If we aren’t exempt from our own humanness, it is inevitable that we will make mistakes. We will have setbacks. We might even make those problems into much larger problems because of our lack of ownership or accountability or maybe our sense of rightness. I think some of my bigger faux pauxs have occurred because I ignored the problem or avoided addressing the misunderstanding. In one case specifically, I trivialized the act making someone feel very insignificant and found out later it was huge disappointment to them.
But, there is hope. Because It is how you deal with these things which determines what happens next. I say recover quickly and rebound with enthusiasm.
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
Recovering quickly involves the recognition that something is wrong coupled with the insight that what is wrong might be your fault and if so admitting it, apologizing for your involvement in it and moving on. If it isn’t your fault, recall the old adage which says “To err is human, to forgive is divine,” then forgive, let go and move on.
Rebounding with enthusiasm isn’t forgetting the event happened, but using it as a foundation in learning. Malcolm Forbes agrees with this. After all, he is quoted as saying, “failure is success if you learn from it.”
Despair.com has a wall calendar that includes a picture of a ship sinking. The tag is Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. After I laughed and realized how very wrong it was, I had another thought. As student on this planet called Earth, we all learn a thing or two from our failures and what a very human gift to allow others to learn from our mistakes.
Thank you for letting me share,
~stacy
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Incite Ideas
Have you had one of those days when you wake up and ideas come at you so fast you struggle to capture them all? Or how about when you are stuck in traffic and a great idea hits you? When that happens to you, what do you do?
If you are like many people, you do nothing or maybe you tell yourself that when you get home you will write that idea down, but then home comes and you have now forgotten the main premise of the idea or lost it entirely. Or, are you the type of person when those insightful nuggets start coming, you pull the car over to grab a pen, or get your voice recorder out and let the words flow or you simply grab a pad of paper and start scribbling ideas, thoughts, doodles while still in your pajamas.
Facing facts, it is a sad reality that only a small percentage of ideas ever take flight. they don’t get traction due to fear, or because of need for perfection or the idea person doesn’t know how to package, market and sell the idea. In the simplest of terms...fear, confinement or lack of passion will ground ideas. And worse case scenario, your really good idea ends up someone else’s really good idea and you watch in slow motion as it is presented on the shopping channel or as the award transfers hands.
FEAR > COURAGE
“As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”- Marianne Williamson
Amazing to believe that fear is the root cause of so many failed dreams. People allow fear to drive their decisions for many reasons. Whether it is fear of failure or reputation or loss of money, fear eats away at what we are so tightly trying to hold on to and protect. Fear drives people of action to freeze dead in their tracks. Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Marianne Williamson has another thought about fear. She says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” Imagine being all that you are and allowing others to do the same while you have the courage to push an idea forward.
CONFINEMENT > HOPE
“Success represents the one per cent of your work which results from the 99 per cent that is called failure." -Soichiro Honda
Idea People who are unwilling to fail or who are consumed with perfection will find it hard to let ideas take flight. Much like an airplane, wings and an engine allow it to fly. An idea is the same. If confined, the idea will stay grounded. But given wings and a push, it has the ability to catch wind and achieve flight. I say ability, because wings and a push doesn’t guarantee success. However, wings, a push, hope and willingness to fail are the primary ingredients for success. Failure ROCKS not just because it makes success sweeter, but because failure means you are trying. And, who knows better than the most creative of thinkers? Henry Ford said "Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." And, IBM's own Thomas Watson said, "If you want to succeed, double your failure rate."
INCITE > PASSION
(v) To stir, encourage, or urge on; stimulate or prompt to action: to incite a crowd to riot.
Type incite into google and you will get a host of responses from the definition to joining groups to [you name it]. Everyone of them is urging the reader to take some form of action. Things happen quickly and, with ideas, speed is a virtuous circle. Per Steven Baylay, Hewlett-Packard makes the majority of its earnings from products that didn't exist last year. Once the simple ability to manufacture guaranteed competitive advantage. That's no longer so. Anything can be made anywhere; the world is flat. Instead, the ability to generate ideas has replaced manufacturing as the engine of the economy.” Add onto that speed, the ability to influence and drive something towards adoption. I read somewhere that idea generators were unpredictable, quixotic and completely unsuited for the business environment. While that might have been true about Bob Dylan (“I follow no one”) or Miles Davis (“I’ll play it first and tell you what it’s about later”), there are many individuals in the workplace with unconventional wisdom who are sparking ideas on a variety of levels and scale each and every day.
Wrapping up, My wish for each of you is to not let fear, naysayers, need for perfection, inability to let go or inability to incite others make you stop. live life as it is meant to be… fearless, full of gusto, with determination and desire. Let your ideas flood the workplace. Incite others through your passion. And, on the days where life attacks you “several days all at once” and you are discouraged or challenged, think of what Teddy Roosevelt said a long, long time ago:
Living life in the arena,
~stacy
If you are like many people, you do nothing or maybe you tell yourself that when you get home you will write that idea down, but then home comes and you have now forgotten the main premise of the idea or lost it entirely. Or, are you the type of person when those insightful nuggets start coming, you pull the car over to grab a pen, or get your voice recorder out and let the words flow or you simply grab a pad of paper and start scribbling ideas, thoughts, doodles while still in your pajamas.
