The Stories We Can't Control

I've been thinking about our conversation on Monday.

And then I came across a quote online by Scott D. Clary that stopped me in my tracks.

I felt it with every ounce of my being.

"Every person you interact with is carrying a version of you in their head that you have zero control over..."

I don't know about you, but that was both incredibly freeing...and a little unsettling.

If I'm honest, I've spent more time than I'd like to admit replaying conversations.

    Did I say the right thing?

        Did I come across the way I intended?

            Could I have handled that differently?

Maybe you've been there too.

The older I get, the more I realize that none of us are remembered exactly as we are.

        We're remembered through moments.

            Someone remembers your kindness.

                Someone remembers the day you challenged them.

                    Someone remembers a conversation that changed their life.

                        Someone else remembers a moment you barely remember at all.

None of them hold the complete picture.

And maybe they never will.

As leaders, parents, friends, and coworkers, we can spend so much energy trying to manage perceptions.

But peace begins when we accept what we were never meant to control.

We can't rewrite every story.

We can't convince everyone they have the "right" version of us.

We can only choose who we become.

Grab your coffee

Before we finish our coffee together, I'd love for you to think about one question.

Whose perception of you are you carrying that was never yours to carry?

Don't rush to answer.

Just notice.

Sometimes the greatest freedom comes when we stop trying to manage someone else's story and start living our own with integrity.

This Week's Reminder

You can't control others' perceptions of you.

You can control your character.

Lead with strength.

Live with purpose.

Until next time...

-srt

#ThursdayThoughts #Leadership #Growth #LiveWithPurpose #ReaCoachingandConsulting #ThankyouScottDClary

The Only Version of You That Matters

This week, I found myself thinking about something that is both freeing and humbling.

Every person we meet carries a different version of us.

Some remember our kindness.
Some remember a mistake.
Some remember a conversation that changed their life.
Others remember a moment we don't even recall.

The truth is, we can't manage every perception, rewrite every story, or convince everyone they know the "real" us.

And maybe we're not supposed to.

I've learned that leadership isn't about controlling your reputation.

It's about stewarding your character.

Character is built in the quiet choices.

        Showing up with integrity.

            Treating people with respect.

                Owning your mistakes.

                    Extending grace.

                        Choosing kindness when no one is watching.

People will always interpret our words through the lens of their own experiences, hurts, expectations, and beliefs. That's simply part of being human.

This Week's Reminder

You can't control others' perceptions of you.

You can control your character.

So this week, let go of the exhausting pursuit of being understood by everyone.

Instead, become someone who consistently lives your values.

Happy Monday, friends.

Until next time, keep leading with strength and living with purpose.

-srt

#MotivationalMonday #Leadership #Growth #LiveWithPurpose #ReaCoachingandConsulting

When the Right Book Finds You

 I've been thinking about our conversation on Monday.

About the books.

Pour yourself another cup of coffee.

Let's talk for a minute.

This week I walked past my bookshelf looking for one specific title.

You know how that goes.

You reach for one book...

...and end up standing there reading the backs of six others.

I smiled because I realized something.

Most of those books have little sticky notes sticking out of them.

Highlighted pages.

Bent corners.

Coffee stains.

They're well-loved (whether or not Nicole agrees).

But not because I read them cover to cover in one sitting.

They're well-loved because they found me when I needed them.

Isn't that funny?

There are books I've owned for years that sat untouched on my shelf.

Then one day I picked one up...

...and it felt like the author had been waiting for me all along.

The words hadn't changed.

I had.

That's why I don't believe we simply choose books.

Sometimes books choose us.

As a coach, I see the same thing happen with people.

Someone recommends a book.

The person isn't interested.

Six months later they read the exact same book...

...and it changes everything.

Not because the book became better.

Because they became ready.

Life has a way of preparing us for certain lessons.

And when the timing is right...

Words we've skimmed before suddenly land differently.

A sentence becomes a mirror.

A chapter becomes permission.

A paragraph becomes hope.

I wonder if people are a little like that too.

Have you ever had a conversation that didn't seem particularly important at the time...

...only to remember it years later because suddenly it made perfect sense?

Maybe wisdom has seasons too.

Maybe we're not meant to understand everything the first time we hear it.

Maybe growth isn't just about learning something new.

Maybe it's becoming ready for truths that have been waiting for us all along.

Coffee Conversation

Before we finish our coffee together...

Can I leave you with one question?

What lesson have you been resisting...

...that you might finally be ready to receive?

Maybe the answer has been sitting on your bookshelf.

Or maybe it's been sitting quietly in your heart.

This Week's Reminder

The right words have a way of finding us when we're finally ready to hear them.

Until next time, keep leading with strength and living with purpose.

-srt

#ThursdayThoughts #Books #Leadership #PersonalGrowth #GrowthMindset #LiveWithPurpose #ReaCoachingAndConsulting