Living Your Life On Purpose

After many years of digging, I finally found a written version of a story my dad used to tell about an elderly man in the final days of his life. The man is lying in bed alone when he awakens to see a large group of people clustered around his bed. Their faces are loving, but sad. Confused, the old man smiles weakly and whispers, “you must be my childhood friends come to say goodbye. I am so grateful.” moving closer, the tallest figure gently grasps the old man’s hand and replies, “yes, we are your best and oldest friends, but long ago you abandoned us. For we are the unfulfilled promises of your youth. We are the unrealized hopes, dreams and plans that you once felt deeply in your heart, but never pursued. We are the unique talents that you never refined, the special gifts that you never discovered. Old friend, we have not come to comfort you, but to die with you.”

The story, which I finally found in a book entitled 5 by Dan Zadra, has been in repeat mode in my mind. Started when a team member called a several weeks ago and mentioned her father’s health had deteriorated and her family was coming together to make arrangements for extended care. Another team member has been going through the same and had just finished with finding a home for her aging father and is in the process of selling his home in order to secure his final days. Then, a few weeks ago my dad fell off a ladder with a chainsaw in one hand and an oak branch in the other. He was lucky to have fractured his leg and dislocated his ankle versus cutting off an entire limb. With advanced diabetes, the healing process has been extremely rough for him. These things - so close—have extreme impact and have consumed my thinking. Lately, it has been about my husband’s favorite theory on living with no regrets, which goes hand in hand with living life as if on purpose.

Take a moment to reflect on your life. Do you, will you, wish you had done anything different? Will there be any opportunities you really wanted to go after, but watched pass by? Innovative ideas you let drift away? Childhood dreams you let go unfulfilled? If so, now is the time to live each day as if it were on purpose. In the words of Caterina Rando, it is never too late to “live and work without regrets” and to meet each day engaged, alert, alive, enthusiastic and in action. In the words of George Elliot" It is never too late to be what you might have been".

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

In 2000, Someone forwarded an e-mail to me about a time management expert talking to business students about the bandwidth present in their lives. The story, The Jar (which I posted on 11/6), came at the perfect time as we were entering into the California Conversion and team members were working long and hard to ensure success. I shared the email with our CTO at the time and we created a recognition campaign around it specific to the conversion milestone dates. Amazing how a story about a mason jar, water, rocks, pebbles and sand can illustrate the need to reflect and give priority to the most important "things" in our lives, both professional and personal.

Taking that one step beyond the “things”, the book 5 encourages one to question what values you are being guided by? Family, Friends, Health, Wealth, Faith, Art, Adventure, Love are all examples of lifetime values that should guide your decisions in life. Consider yourself a great adventurer following the north star (values) with only a compass (life mission) in hand. Chart your course. Make a plan. After all, without knowing where you are going how will you know at the end that you got there?

Think about your life. Think about your values. Where are you and where do you need a nudge to get you started on your personal adventure?

Wishing you a life with purpose....and an ending with no regrets. :)
~Stacy

References
Zadra, Dan. Five. Compendium, Incorporated. 2009

Rando, Caterina. “Living without regrets”

The Jar

One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz," and he pulled out a one-gallon, Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.

When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes." The time management expert replied, "Really?"

He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?"

By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered.

"Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?" "No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good."

Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration? One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!" "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point.

The truth this illustration teaches us is, "If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in the jar."

What are the big rocks in your life?

~ Anonymous

Caught Laughing on the Job

In 2002, two of my friends recommended that I sign up for a class from Charthouse Learning called the Fish Philosophy. They had been working at southwest airlines for many years and had noticed a significant change in company culture due to encouraged on the job fun.

What is on the job fun? Tag? Hide and seek? Kick the Can? According to the Charthouse Learning website, maybe all of the above! Charthouse Learning introduced Fish Philosophy as a way to encourage speaking to “the kid we all still have inside of us” and bringing it into the workplace appropriately.

According to the Charthouse Learning Website, “People who find ways to incorporate “play” into their daily lives approach their work, responsibilities and challenges with energy and enthusiasm. In fact, some of the best innovations in the world are a result of playing with ideas. And some of the most serious environments can also benefit from a sense of playfulness.”

I took the Fish Philosophy! class with a colleague and realized immediately that Charthouse Learning gets it. Southwest Airlines gets it. What did they get? They both understand that incorporating play into our daily lives offers an environment that is energized, enthusiastic and promotes innovation. But more importantly it makes team members WANT to come to work because it promotes an environment of fun where laughter is the norm.

When was the last time you laughed at work?

Laughter is universal. It is a worldwide language that unites people. In fact, it is highly contagious. Have you noticed how a laugh very often creates a shared laugh?

"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!" Emerson

Laughter has amazing effects on the body. It is GOOD for you! laughter in essence is the “magic bullet“ or “uber medicine” — and you don’t need to see a m.d. to get a prescription or pay for it. We all have our own endless supply internal to us—to be used when, how and where we want.