Facing facts, it is a sad reality that only a small percentage of ideas ever take flight. they don’t get traction due to fear, or because of need for perfection or the idea person doesn’t know how to package, market and sell the idea. In the simplest of terms...fear, confinement or lack of passion will ground ideas. And worse case scenario, your really good idea ends up someone else’s really good idea and you watch in slow motion as it is presented on the shopping channel or as the award transfers hands.
FEAR > COURAGE
“As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”- Marianne Williamson
Amazing to believe that fear is the root cause of so many failed dreams. People allow fear to drive their decisions for many reasons. Whether it is fear of failure or reputation or loss of money, fear eats away at what we are so tightly trying to hold on to and protect. Fear drives people of action to freeze dead in their tracks. Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Marianne Williamson has another thought about fear. She says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” Imagine being all that you are and allowing others to do the same while you have the courage to push an idea forward.
CONFINEMENT > HOPE
“Success represents the one per cent of your work which results from the 99 per cent that is called failure." -Soichiro Honda
Idea People who are unwilling to fail or who are consumed with perfection will find it hard to let ideas take flight. Much like an airplane, wings and an engine allow it to fly. An idea is the same. If confined, the idea will stay grounded. But given wings and a push, it has the ability to catch wind and achieve flight. I say ability, because wings and a push doesn’t guarantee success. However, wings, a push, hope and willingness to fail are the primary ingredients for success. Failure ROCKS not just because it makes success sweeter, but because failure means you are trying. And, who knows better than the most creative of thinkers? Henry Ford said "Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." And, IBM's own Thomas Watson said, "If you want to succeed, double your failure rate."
INCITE > PASSION
(v) To stir, encourage, or urge on; stimulate or prompt to action: to incite a crowd to riot.
Type incite into google and you will get a host of responses from the definition to joining groups to [you name it]. Everyone of them is urging the reader to take some form of action. Things happen quickly and, with ideas, speed is a virtuous circle. Per Steven Baylay, Hewlett-Packard makes the majority of its earnings from products that didn't exist last year. Once the simple ability to manufacture guaranteed competitive advantage. That's no longer so. Anything can be made anywhere; the world is flat. Instead, the ability to generate ideas has replaced manufacturing as the engine of the economy.” Add onto that speed, the ability to influence and drive something towards adoption. I read somewhere that idea generators were unpredictable, quixotic and completely unsuited for the business environment. While that might have been true about Bob Dylan (“I follow no one”) or Miles Davis (“I’ll play it first and tell you what it’s about later”), there are many individuals in the workplace with unconventional wisdom who are sparking ideas on a variety of levels and scale each and every day.
Wrapping up, My wish for each of you is to not let fear, naysayers, need for perfection, inability to let go or inability to incite others make you stop. live life as it is meant to be… fearless, full of gusto, with determination and desire. Let your ideas flood the workplace. Incite others through your passion. And, on the days where life attacks you “several days all at once” and you are discouraged or challenged, think of what Teddy Roosevelt said a long, long time ago:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is not effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Living life in the arena,
~stacy
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Listen to Your Inclination
Inclination [In-kluh-ney-shuh n] - noun : A disposition or bent, esp. of the mind or will; a liking or preference
In the 20 Century Fox movie Knight and Day (2010), the two main characters are on a plane having a friendly conversation. The character played by Cameron Diaz starts talking about the things she will do “someday”. The character played by Tom Cruise responds “Someday. That’s a dangerous word. It’s really just a code for ‘never’.
It is a sobering belief, to believe that all of the items on your bucket list are merely there in fantasy and will never take form.
Turning “someday” from disbelief to hope, Rob Thomas uses another form of expression to convey the power of choice in the song “Someday”. He sings, “’cause maybe someday we’ll figure all this out. We’ll put an end to all our doubt. Try to find a way to just feel better now . And maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud. We’ll be better off somehow. Someday.”
So, how does one make ‘someday’ thinking become ‘today’ thinking? It seems like such an easy thing to do. Maybe too simple, in fact. One manner is to allow yourself to let your inclinations drive your actions.
Now, you probably noticed I used the word inclination versus instinct or dreams or… I like the word inclination as it paints a picture for me of bent, lean, bias, tendency, propensity, and predilection. It makes me feel that if there were no limitations, natural gravity would push us there.
Seth Godin, the author of the book, Linchpin, believes there is a new type of team member appearing around the world. They aren’t managers, they aren’t labor, they are indispensible and they guide their actions with their gut.
Driving based on their inclinations, these individuals Godin calls the “linchpins”. He says linchpins “invent, lead (regardless of title), connect, make things happen, and create order out of chaos.” He goes on to say they are indispensible because they truly enjoy what they do, “pour their best selves into it” and turn each day into a unique experience for their customers, management and peers.
“Every day, I meet people who have so much to give but have been bullied enough or frightened enough to hold it back. It’s time to stop complying with the system and draw your own map,” says Godin.
Listening to your inclination …
· allows you to follow your morale compass in decisioning.
· affords you to drive forward without a rule book.
· Helps you find shortcuts that others can’t see.
· Lights paths in relationship building because people see you as authentic.
· Gives you the tools to draw your own map.
· rids you of the resistance that holds others back.
You have brilliance in you. The work you do is essential. What you bring to work every day is precious. It is uniquely yours, only you can do what you do, and per Godin (and me!) you must.
Thank you for letting me share,
~Stacy
Knight and Day @20 Century fox 2010
“Someday” written by Rob Thomas, Shy Carter, Matt Serletic @2009
Linchpin written by Seth Godin @Do You Zoom, Inc., 2010
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