I read somewhere that Laughing has been compared to an ‘internal jogging' because your body gets a complete workout from a good laugh. One site said that, “Laughing is aerobic exercise for your intercostals, diaphragm, abdominal, facial and respiratory muscles because increases muscle flexion and relieves muscular tension.”

Having a sense of humor helps us interpret events that happen in our lives. Humor can lighten up even the tensest of situations. No longer negative, you are able to deal with the obstacle/challenge in front of you.

How do we bring play into the workplace? One of the simplest ways is to be authentic. Another is to simply get to know your team mates and what makes them smile.

Looking forward to catching you all ... Laughing! Thanks for letting me share.
~Stacy

Greetings from the Thomas Family - 2009

Have you ever had years go by so fast that you need to look through the photo albums to remember all that occurred? 2009 was one of those years for the Thomas family.

Change was the reoccurring theme this year and the more we tried to resist, the more it brought itself to us. It wasn’t until we acknowledged it that we were able to embrace it. Here are some highlights from 2009:

January – Wells Fargo and Wachovia merger official.
February – Bruce reserves his place for the annual lobster dive!
March - Celebrated Devon’s 11th Birthday and St. Patrick’s Day with the Rea’s over for a traditional St. Patrick’s Feast.
April – Brandon turns 13 and along with Stacy learns to shoot a shotgun with Uncle Randy.
May – We joined 200 family and friends to help Brooke and Billie celebrate 50 years of wedded bliss.
June – We had may friend BBQ’s, but Father’s Day topped it off as one great party.July - Billie took Stacy, Brandon, Devon and Justin to Ashland, Oregon for the Shakespeare Festival.
July – The whole family spent 4th of July in Reno, NV at the Red, White and Blue Cat Show. Our male, Lucian Chat, championed after one night.
August – we choose to go to the California State Fair on the hottest day of the year.
September – Justin, a budding Marine Biologist, swam with the dolphins for his eighth birthday at Marine World Africa USA.
October - Brandon, Devon and Stacy embarked upon Reno, NV with VIP tickets for the Rob Thomas Cradlesong Tour.
November – Jenner with the Raunam Family at the Crows Nest was just what the doctor ordered. Kayaking, Crabbing and Beach combing was just what the doctor ordered.
December – Christmas Tree hunting at North Star Christmas Tree Farm in the snow and Cookie Baking with the Baileys!!

Of all the things we are thankful for, overwhelmingly family, friends and health were on each of our lists. If you haven’t already done so, please connect with us over Facebook. At minimum, we would love to hear from you. Email us at: reatho@yahoo.com.

Wishing you a year full of love, laughter, and good health surrounded and supported by family and friends.

Sincerely, Bruce, Stacy, Brandon, Devon and Justin

Listen & Connect to The World Around You

Last year I shared with you the story of Matt, the video programmer who quit his job to travel around the world with his funky dance. Matt now travels the world for Stride Gum connecting people through dance. This year, I share with you Juan. Juan had been living in London when his world turned upside down and he had to go home to Sydney. In his words, going home “now meant no one to welcome me back, no place to call home. I was a tourist in my hometown.”

As he stood in airport, he watched the other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together, he wanted someone out there to be waiting for him. He wanted someone to “be happy to see me. To smile at me. To hug me.” He did what many of us would not have. He got some cardboard and a marker and made a sign. He then found the busiest pedestrian intersection in the city and held that sign. It read "Free Hugs" on both sides.

For 15 minutes, people just stared right through him. The first person who stopped, tapped him on the shoulder and told him how her dog had just died that morning. How that morning had been the one year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. How what she needed now, when she felt most alone in the world, was a hug. Juan got down on one knee, put his arms around her and the sad, depressed woman left smiling.

To my knowledge, the only thing that Matt and Juan have in common is the choice they made to take a bad situation and make it better by making others feel good. Matt’s goal was to make people smile with his dance. Juan’s was personal connection and his instrument was two arms and caring heart.

Choice is a powerful thing. Choice is a catalyst for change. Choice can lead people to greatness or it can lead individuals to wallow in despair. Think about all the choices you make each and every day. Now, think about if they are getting you closer to your dreams or pushing you farther from them. A little deeper, who is making your choices? Are you or have you given the power of choice to others to make on your behalf?

The goodness about choice is that we all have it and are accountable to ourselves on how we use it. I am not encouraging anyone to quit their jobs (no matter how good you dance) or give away free hugs. But....what if this week, you made the choice to listen and connect?

· Stop, turn, and really listen to a neighbor or when they ask “how are you?” authentically respond versus saying “fine”.
· Reach across the organization to someone not at your location and find out what they are working on.
· Deflect credit to the individuals who actually did the work instead of choosing to take personal credit for it.
· Roll up your sleeves and pitch in when the going gets tough instead of choosing to get frustrated and complain.
· And yes..... even choosing to have a great day when you would rather wallow in self pity.

Listen to the world. Listen to yourself. After today, how will you use the power of choice to make a difference in your life? In our workplace? In our world?

Thanks for letting me share.

~Stacy

References
Story and Photo of Juan Mann owned by © 2009 Free Hugs Campaign. Information about Free Hugs Campaign accessible at: http://freehugscampaign.org/